All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . . by Static

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . .

POSTED BY: STATIC
UPDATED: Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36
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Friday, August 06, 2004 7:54 AM

At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being held incognito by the FBI pending probable charges of transporting weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a terrorist cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ' x ' and ' y ' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns'; but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with large numbers of coordinates in every Muslim country." He added, "As the Greek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say: There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Had God wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes". To which his cabinet members then chorused in unison: "AMEN!"

================================================== "Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Friday, August 06, 2004 9:37 AM

NOOCYTE

:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

Oh. Dear. Gods.

This is ruttin' brilliant!! Is this an original?

But I do believe I have ruptured my spleen, Static.

I hope you're happy.

Department of Redundancy Department

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Friday, August 06, 2004 9:49 AM

STATIC

Alas, I cannot claim it as my own. . .my father, who is a High School Math Teacher sent it to me. I believe this was HIS brainchild.

================================================== "Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Friday, August 06, 2004 12:36 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Your father is a freakin' genius!!

Great stuff. :biggrin:

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

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