GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

For Keeps

POSTED BY: SUPERTOASTER2
UPDATED: Thursday, June 11, 2009 14:30
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Saturday, April 1, 2006 10:53 AM

SUPERTOASTER2


I still think River is too scary, she needs to be cheeky. I would have flirting with Jayne. Which both excites, and scares him. I would see River scared, and depressed, by fighting for the humanity she has inside, seeing that she is a weapon, and wanting to be the pebble again, that feels the emotion of life, as we do from our hearts.

"Flashback"
I would have river looking at her feet when she was a young girl. River is standing in a river, paddling in the river, see the pebbles under her feet, and her face, moving upwards towards the sun, as she smiles. Her eyes squinting because it is too bright. "Happy Days"!!!!

I think Jessy Wheldon got it wrong in that Serenity is how the whole crew moves on from the lowest ebb, and how they find the fire, which is the Sun, to live bright lives again.

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 11:07 AM

ZOID


Supertoaster2:

I, too, can write betterer than Jessy Wheldon. Sunlight, streaming like God into brain, burning rods and cones into cinders. "Happiness", indeed!!!!

Lithium. Must remember to take lithium, or else enter a different reality where people fear me, because I am so Godlike...



Pebbly,

zoid

P.S.
Jessy Wheldon was a 'wannabe nerd' who sat behind me in Health class in high school in 1974. His only failings were poor 'people skills' and personal hygiene, by nerd standards. As a writer, he often wrote odd, stream-of-consciousness pieces -- from his own consciousness -- which nobody else could understand. ...Because they were sane.
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 11:29 AM

SUPERTOASTER2


Quote:

Originally posted by zoid:
Supertoaster2:
Hi Zoid,

Thanks for the reply I thought I would get a lot of negative responses, but I was willing to ride the signal/wave. I just thought that Firefly has a big potential, but it need to swing more to all the characters their own story, their own fire, to be on the firefly. Mel is a great character, but, maybe the ship needed its own story, so you feel empathy for the ship. Maybe it had done various jobs, and surivived to give others their fire.

Mel as the Captain is great, but he seems to shrink in holding the story together, it needed something else, a person, to see the link.
Mel would always be the leader of the Firefly, but I don't think he holds the story as the main character, he needs to come off an even stronger character.

I can't put my finger on it. I don't know, maybe this is me being silly trying to grasp for straws a three legged, cat, who through alls its wars, still gives affection to everyone on the ship. I don't know?

Even Jayne can be seen kissing it and loving it.

Maybe leaving presents in people's cabins when he doesn't approve of what they have done. Seeing the Cat rushing out of Jayne's cablin after leaving another present, for taking his toy mouse away as a punishmnent?

Name for the cat, I don't know maybe three-quarters, as he has lost eight, and quarter lives, and he has only three-quarters cat lives left?

I don't know, thanks for the one and only reply. I am not writer, just a fan who would have liked to have seen improved.

The other thing I think let it down was the Music, it forced you to think Western, and then you had to compare it to the old Westerns. I think they would have been better for going for Smooth Jazz, or lighter music.

River's Theme Music:
This is a great song:
http://molly.blogs.com/i_can_change_this_later_r/files/gnarls_barkley_
crazy.mp3


Thank you for the one and only reply

Thank you very much,

Supertoaster2





I, too, can write betterer than Jessy Wheldon. Sunlight, streaming like God into brain, burning rods and cones into cinders. "Happiness", indeed!!!!

Lithium. Must remember to take lithium, or else enter a different reality where people fear me, because I am so Godlike...



Pebbly,

zoid

P.S.
Jessy Wheldon was a 'wannabe nerd' who sat behind me in Health class in high school in 1974. His only failings were poor 'people skills' and personal hygiene, by nerd standards. As a writer, he often wrote odd, stream-of-consciousness pieces -- from his own consciousness -- which nobody else could understand. ...Because they were sane.
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'



"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 1:03 PM

THEPISTONENGINE


Who the hell is Jessy Wheldon?

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 1:22 PM

SAVEWASH

Now I am learning about scary.


Thank you, The PistonEngine, for asking the very question that was in my mind!



"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 1:42 PM

BROWNCOATSANDINISTA


The wannabe nerd that sat behind Zoid, like it says in the second post!

If anyone gets nosy...Shoot em.
Shoot em sir?
Politely.

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 1:49 PM

AERYNSUN21


you may be able to write better but you can't spell better than Joss Whedon (not Wheldon)

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 2:01 PM

EMBERS


um...
April Fools?


