GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Do Women Experience Midlife Crisis?

POSTED BY: RIVER6213
UPDATED: Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:12
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:47 PM

RIVER6213


Dumb topic I know, but I want to know if you other women on this board experience midlife Crisis.

I haven’t hit menopause yet, but I feel that my behavior in the past few months have been rather, well, all over the place. Deep into my cup I have been. Failed suicide attempt, running to the church, and being born again, and being suddenly mean and yelling a lot, and breaking things and such. Weird behavior. Has anyone else been experiencing these things in their mid 40s?

I need your opinions on this one. I have 3 presentations to do in the next 2 months, plus the big one...the primary presentation that will be done in Philadelphia on August 24th. This presentation will be a make or break deal. If I can sell this right, then I can retire from my current life of crime. But if I'm not on top of my game, I will lose everything and I mean everything.

I have been under more pressure in the past 2 years than I have ever been in my entire life. I’ve been flying all over the damned U.S. and this jet lag is taking its toll for the one-armed girl. There are a lot of people depending on me, and there are a LOT of people who want me to fail, and they are/have been waiting on the sidelines for just this sort of event, and if I blow this, I won’t even bother writing a suicide note, I will just do it. What would you do in my position? How do I handle all of this?

I very rarely confide in other women, but what would you do if you were top dog (as Citizen puts it) in a corporation that you started, made a killing, and then spent years having the competition licking at your heels?

I was so fucking proud in the past. Proud of my accomplishments, and now I am in a position where I could totally screw this thing up because I appear to have lost my focus; lost my way, and I am at certain points, consumed with an acid-like anger one moment, and then all of a sudden I’m as calm as a lamb….strange. I’m not going to make it through with this rapid shift in behavior. Is this hormonal? If it is, then I need to go find a drug that will arrest this sort of behavior in myself and restore me to my cold, Vulcan-like demeanor. Does a drug or a chemical on the market exist for this? Have any of you experienced this and have found a solution?

Anyone here that finds this request annoying or unwarranted....go screw yourselves. I am on this board because I like firefly and the people that it seems to attract. It is a RARE thing when I can just have conversations with REAL people. I found that the level of conversations that I have on this board are the BEST conversations I have had with anyone, anywhere in years, so if some of you disapprove, go fish up a tree, and kiss my ass while you are at it.

Enough ranting. I need advice, and I’m asking in a nice way I think. I'm really angry right now and I don’t know why. Call me mental, and yes I think I AM mental, but so @&%!*# what? At least I’m honest.

River
BTW My birthday is on May 8th so do me a favor and for the 1st time in 6 years wish me a happy birthday...okay?




Troll Country here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:54 PM

SASSALICIOUS


I'm sure something similar has happened to other women on here. It certainly happened to my aunt.

Other than that, I can't be of much help to you aside from saying that I'm having an early 20s crisis, which sounds totally lame to me.

Sorry I'm not much more help.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:03 PM

RIVER6213


Sometimes I wish I were 20 again. I was so aggressive in my 20s. The universe was mine for the taking...that was my state of mind back then.

I need to fraking wake the hell up from my PirateNews, induced dreams.

River



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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:23 PM

SASSALICIOUS


No one deserves to be subjected to PirateNews induced dreams.

F***cker finally took his first potshot at me today. And my thought was "oh you sad little man".

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:44 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Hell ya! Midlife Crisis aint gender related, its a age related thing. I see on midlife crisis, thirties crisis and stuff like that in roughly the same way. When you realise youve gotten old, you either reinvent yourself and keep fighting or you conform to society and fade away (Maybe a bit dramatic and over simpliefied, but you get the point). My tip is never trully grow up and to try to keep your good sides throughout life.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:51 PM

RIVER6213


Piratenews mind is in the Realm that I only wish I were in. His dreams are reality to himself. If I could make my dreams reality, I would rule the world, but that's not in the cards of life for me. Everyday is Omaha Beach, Vietnam, The Klendathu Drop and Serenity Valley, and as we all know here...you never leave Serenity Valley, not ever.

River



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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:54 PM

COPILOT


Screw everythin no worries!
Life is beautiful!
An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:03 PM

SASSALICIOUS


Sometimes. But on other occasions you want to put your fist through the mirror that seems to control your life.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:20 PM

KHYRON


Quote:

Originally posted by Sassalicious:
Other than that, I can't be of much help to you aside from saying that I'm having an early 20s crisis, which sounds totally lame to me.


I had the same, it's called a quarter-life crisis (I'm not joking about the name), but it's not as common as having a midlife crisis and, yes, probably even a bit lamer. Apparently the most affected demographic is that of 20-somethings that have just or are about to finish their tertiary education, usually the ones for whom university or college was such a great experience that the rest of their upcoming life seems kind of bleak in comparison. It's going to pass, although in my case it only went away when I started studying something completely different 2 years after I finished the first degree.



