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Ohh, I'll think for you

POSTED BY: WISHIMAY
UPDATED: Saturday, June 17, 2017 22:30
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VIEWED: 588
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Friday, June 9, 2017 12:26 AM

WISHIMAY

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years!----------------------------------------- "Well, so long Earth. Thanks for the air... and what-not." -Philip J. Fry


https://holykaw.alltop.com/turning-tables-atheists-spoke-like-christia
ns


My kid and I have decided to put "I have a personal relationship with reality" on some T-shirts




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Friday, June 9, 2017 1:31 AM

BRENDA


Sounds like a good idea to me.

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Friday, June 9, 2017 6:20 AM

SECOND

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly




Can you imagine what it would sound like if atheists started talking like Christians?

The point is that we'd sound like jerks. Arrogant. Condescending. And that's what a lot of Christianese sounds like, too. And credit where it's due. I didn't write these -- most of them came from readers of my website who suggested them when I asked for ideas years ago. You can check the link below for the full article.

Now share this video with 100 people... God won't love you and nothing will happen. It'd just be really nice of you.

www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/04/16/if-atheists-talked-li
ke-christians/#disqus_thread


I'm not an atheist. I'm just a follower of reason.

Oh, hi, new neighbor. What library do you go to?

I love believers. I just hate their beliefs.

I have a personal relationship with reality.

You're religious...? Oh... well, I'll think for you.

You don't act like a Christian. You're really open minded.

Oh, God loves me? Well, Darwin explains you.

Axial tilt is the reason for the season.

I do good in the world because it's the atheist thing to do.

The universe works in non-mysterious ways.

Oh, stop complaining about my beliefs. You just hate reason. But it's okay. Reason loves you anyway.

I just found a great parking spot! Thanks, random chance!

We all have a truth-shaped hole in our brain.

Conservatives are waging a war on science!... (wait, that one makes sense.)

I know it's frustrating that your glass shattered on the floor, but remember: Gravity has a plan for you.

I would like to thank great genes for my team's victory tonight.

A lot of people reject atheism because they just don't want to obey the laws of physics.

With science, all things are somewhat probable.

You don't accept evolution? Then what's stopping you from murdering people if you don't think altruism guides your biological fitness?

Just because you don't believe in evolution doesn't mean you didn't evolve.

Deep down, I know you really believe in the scientific method.

You don't accept science? That's just because you haven't gone to the right natural history museum yet.

If you don't accept evolution, then why do you talk about it so much?

I'm not worried about death thanks to the grace of my telomeres.

A peer-reviewed journal said, I have no reason to doubt it, that settles it... unless new evidence becomes available.

Before we eat, let's bow our heads and give thanks to the farmers who cultivated and harvested this food.

Just you wait. When you're on your deathbed, you'll finally ask for medicine. I heard Thomas Aquinas recanted right before he died.

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years.

Why don't you just try not being delusional?

Behold! The Christian's nightmare. Now if you study a well-made banana, you'll find that it's a consequence of evolution. Artificial selection, in this case.

I'll spare you all my screams of "Oh, Darwin!"

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

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Friday, June 9, 2017 7:33 AM

6STRINGJOKER


LOL... "Let's act like jerks and idiots too."

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Friday, June 9, 2017 10:37 AM

WISHIMAY

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years!----------------------------------------- "Well, so long Earth. Thanks for the air... and what-not." -Philip J. Fry


As usual, you totally miss the point.

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Friday, June 9, 2017 12:04 PM

6STRINGJOKER


What point? You're going to dress your daughter up in a shirt that is just as offensive as you find religious people to be.

More power to ya. I hope she doesn't get picked on at school for wearing it by the other idiots.

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Friday, June 9, 2017 1:34 PM

WISHIMAY

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years!----------------------------------------- "Well, so long Earth. Thanks for the air... and what-not." -Philip J. Fry


You know what they say... "Turnabout is fair play" and...HOMESCHOOL, duh.

I doubt most if the people here would even get it.

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Friday, June 9, 2017 10:49 PM

6STRINGJOKER


I've got a lot of opinions, and I know that some of them aren't popular, at least with certain crowds anyhow. I'd never put one on a bumper sticker on my car or put out a sign announcing to the block who I was voting for. I definitely wouldn't dress my kid up in any message that was political or religious.