**********************************************
watch the R. Tam Session vids: http://www.hittarivertam.nu/
and buy the 'Serenity' comics published by Dark Horse
have you checked out this thread?:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=15816

and listen to 'I'm Going To See Serenity':
http://music.podshow.com/music/listeners/artistdetails.php?BandHash=a0
c814e1229742ce77ed4497cbf4631c

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 2:02 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


Point taken.



"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 2:07 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


No April Fools!

I just thought I would write on how I would like to see things improve, if the show ever did get back onto television.

Hell! I am sure there better writers, etc. But, I just got this two cents from my brain, and it rattled around for a while that it eventually dropped out.



Jayne Might Say:"Hell I don't mind leaving the toilet seat down, the poor sod after me whose got to wipe it!".






"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 2:14 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Ok now I'm not sure how toungue in cheek this all is but if it aint... I was interested in your interpretation of River. I think the sun reference is a little obvious though. Trouble with symbolism like that is that it's too overused.(Personally) short hand cinematic language can be a real turn off with film; it's a tricky balance I grant you. Obviously some has to be used or else no-one will understand the metaphor or allegory but too much and the viewer feels like they are being pounded over the head with a mallet.

However very interesting to see your take on character development. The flirting thing would be nice to see as River hasn't been presented in that way at all.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 2:41 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


Thank you

Scene Flirt1 #

I just think the scriptwriters could have fun with River, and Jayne. It makes River more human, in that she can laugh, and mock herself; otherwise, it becomes too gothic it very hard to relate to her for this reason.

I would like a scene where River flirts with Jayne, and he is sat at the table or a chair, and for obvious he can't get up.

One of the other Crew call him to assist with something

He has to put Threequarters the cat, book or someting on his lap to hide his embrassment and blushes.

The others walk in, and see a very shy Jayne.

Scene Flirt 2#

Jayne gets goosed by River, who just walks off, and winks at him.

Jayne Might Say:" I have clean underwear, turn my underpants inside out every other week"



"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 3:44 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


If Wash is dead, I think it would be interesting to see a converted Reever, or the Operative to join the crew?

Mal is a strong Character, and he needs someone just as strong character to offset him.

I suppose like Kirk, Spock, and Mcoy in Star Trek.

There are other characters, but he seems too autocratic, he needs someone who will question him.

Zoe, will ask questions but follow orders.


The operative was great as he would use his intellect, and seemed Mal's equal in that department. I think it would be an interesting dynamic in the Crew.

But you need someone who will make him think.

A Reever, would be like River a fellow traveller in their minds are shattered?
Maybe a good pilot like Wash?

Jayne Might Say:"Kiss, Good night Vera?"

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 3:48 PM

MRSELLARS


Dude, his name is Mal, not Mel.


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Saturday, April 1, 2006 3:49 PM

SUPERTOASTER2




"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 3:54 PM

BROWNCOATSANDINISTA


I think it would be interesting if they got another Psychic/Psycho on board. It would be an interesting dynamic between him/her and River.

If anyone gets nosy...Shoot em.
Shoot em sir?
Politely.

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 5:56 PM

THEPISTONENGINE


That goes parallel with an unsaid idea of mind, the alliance hunting River with another pyschic.

Quote:

Originally posted by BrowncoatSandinista:
I think it would be interesting if they got another Psychic/Psycho on board. It would be an interesting dynamic between him/her and River.

If anyone gets nosy...Shoot em.
Shoot em sir?
Politely.



_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 6:25 PM

MISSTRESSAHARA


I just would like to know one thing...

Where did the cat come from?

River and Jayne? GOD NO! It's as bad to me as the Kaylee Jayne combo. It just seems wrong. I always saw them as a sort of sister brother dynamic. I know there are many Jaylee fanfics out there and I'm sure they're great but reading about those two to me is like reading a filk about Simon and River. Just.... no.

MHO and my two cents.

You may now continue with your regularly schedualed program.

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 11:31 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


I think River has to be seen as being normal.
And flirting with Jayne, or teasing him is one way of getting the more human side of River out of her. Otherwise, she is mad! Maybe, not as mad as the Reevers, but how can most people relate, unless they have gone completeley bonkers. We meed tp see the more normal side.

I disagree, I think that Zoe, and Mal, and Kayleigh, and Wash are family. Simon an Rivers, are family.

But, others can go like rabbits at it.

Not the weapon side, and not the crazy side, but the normal side.

The Cat thing, is to earlier on in my thread.

Jayne Might Say:"Washing Your Hands, What For?"

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 11:37 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


I think the Pychic thing would be too "Babylon Five".

I think there needs to be other baddies, other than just the Alliance, and Reevers. It opens up the story lines, etc.

