REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . .

POSTED BY: STATIC
UPDATED: Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 691
PAGE 1 of 1

Friday, August 6, 2004 7:54 AM

STATIC


At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being held incognito by the FBI pending probable charges of transporting
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a terrorist cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ' x ' and ' y ' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns'; but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with large
numbers of coordinates in every Muslim country." He added, "As the
Greek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say: There are 3 sides to
every triangle."


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Had God
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes". To which his cabinet members then
chorused in unison: "AMEN!"


==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 9:37 AM

NOOCYTE




Oh.
Dear.
Gods.

This is ruttin' brilliant!! Is this an original?

But I do believe I have ruptured my spleen, Static.

I hope you're happy.



Department of Redundancy Department

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 9:49 AM

STATIC


Alas, I cannot claim it as my own. . .my father, who is a High School Math Teacher sent it to me. I believe this was HIS brainchild.

==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36 PM

SOUPCATCHER


Your father is a freakin' genius!!

Great stuff.

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

YOUR OPTIONS

NEW POSTS TODAY

USERPOST DATE

OTHER TOPICS

DISCUSSIONS
Benghazi
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:54 - 18 posts
Is 2016 the year of the Third Party?
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:48 - 22 posts
Hillairy goes 0-3 in latest Primaries
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:40 - 35 posts
Breast Ironing by Feminazis?
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:38 - 72 posts
Obama Visits Hiroshima
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:30 - 2 posts
What's the Point of Jobs in China?
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:28 - 12 posts
Bernie Sanders Discussion Thread
Fri, May 27, 2016 17:04 - 283 posts
Russia Invades Ukraine
Fri, May 27, 2016 14:53 - 1484 posts
Jon Stewart on Hillary Clinton: just because Hillary deserves her own thread
Fri, May 27, 2016 03:18 - 7 posts
TRUMP - Just because.....................Naw, I just can't say it!
Fri, May 27, 2016 02:52 - 57 posts
Evil Bitch Katie Couric Pretends to be a Reporter
Thu, May 26, 2016 18:17 - 1 posts
WTF France's labor unionists at nuclear plants wil go on strike tonight for 24 hours...French we don't want no fukushima washing up on the east coast
Thu, May 26, 2016 17:51 - 2 posts

FFF.NET SOCIAL