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New Study Finds Therapy, Antidepressants Equally Effective At Monetizing Depression

POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Sunday, April 19, 2015 16:20
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Sunday, April 19, 2015 12:45 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.


Please note the website. Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to satirize a totally dysfunctional society!

Quote:

NORMAN, OK—Noting that similar outcomes were achieved under both approaches, a landmark decade-long study of mental health treatment options published Tuesday has found that talk therapy and antidepressant medications are equally effective at monetizing clinical depression. “Our data indicate that regular counseling sessions and prescription drugs have similarly high success rates in generating large sums of money from the clinically depressed,” said Katherine Hutton of the University of Oklahoma, the study’s lead author, noting that both methods demonstrated consistent positive earnings across chronic, episodic, and seasonal depression cases. “While some people make tremendous profits with drugs, others see substantial revenues from therapy. Together, these are two very powerful tools for improving the health care industry’s bottom line.” The study concluded that when both approaches are combined, financial results are likely to be reached far more quickly than with one method alone.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-study-finds-therapy-antidepressan
ts-equally-ef,38026
/

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 1:33 PM

WHOZIT


I use to take Lexapro for awhile, now I just drink heavy on weekends.

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 1:37 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!



Does anyone ever stop and think about who these individuals are, who " work " at the Onion, and fabricate this mock site and these mock stories to sound as legit and sincere as what passes as 'real' news ?

The method of what they do fascinates me more than the commentary they put out. Might just be me though.

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 1:39 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Quote:

Originally posted by whozit:
I use to take Lexapro for awhile, now I just drink heavy on weekends.



Just a guess... you under 35 ?

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 2:41 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by AURaptor:

Does anyone ever stop and think about who these individuals are, who " work " at the Onion, and fabricate this mock site and these mock stories to sound as legit and sincere as what passes as 'real' news ?

The method of what they do fascinates me more than the commentary they put out. Might just be me though.


The primary guy is pretty cool.
Back when they were still in Madison (WI), one of the best stories was headlined "Rap video awards erupt in gunfire" or some such, and the following awards show for music including rap actually did erupt in gunfire. In the early days of the Onion, it was treacherous walking by the newsstand, one could fall from a misstep or shock or laughter. Another fave was "SCOTUS rules rock band bumper sticker is probable cause for drug stop" and I think the band named in the headline was Grateful Dead, or maybe some other stoner band.

His video work is funny as well.

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 2:49 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!



Well, the SCOTUS may not have come out and ruled on it, but it's common knowledge that a van w/ a Grateful Dead sticker on it can be profiled and searched. Especially if the Dead were playing in town.

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Sunday, April 19, 2015 4:20 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by AURaptor:

Well, the SCOTUS may not have come out and ruled on it, but it's common knowledge that a van w/ a Grateful Dead sticker on it can be profiled and searched. Especially if the Dead were playing in town.


IIRC the Onion story was before the actual case went through the courts - which os normally the case. Often I thought that libtards used The Onion as their source for ideas and strategy.

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