Jayne Might Say:"I can't go if you are looking at me".

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Saturday, April 1, 2006 11:42 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


I see that cat as being a character that binds the crew together. To simulate a missing leg, the costume department could put some kind of makeup, or legging on the leg to make the leg look like an artifical leg.

This and the numerous scars from various battles, to show that for all its scars, it still has a lot of affection in its heart, which helps remind the crew to be warm-hearted, and not take the cold route, or evil route.


Another name for the Cat could be fire?

It is an idea.

It isn't in the series or the film.
Jayne Might Say:

Mal:"Jayne Where is may paperwork I left here?"

Jayne:"Sort run out toilet paper!"

Mal:"Did you read it?"

Jayne:"Hell no, I just wiped"




"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 6:08 AM

SUPERTOASTER2


I just thought wouldn't be great to make Wash the bad guy. The core has taken his body and made him into an operative, a person who is now dedicated to the Core, the alliance, and he become one of the new badies.

His body has been reproduced, and his mind has been restructured. River is unable to reach him mind; otherwise, it would be too easy.

I see him as half-man, half human fuelled with rage, that the firefly team left to the Reevers.
Who stared to eat at him before the Alliance soilder's rescued him.

You could have a scene where you see the outside of the Firefly, with screaming help me, Zoe, help me Mel, Jayne........But the firefly teams think he is dead, and don't know that he is still alive.
The Reevers drag him off to their ship. He remains on the Reever ship for two days, until the Alliance finally come to rescue him. His mind and body scared.... very scared.


It was the Alliance who rebuilt him, and this is what he has built his foundation on, the hatred of those that left him, and the gratitude of those that saved him.

It remindes me of the parable of:
" A little bird tries to fly, it falls and hits the ground. It can't get back up to the ground, it has a broken wing. A cow comes along shits on it. And it doesn't think much of that, but it is now warm and cosy. A Fox comes along sees the little bird picks it up, cleans it and promptly eats it."

Morale: Those that shit on you are not always doing you harm; and those that get you out of the shit are not always getting you out of the shit.

I see Wash as the broken bird. It would make brillant scenes.


The reason I like this idea, it makes the baddie a little grey, hard, that to me is always a good thing.

Jayne Might Say:"Is it normal Mal to dream about having sex with your gun, it is sort of freakin' me out?"

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 6:36 AM

THEPISTONENGINE


Supertoaster2... you're just plain batty. Great, crazy, stimulating, what-ifs have hardly ever been the foundation for solid storytelling. The idea is not to throw in as many twists and turns to keep your audience excited (or plain stupefied), but to tell the story as the story needs to be told.

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 3:07 PM

MISSTRESSAHARA


This has become a very wierd thread.

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 8:23 PM

SINGATE


Three things came to mind while reading this thread:

1. Lithium
2. Shock treatment
3. Lobotomy

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 10:55 PM

CITIZEN


Trolly trolly troll troll.

Troll.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No beast so fierce but knows some touch of pity. But I know none, and therefore am no beast.

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Monday, April 3, 2006 1:30 AM

NUCLEARDAY


I can write "better than Joss Whedon" too ;p

See? I just did :)

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006 1:41 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


This thread is not for everyone. It is looking at possible ideas, or alternative storyline?

Most will not understand it or like it!



The companion, although she has dignity, you have to ask, does she enjoy, what she does? And no-one has explained, when she will retire?

If she needs the money or for what reason she is doing it?

Her relationship with Mal suggest that she doesn't do it for love.

Strange? They would have been better making her a a slave that was bound due to a debt to be a companion for say 20 years, to pay her famillies debts or someting like that.

Then, I think it would give the companion more depth.

Heroes are not always the one's carrying gun, but the one's that carry the burden. Maybe that is the Companion's burden to be a heroine, with a debt or a scarifce that no-one can understand but her. She, thus, walks a to the drum of a slient drum, a scarlet letter, that is hidden in the past, but paid for in the present, and rewarded in the future.







Jayne Might Say:"What is a belly button for, you push it.. and nothing? Mad! If you push a button you want it to do something"

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006 4:34 PM

NUCLEARDAY


Oh, I'm only kidding ;p

It sounds like you may have some interesting ideas. Have you thought of writing any fanfic based on some of these?

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006 5:36 PM

BIGDAMNNOBODY


Please do go on. You had me at the three legged cat called Fire.

De-lurking to stir stuff up

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006 11:27 AM

SUPERTOASTER2


Book

Like the past he is a ghost as in life, as in death. He haunts the ship with his memories, and his saying, jokes, and laughter.