Other people can occasionally be useful, especially as minions. I want lots of minions.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:31 PM

SASSALICIOUS


Quote:

Originally posted by Khyron:
Quote:

Originally posted by Sassalicious:
Other than that, I can't be of much help to you aside from saying that I'm having an early 20s crisis, which sounds totally lame to me.


I had the same, it's called a quarter-life crisis (I'm not joking about the name), but it's not as common as having a midlife crisis and, yes, probably even a bit lamer. Apparently the most affected demographic is that of 20-somethings that have just or are about to finish their tertiary education, usually the ones for whom university or college was such a great experience that the rest of their upcoming life seems kind of bleak in comparison. It's going to pass, although in my case it only went away when I started studying something completely different 2 years after I finished the first degree.



Other people can occasionally be useful, especially as minions. I want lots of minions.



That's what is really bizarre. I'm studying two totally different things and I love both. I'm pretty okay with leaving college next year (after 5 years) and entering the real world. I'm also mostly fascinated with what I've decided to do with my life.

I think my problem is that a) I've been playing "adult" for far too long now and b)my wanderlust is too great. I want to spend a number of years wandering the globe, starting now, before coming back to reality. But of course, I have to finish school, pay back my loans, fund my life, and fund the travel. I don't know if any of this just made sense or not, but oh well.

Sometimes I wish I could just be a Buddhist monk.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 2:43 AM

DEEPGIRL187


Quote:

Originally posted by Sassalicious:
No one deserves to be subjected to PirateNews induced dreams.

F***cker finally took his first potshot at me today. And my thought was "oh you sad little man".



I apparently haven't had the pleasure of meeting PirateNews. Who is he exactly?

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:08 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


River

I haven't experienced a Mid-life crisis. I have been too busy cleaning up the crap my not-yet-ex's created in mine and the boys lives.

I wonder though, if you are not experiencing burn out from the stress. It sounds like repressed anger or frustration. Maybe if you look at it from that angle, you can identify where it is coming from. At least if you understand it, you might beable to mitigate it until after the big presentation.

Once that is behind you, I would suggest a sabatical to clear your head of those things that you didn't work out before and are haunting you now.

And no peeps, FMF has never gone to therapy, but everyone around her has. Also, I am cursed with extreme selfawareness and a keen sense of what my issues are and from whence they stem. Don't need no ruttin shrink to tell me I am a mess I just cry all the time and have health issues

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:11 AM

DEEPGIRL187


*big hugs for River6213 and FutureMrsFillion*

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:22 AM

GRIZWALD


River, you bet - don't know if it's hormonal or societal or what, but I sure believe women can and do have midlife crises. If you're nearing menopause, it could definitely be the hormones playing merry hob with your system.

Had a physical lately? I'd start there. (I'm thinking of doing the same - I'm 44.) Ask for a complete hormone panel. It'd be wonderful if it were a simple hormone imbalance and you could get it fixed long enough to make your triumphant exit from the rat race.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:25 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION




Big hugs right back

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:25 AM

SAFEAT2ND


Happy Bithday River!

I just spent the last half hour cleaning birthday cake off my screen. Apparently I can't just pass it throught the screen to you. I should taken the hint when the balloons kept breaking. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.



Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:56 AM

TAYEATRA


Happy Birthday RiveR6213.

I don't know about midlife crisis but I've been lunging from one patch of depressed/weird behaviour to another since I was 15. Sometimes I wonder if I just overanalyse too much but on reflection I realise that I don't cope with changes very well so I bottle things up and just stress out.

I know it sounds lame but sometimes if I've felt down for a while I try changing my diet for a week or two and altering my general routine. Cleaning up my surroundings sometimes makes me feel better if I know I have to work. It's just easier to concentrate.

If you're stuck on the presentation thing then start with something small and seemingly irrelevant like 'what you'll wear'. Think whether you need to look good standing, whether you'll move about, gesticulate etc... then why you'll move about. Are you 'pointing to charts', 'showing promo posters'? Work up and sort of plan backwards. It might work for you or it might not but it's a thought.

*hugs RiveR6213*
Hope you feel a little better. Keep us posted!

*****
Taya
*****
Dark Angel, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Enterprise, Farscape... anything else you'd like to cancel?

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 7:15 AM

SASSALICIOUS


Go check out any number of Real World Event Discussion threads and he's probably in there. The Illegal Immigration is a good one, but there are many many others.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:29 AM

RIVER6213


Quote:

Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
River

I haven't experienced a Mid-life crisis. I have been too busy cleaning up the crap my not-yet-ex's created in mine and the boys lives.

I wonder though, if you are not experiencing burn out from the stress. It sounds like repressed anger or frustration. Maybe if you look at it from that angle, you can identify where it is coming from. At least if you understand it, you might beable to mitigate it until after the big presentation.

Once that is behind you, I would suggest a sabatical to clear your head of those things that you didn't work out before and are haunting you now.

And no peeps, FMF has never gone to therapy, but everyone around her has. Also, I am cursed with extreme selfawareness and a keen sense of what my issues are and from whence they stem. Don't need no ruttin shrink to tell me I am a mess I just cry all the time and have health issues



Well, I've thought about that. After August 24th, win or lose, I'm going to take a whole year off and maybe go travling around the world...who knows, I might not ever come back.

