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France: a lesson

POSTED BY: ALIASSE
UPDATED: Sunday, August 29, 2010 14:14
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Saturday, August 28, 2010 10:48 AM

ALIASSE


This is the second in my series about European nations for people living between the east and west coasts of the United States of America, and it deals with: France.

France, like Germany, is a type of place. The people of France are widely known as ‘the French’. The language of the French – also called ‘French’ – is a beautiful and complex one, with over 50 ways of saying ‘strike action’. The French took their language to the British Isles in the exchange programme of 1066, as a result of which words like ‘government’ and ‘douche’ entered the English language.

The programme was led on the French side by Normans, descendents of Norse men from Scandinavia, hence their very blond hair and wide cheekbones. These Normans were also Jews, similar to the Jews of Germany (see previous post), but with much sharper teeth and legs that bent backwards like plastic superheroes. Imagine the fearsome spectacle they presented when they were first spotted from the English coast in their flotilla of acorn cups.

In subsequent centuries the French made their presence felt in many parts of the world, in spite of being entirely landlocked, particularly along the Cote d’Azur. Their leader during this entire period was Louis XIV of Saxe-Weimar, an insignificant scion of a lesser branch of the British Royal Family and grandfather of Napoleon Bonaparte. His adventures took him to Switzerland, Canada – where he received a particularly fraternal welcome from the people of Quebec – the Nazi Republic of New Orleans, the Caribbean, Africa’s Gold Coast, the Indian Ocean, and Indo-China. Since their defeat by Vietnamese Jews (who look down their noses at their European cousins) at Dien Bien Phu in 1954, the French have bored the whole world by making films about it, as though they were the only ones ever to have their arses kicked really hard and lose a war.

France today is by and large a peaceful country of peaceful people who spend their days tending their crops of cheese and cigarettes. For further information on this, please consult:



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Saturday, August 28, 2010 11:03 AM

KPO

Sometimes you own the libs. Sometimes, the libs own you.




It's not personal. It's just war.

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Saturday, August 28, 2010 11:06 AM

KANEMAN


Kaneman's lesson. Frenchwomen are hairy arm-pit and legged whores, they cheat on their small dicked counterparts, they die by the thousands in a heat wave(in a fucking modern city), their food sucks, their accent is hilarious, and they make bad movies. Add that they are fucking cowards and I am spewing cum all over this thread....That they have been cockold-ed by the Muslims in their country....is priceless.....just one girl's opinion.......

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Saturday, August 28, 2010 11:10 AM

ALIASSE


Quote:

Originally posted by kaneman:
Kaneman's lesson. Frenchwomen are hairy arm-pit and legged whores, they cheat on their small dicked counterparts, they die by the thousands in a heat wave(in a fucking modern city), their food sucks, their accent is hilarious, and they make bad movies. Add that they are fucking cowards and I am spewing cum all over this thread....That they have been cockold-ed by the Muslims in their country....is priceless.....just one girl's opinion.......



Well, of course, but I thought all this was too obvieuse to mention...

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Saturday, August 28, 2010 12:59 PM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


Ya left out the part about Bien Dien Phu being the continuation of a long tradition of failing to win wars and having to be bailed out by someone, anyone, else.

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Saturday, August 28, 2010 4:38 PM

FREMDFIRMA


Which is why smarter minds contracted that sorta thing out to the foreign legion, which as a rule kicks some serious ass, or at least used to.

Also, nobody likes the french, even the french mock the french...

But that's all in good fun, they're pretty cool folks, despite Robespierre making it into a nightmare, they found the idea of dispensing with aristocracy and social classes so appealing that when a nation was founded on that concept, they supported it wholeheartedly even against their fellow europeans, and even commisioned and sent a huge statue which eventually became a worldwide icon, funded primarily by "the pennies of the poor" on the strength of their belief in the virtues that icon would stand for.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Liberty

For that alone, I shall always have a resevoir of good will towards the french, however strange that I may find them.

-Frem

PS. This is also why it terribly offends me when anti-immigration or america-firsters use the image of Liberty as a mask upon their viciousness, since she herself is an immigrant, as we all once were.

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Saturday, August 28, 2010 6:39 PM

KANEMAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
Which is why smarter minds contracted that sorta thing out to the foreign legion, which as a rule kicks some serious ass, or at least used to.

Also, nobody likes the french, even the french mock the french...

But that's all in good fun, they're pretty cool folks, despite Robespierre making it into a nightmare, they found the idea of dispensing with aristocracy and social classes so appealing that when a nation was founded on that concept, they supported it wholeheartedly even against their fellow europeans, and even commisioned and sent a huge statue which eventually became a worldwide icon, funded primarily by "the pennies of the poor" on the strength of their belief in the virtues that icon would stand for.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Liberty

For that alone, I shall always have a resevoir of good will towards the french, however strange that I may find them.

-Frem

PS. This is also why it terribly offends me when anti-immigration or america-firsters use the image of Liberty as a mask upon their viciousness, since she herself is an immigrant, as we all once were.



Dude. You have one leg....

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Sunday, August 29, 2010 7:29 AM

ALIASSE


Quote:

Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
(T)hey found the idea of dispensing with aristocracy and social classes so appealing that when a nation was founded on that concept, they supported it wholeheartedly even against their fellow europeans, and even commisioned and sent a huge statue...For that alone, I shall always have a resevoir of good will towards the french, however strange that I may find them.




But I hope that you can appreciate the French for things that aren't to do with the United States, lest you confirm the view I'm forming that fff.net is a not a place for anyone with any understanding of Europe.

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Sunday, August 29, 2010 7:34 AM

ALIASSE


Quote:

Originally posted by NewOldBrownCoat:
Ya left out the part about Bien Dien Phu being the continuation of a long tradition of failing to win wars and having to be bailed out by someone, anyone, else.



You mean the Second World War? Any other examples? This post is not in fact a dig at the French.

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Sunday, August 29, 2010 7:48 AM

JONGSSTRAW


If your day is so boring that you'd think of writing a satire of the French, imagine how boring mine is if I'm responding to it.





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Sunday, August 29, 2010 8:04 AM

ALIASSE


Quite.

This post was prompted by the mind-boggling - from a British person's point of view - response to Peacekeeper's justified attempt at filling in some of the gaps in understanding that prevail on this site. http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=44915 And PN's obsession with Jews and Nazis etc.

And carries on from my more satirical post: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=44964

Just to make absolutely clear: THIS IS NOT A SATIRE OF THE FRENCH! Clue: who makes movies about 'Nam a lot?

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Sunday, August 29, 2010 2:14 PM

FREMDFIRMA


Quote:

Originally posted by Aliasse:
But I hope that you can appreciate the French for things that aren't to do with the United States, lest you confirm the view I'm forming that fff.net is a not a place for anyone with any understanding of Europe.


Well, I've always been big on appreciatin folk for who they are, but given how biased our educational system is, most of the accurate information I know was learned piecemeal from other sources, and I have difficulty understanding the cultural mindset there as well.

Alas that tolerance and understanding don't really seem to be american virtues any more - but you're welcome to expound on french history, culture and the like, just don't expect a lotta appreciation from our resident bigots, is all.

Most of what I do know is about Robespierre, the Reign of Terror, and subsequent mutual history with america, as well as an odd lot of foreign legion history and tradition cause a couple of my ancestors were in the legion as a refuge from the consequences of their own criminal behavior, heh.

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

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