Great men are empty for they give so much of themselves back to the Universe, like a whistle in the wind, you can't hear it with your ear, but your souls hears it and sings along, and one day, you will sing that song yourself, and wonder why?

Book is a ghost with a past, and a future he now gives to the Universe.

Mal sits in his chair with his feet up on the cockpit panels, Fire sitting in his lap purring, as Mal strokes him under his chin.Mal's eyes are closed, as he smiles.

The cockpit is quiet, and the star, seem like crystals. There is peace on the ship, and as if there was as small song, maybe not a song, but a whistle, that made the ship feel like home.
Zen Philosopy:Men wrote books, books didn't write men.


Jayne Might Say:"Books, ain't got no time if they don't have pictures".


"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006 12:15 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


For Keeps

An old man lays on an old worn matteress, with stuffing coming out, he lungs heaving with pain. His grey hair, platted with sweat, he can hardly breath. His black face, old from hard life, but his eyes, had a depth that few man could see or measure.

The wooden shack isn't much bigger than a shed, the planks of wood, let shafts of light through. The mud on the floor is wet, and slushy

He Puts his hand down on the small blonde head that weeps into belly, ands strokes, his head. The pain is too great, he keeps passing out, he can't remember, how long he has been there, but he knows he hasn't got long to live, minutes rather than hours, he can feel the rupture in his stomach, and the bleeding the chest from the blast he took. He has only time left to give Jayne some comfort.

All Sam remembers what getting his gun to protect the little rubbish he been able to scavenge from the rubbish tip, that day, but the other person, was too quick. If only... now things were so complicated now, if only he hadn't taken charge of Jayne, this wouldn't be so painful.

That little rat-boy, whose eyes ran wild, feeding off garbage, and who fought the birds, for the bread crumbs. That, was now four years ago, and now Jayne must be eight, and what would he do? A spasm shot through his body, his teeth grinds.

Jayne when he had got him was wild and from the scars on his head, it was apparent, he had some brain damage, probably people had hit with a spade or a brick for some garbage on the tip. But, all the roughness, there was still that sweetness that survived.

"Jayne, Jayne... he whimpers. You must be brave, and strong. You are a man now".

Cough, Cough!

"I want you to never be afraid of running away when you have to, or fighting when you have to. But, if you can't be smart, do it right Jayne!", he smiles.

Cough, blood was trickling down his throat.

"Now, I am going to give you a present."
"Have I been good Uncle Sam?"
"Yes, Jayne, you have been very good".
"It is my birthday or Christmas?", Jayne lisps
"Now, I want you to keep this close, and never show anyone this present, and only use it to protect yourself be strong, when you have to fight, and run when you have to!"
His hand shaking he pulls a gun from under his pillow, and hands him the gun. Now put them in your bag?"
"For Keeps, Uncle Sam?"
"Yes, Jayne. Now, I want you to take your things and find yourself a new home."
Jaynes, eyes, become tearful, as his lip blubs
"Are you going just like my Mummy?"
"Yes, Jayne, I would stay if I could.. but I can't. I am sorry Jayne. But, now you must do as your mother said and fight, fight, and keep what is yours, for keeps"
Jayen, picks up his blue bag, and put the items into his blue bag.
Sam, swallows the blood that is now in his mouth.
"I love you Jayne!"
"I love you too Sam".
Jayne, opens the door to the shed, and walk out without looking back his eyes are red, his heart beats, and he know the fear like he has known before.


"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006 12:36 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


I liked my story with all its spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. So I am going to give it a big grin ,and a smile






"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I fly once again".

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006 2:00 PM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.


This sort of thing belongs in the blog section or fanfic, not on the discussion board. And since you keep editing the title of the thread I keep clicking on what I think is a discussion I haven't read yet, and it's just wasting my time.

Hopefully you will not be offended by my comments, I am not saying you don't have the right to post your ideas, just put them in the right place. Dong ma?




wo men ren ran zai fei xing.

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Thursday, June 11, 2009 2:30 PM

SUPERTOASTER2


Just reading some of the comments from a few years back. Funny, if not amusing!

Some harsh. Some very harsh. Most just amusing, as they don't back it up? It is a weird thread. But, I think the thread, say it all: "Three-Quarters, Not For Everyone".

For all those that were kind, thanks!
And yes, I did post the small short story on the proper part of this website.

But, I think most of you don't know how hard it is to do a simple sub-plot in less than three-hundred words.

Cheers for the kind words, I think there were a couple of nice words.
Thank you!

"My wings maybe be broken, my eyes may only see the black in the world, but my heart sees the fire, and I will fly once again".

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