I've bitten off more than I can chew with this current life; everything is just too big, and I'm no longer the super woman who can handle it all.

Anyway, thanks for that FMF.

River

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:30 AM

RIVER6213



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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:33 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


That sounds like a plan River! Life should be enjoyed and if your current life hinders that - well good bye to it, hello little drink with the fuzzy umbrella!

Would that I could join you!

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:37 AM

RIVER6213


Quote:

Originally posted by Grizwald:
River, you bet - don't know if it's hormonal or societal or what, but I sure believe women can and do have midlife crises. If you're nearing menopause, it could definitely be the hormones playing merry hob with your system.

Had a physical lately? I'd start there. (I'm thinking of doing the same - I'm 44.) Ask for a complete hormone panel. It'd be wonderful if it were a simple hormone imbalance and you could get it fixed long enough to make your triumphant exit from the rat race.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.



I was given a complete physical after the failed suicide attempt. I was also kept in a place for about a week for "observation" and all I did was pace back and forth in that little room, which didnt really help my case much, but they had to let me go.

They really want to get back to me about my physical, but I've been too busy to get back at them. If I do have hormonal issues, then that would explain the sudden desire to break things, and the acid-based anger, or the feeling that the whole world is on my shoulders, or the massive depressions that just shows up out of no where.

I will have to look into that. Thanks Grizwald.

River

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:43 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Happy Birthday to River6213
Happy Birthday to River6213
Happy Birthday to River6213
Hapy Birthday to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:44 AM

RIVER6213


Quote:

Originally posted by safeat2nd:
Happy Bithday River!

I just spent the last half hour cleaning birthday cake off my screen. Apparently I can't just pass it throught the screen to you. I should taken the hint when the balloons kept breaking. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.



Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny



Thank you.

My Birthday's on Monday. May 8th. I haven’t celebrated it in 6 years, so I'm going to get really drunk and listen too my Karen Carpenter albums. And the only reason I’m mentioning it to you guys a gals is because I want to have someone say Happy Birthday to me. An honest bid for attention if you ask it and me, but it’s totally harmless!!

Thanks for being here everyone, I appreciate it.

River

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:51 AM

RIVER6213


Quote:

Originally posted by Tayeatra:
Happy Birthday RiveR6213.

I don't know about midlife crisis but I've been lunging from one patch of depressed/weird behaviour to another since I was 15. Sometimes I wonder if I just overanalyse too much but on reflection I realise that I don't cope with changes very well so I bottle things up and just stress out.

I know it sounds lame but sometimes if I've felt down for a while I try changing my diet for a week or two and altering my general routine. Cleaning up my surroundings sometimes makes me feel better if I know I have to work. It's just easier to concentrate.

If you're stuck on the presentation thing then start with something small and seemingly irrelevant like 'what you'll wear'. Think whether you need to look good standing, whether you'll move about, gesticulate etc... then why you'll move about. Are you 'pointing to charts', 'showing promo posters'? Work up and sort of plan backwards. It might work for you or it might not but it's a thought.

*hugs RiveR6213*
Hope you feel a little better. Keep us posted!

*****
Taya
*****
Dark Angel, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Enterprise, Farscape... anything else you'd like to cancel?



Its going to be a presentation in front of at least 400 people, but the ones I really have to impress are the ones I call the beady-eyed, big three. These guys can enhance, or destroy a business with their good house keeping seal of approval. My whole life has built up to this 60-minute presentation...the final showdown. Do I have what it takes? I'm such a dramatic attention whore! LOL!

River

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:03 AM

SAMEERTIA


River,
Most women experience midlife crisis when they realize that they've reached 40 and never achieved their dreams.

It sounds to me a little like you achieved your goals, and then started new ones, but you are terrified of failing at them. And that terror is what is paralyzing you now.

You can get past this. Remind yourself that you once walked on top of the competition, that you're dreams were at your feet, and then tell yourself that you can and WILL do it again.

And you know what? Even if you fail, even if you don't manage it, or even if the critics yell too loudly and drown your success, it isn't the end of the world. It's the end of a frightening and stressful time in your life when you can start over and do something that you love, not something that tears you up inside and out.


Don't give up on anything except the fear.
*hugs*
Ertia




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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:12 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


If you didn't have what it takes, you would not now be in the position to ask that question.

Stop second guessing yourself! You are where you are because YOU built your company. The sweat of your brow was its lifes blood.

To steal a Nike advertising phrase - JUST DO IT.

The more you worry and fret, the more you are going to upset yourself.

Besides, lets examine what it really means if you fail.

I am not trying to sound to simplistic, but I have seen my greatest fear (well thats something happening to my kids, so its my2nd greatest fear and guess what, I am happier NOW then I have been in the last 19 years. So sometimes failure one facet brings delight and happines to another facet of your life.

I know you only from your posts and I have faith in you!

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