REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

All New Terrorist Threat Discovered. . .

POSTED BY: STATIC
UPDATED: Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 749
PAGE 1 of 1

Friday, August 6, 2004 7:54 AM

STATIC


At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being held incognito by the FBI pending probable charges of transporting
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a terrorist cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ' x ' and ' y ' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns'; but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with large
numbers of coordinates in every Muslim country." He added, "As the
Greek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say: There are 3 sides to
every triangle."


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Had God
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes". To which his cabinet members then
chorused in unison: "AMEN!"


==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 9:37 AM

NOOCYTE




Oh.
Dear.
Gods.

This is ruttin' brilliant!! Is this an original?

But I do believe I have ruptured my spleen, Static.

I hope you're happy.



Department of Redundancy Department

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 9:49 AM

STATIC


Alas, I cannot claim it as my own. . .my father, who is a High School Math Teacher sent it to me. I believe this was HIS brainchild.

==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, August 6, 2004 12:36 PM

SOUPCATCHER


Your father is a freakin' genius!!

Great stuff.

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

YOUR OPTIONS

NEW POSTS TODAY

USERPOST DATE

OTHER TOPICS

DISCUSSIONS
Is Trump Nuts?
Fri, March 24, 2017 17:36 - 302 posts
'media matters' Alex Jones Apologizes For Pizzagate Coverage, Blames Other Media Outlets
Fri, March 24, 2017 17:35 - 1 posts
The Yemen Thread
Fri, March 24, 2017 17:24 - 18 posts
CNN: Russian Ambassador also met with Hillary advisors
Fri, March 24, 2017 15:58 - 11 posts
Canada, extreme regressive leftwing, passes Sharia law style motion to silence critics of Islamist jihadis. Law passed 201 to 91 protecting islamism from critics.
Fri, March 24, 2017 12:51 - 5 posts
we're like, really smart
Fri, March 24, 2017 11:00 - 15 posts
I bid one no Trump
Thu, March 23, 2017 23:02 - 51 posts
JO 753 for Prezident!
Thu, March 23, 2017 16:59 - 101 posts
Coffee - Cheers!
Thu, March 23, 2017 15:47 - 213 posts
Russian Hackers charged in Yahoo breach
Thu, March 23, 2017 10:02 - 16 posts
Libel & Slander
Wed, March 22, 2017 22:37 - 38 posts
Trump's Refugee/Immigrant/Muslim Ban
Wed, March 22, 2017 22:31 - 74 posts

FFF.NET SOCIAL