It's a free country. Do what you want. I just hope your daughter isn't put in some seriously stupid and completely unavoidable confrontation one day for having a shirt like that out in the boonies where you live.

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Saturday, June 10, 2017 1:50 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Darwin explains you.

Axial tilt is the reason for the season.


Those two nailed it for me.

And what are the chances they'd appear EXACTLY like that, in order ? Apparently, pretty darn good !

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Thursday, June 15, 2017 7:35 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by second:
Can you imagine what it would sound like if atheists started talking like Christians?

The point is that we'd sound like jerks. Arrogant. Condescending. And that's what a lot of Christianese sounds like, too. And credit where it's due. I didn't write these -- most of them came from readers of my website who suggested them when I asked for ideas years ago. You can check the link below for the full article.

Now share this video with 100 people... God won't love you and nothing will happen. It'd just be really nice of you.

www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/04/16/if-atheists-talked-li
ke-christians/#disqus_thread


I'm not an atheist. I'm just a follower of reason.

Oh, hi, new neighbor. What library do you go to?

I love believers. I just hate their beliefs.

I have a personal relationship with reality.

You're religious...? Oh... well, I'll think for you.

You don't act like a Christian. You're really open minded.

Oh, God loves me? Well, Darwin explains you.

Axial tilt is the reason for the season.

I do good in the world because it's the atheist thing to do.

The universe works in non-mysterious ways.

Oh, stop complaining about my beliefs. You just hate reason. But it's okay. Reason loves you anyway.

I just found a great parking spot! Thanks, random chance!

We all have a truth-shaped hole in our brain.

Conservatives are waging a war on science!... (wait, that one makes sense.)

I know it's frustrating that your glass shattered on the floor, but remember: Gravity has a plan for you.

I would like to thank great genes for my team's victory tonight.

A lot of people reject atheism because they just don't want to obey the laws of physics.

With science, all things are somewhat probable.

You don't accept evolution? Then what's stopping you from murdering people if you don't think altruism guides your biological fitness?

Just because you don't believe in evolution doesn't mean you didn't evolve.

Deep down, I know you really believe in the scientific method.

You don't accept science? That's just because you haven't gone to the right natural history museum yet.

If you don't accept evolution, then why do you talk about it so much?

I'm not worried about death thanks to the grace of my telomeres.

A peer-reviewed journal said, I have no reason to doubt it, that settles it... unless new evidence becomes available.

Before we eat, let's bow our heads and give thanks to the farmers who cultivated and harvested this food.

Just you wait. When you're on your deathbed, you'll finally ask for medicine. I heard Thomas Aquinas recanted right before he died.

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years.

Why don't you just try not being delusional?

Behold! The Christian's nightmare. Now if you study a well-made banana, you'll find that it's a consequence of evolution. Artificial selection, in this case.

I'll spare you all my screams of "Oh, Darwin!"



I think I may be missing many of them. Is this, like, Jehovah's Witness jokes?
Have you seen the film "Expelled" with Ben Stein?

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Thursday, June 15, 2017 11:47 PM

WISHIMAY

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years!----------------------------------------- "Well, so long Earth. Thanks for the air... and what-not." -Philip J. Fry


These are sayings that Christians use over and over, but modified to be used and said from the perspective of an Atheist to a Christian. If we feel like being as assholic as they are sometimes, that is. Here, I have modified some back to Pro-christian form

I'm not Religious, I just follow the bible.

Hi, new neighbor. So which church do you attend?

I love atheists, I just hate their beliefs.

I have a personal relationship with Jesus. Do you? (this one has been used over 100 times from the guys hubby worked with, ad nauseum. One guy asked him every time he saw him.)

You're NOT religious? Oh, I'll pray for you

You don't act like an atheist, you're really open minded.

Jesus is the reason for the season.

I do good works because it's the "Christian-like" thing to do

I just found a great parking spot, thank you Jesus!

We all have a god shaped hole in our heart.

God has a plan for you.

A lot of people reject Christianity because they just don't want to follow god's laws.

You don't accept Jesus?? Well, you just haven't been to the right church.

The one about telomeres.... telomeres are the caps on the ends of your DNA and depending on their strength is how well or badly you age.

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Friday, June 16, 2017 4:31 AM

SHINYGOODGUY


When you're right, you're right.............

Doh! they don't get it.


SGG


Quote:

Originally posted by Wishimay:
You know what they say... "Turnabout is fair play" and...HOMESCHOOL, duh.

I doubt most if the people here would even get it.


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Friday, June 16, 2017 4:37 AM

SHINYGOODGUY


These are two of my favorites:

Quote:

I just found a great parking spot! Thanks, random chance!

We all have a truth-shaped hole in our brain.




SGG


Quote:

Originally posted by Wishimay:
https://holykaw.alltop.com/turning-tables-atheists-spoke-like-christia
ns


My kid and I have decided to put "I have a personal relationship with reality" on some T-shirts





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Friday, June 16, 2017 2:50 PM

OONJERAH


Hmmm. Lucky me. There are no vocal Christians in my immediate neighborhood.
Among my relatives, my daughter & her husband are "devout" christians. They
attend church & tithe faithfully. I guess that takes care of it & pleases Jesus,
they think. Cause their interpersonal behavior is very unChristian. That is, they
are rageoholics & you can hear them fighting down the block.
If the proof is in the pudding, Christianity just doesn't work for some folks.

So what if they'd joined a Hindu or Buddhist group, & were taught to transcend their egos?
I believe the result would be exactly the same.
I see no light, no teachability in them.


Let me be teachable.

... oooOO}{OOooo ...

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Friday, June 16, 2017 5:25 PM

6STRINGJOKER


I've never known a vocal Christian in my entire life. I've bumped into a couple of crackpot "Born Agains" here and there, and the occasional knock on the door from Jehova's Witnesses, but nothing you couldn't easily shut the door on. My grandma is happy to talk about it if somebody wants to, but she doesn't go around telling everybody they're going to hell if they don't believe in God even though she thinks that.

I think in 2017 they only exist in horror movies. And in the heads of people who are paranoid that everyone is out to get them.

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Friday, June 16, 2017 9:48 PM

OONJERAH



my daughter & her husband are "devout" Christians.


Neither of them were raised in the Church. Perhaps all they
knew of it when they began is that the Preacher who performed
their wedding was a really nice person.
... No doubt, he counseled them before & after the ceremony.
And it was all new to them ... sounded good.

... Church is a bit like joining a club; you are likely to meet
people you like in there.

Later, my daughter told me she takes the Bible quite literally.
If the Bible says that God made this earth & the whole universe
in 6 days ... then that's exactly what happened. Science is BS.

... Maybe she got swapped at birth and isn't my real kid. :(



... oooOO}{OOooo ...

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Friday, June 16, 2017 10:40 PM

WISHIMAY

There will be fire and brimstone and Earth will be destroyed!... in several billion years!----------------------------------------- "Well, so long Earth. Thanks for the air... and what-not." -Philip J. Fry


Quote:

Originally posted by Oonjerah:


Later, my daughter told me she takes the Bible quite literally.
If the Bible says that God made this earth & the whole universe
in 6 days ... then that's exactly what happened. Science is BS.




E gads, that's a toughie there. She take after her dad or something? You seem pretty together...

You hate to break the delusion too, I'm sure... then she'd get kicked out of the "god club".

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Friday, June 16, 2017 11:10 PM

6STRINGJOKER


My dad started going with my step-mom a few years ago. He retired early at 55 years old and I think he was just bored. He doesn't believe in any of it, and I never heard her talk about religion once in my life. I think they just wanted to meet new people.

My dad was never a social type, so it was kind of shocking when he told me that sometimes he gets together with some of the people and even the (pastor/father/whatever) for dinner and even hosts dinner themselves some times. I guess the preacher is pretty cool. My dad got him to read Jesus on Mars.

Pretty good book by Farmer if you've never read it, OONJ.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_on_Mars

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Saturday, June 17, 2017 12:00 AM

RIVERLOVE


The 1952 movie Red Planet Mars starring Peter Graves dealt with a similar religious theme. The movie used communication from Mars to prove a cosmic existence of a supreme being. It also portrays the Russian commies as godless brutes and murderers. The surprise ending of this intriguing movie is gut-wrenching. Definitely one of the better of the Cold War sci fi movies of that era.



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Saturday, June 17, 2017 10:30 PM

6STRINGJOKER


Cool. I'll have to see if that's on Kodi.

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