REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Tiger's Sponsors Make Subtle Changes

POSTED BY: RIVERLOVE
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 9, 2009 20:03
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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 2:24 AM

RIVERLOVE



As of yesterday the Tiger "count" stood at 10. His major sponsors have announced they will continue to have him as their spokesperson, however due to recent events some minor changes to the sales pitch will be forthcoming when the "new" Tiger ads hit the airwaves in January:

NIKE
Just do it!... Just get rid of your Blackberry first!

GATORADE
Is it in you? ...No? Call Tiger, he will put it in you!

GILLETTE
The best a man can get!... One clean shave and you'll be in skank heaven.

ACCENTURE
Unleash the Tiger in you!...Relax, we'll manage your money, so you can bang all the bimbos in the world.

BUICK
Drive to perfection!...Unless it's on your own property, and you've got a golf club wrapped around your head.


IF Tiger does indeed come back to the Tour in January, & IF the sponsors stay with him, how could anyone watching not be thinking along the lines expressed above? I think it's 50-50 that either will occur.


TIGER’S BEVY OF BOOTYS:

1.) Rachel Uchitel. The club hostess was the first of the women to be linked to Woods after the National Enquirer reported that she traveled to Australia to be with Woods during a golf tournament there. So far, she has denied the affair.

2.) Jamie Grubbs. The 24-year-old reality show contestant and cocktail waitress claims she carried on a 31-month-long affair with Woods until his crash last month. She offered a Woods voicemail to prove it.

3.) Kalika Moquin. The 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas is reported to have had a brief sexual relationship with Woods. She would neither confirm nor deny the report.

4.) Cori Rist. The 31-year-old swimsuit model reportedly met Woods at a Manhattan club last year before they began a sexual relationship that led to Woods flying her out to various secret locations for hook-ups, and her introducing the golfer to her 7-year-old son.

5.) Jamie Jungers. The 26-year-old, who sold her story to a British newspaper, is a former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie. She said she met Woods in Las Vegas.

6.) Mindy Lawton. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress from Orlando claims she was dumped by Woods in 2007. According to the Post, it was her affair with Woods that was caught on camera by the National Enquirer, when he was snapped dropping her off at her trailer park. The threatening news later led to a Woods Men’s Fitness cover in exchange for the magazine’s silence about the alleged affair, the New York Post reports.

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old from Los Angeles is a former porn star, who has starred in such films as “OMG, Stop Tickling Me” and “Flying Solo 2.” According to the Sun, she has neither confirmed nor denied her affair with Woods.

8.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8. A former cocktail waitress from Orlando, Fla. does want to reveal her identity yet, according to her attorney Michael O’Quinn. But this she has said: at the time the affair allegedly began, she was 20 years old and met Woods at the Roxy in Orlando, where she was a VIP server.

9.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9 is reported to be a “sexy” British TV presenter who was single at the time, but is now married.

10.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10. is reported in a UK paper to be a “sex-addicted cougar.”






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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 2:36 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...


http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/08/tiger.woods.paramedics/index.html

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 3:24 AM

JAYNEZTOWN


media coverage around his house 24/7

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 4:14 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...


Quote:

Originally posted by JaynezTown:
media coverage around his house 24/7



Especially at 2:30 am - that's like the witching hour.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 4:50 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Can you imagine the celebration when he finally dies? It's what everyone seems to be hoping for.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 5:01 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:
Can you imagine the celebration when he finally dies? It's what everyone seems to be hoping for.



Maybe early tomorrow morning, say around 2:30...

Dead? Huh? I'm not picking up on that vibe fwiw, but I'm not watching it that closely - honest. It feels more like people celebrating watching the mighty fall - but that's not so new. Dude is in a serious spiral though, what a mess.

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 6:14 AM

JONGSSTRAW


I'm not sure what to think about this anymore. The story gets more bizarre and explosive every day. I really never thought of golfers as the types to commit these brazen acts of infidelity, what with the checkered pants and all.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 9:10 AM

FREMDFIRMA



None of my damn business.
And frankly I am sick of hearing about it.

-F

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 10:44 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up


Quote:

Originally posted by Fremdfirma:

None of my damn business.
And frankly I am sick of hearing about it.

-F



I'm waiting for the Congressional hearings.

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 12:51 PM

TRAVELER


Quote:

Originally posted by Geezer:
I'm waiting for the Congressional hearings.

LOL

Congressional hearings. Isn't that like asking the fox to keep watch over the hen house.


http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 2:04 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!


I wish the jokes were better. And fwiw, I've noticed that jokes go around about pretty much everything. My favorite was a joke that surfaced after the Rodney King beating: the LAPD's new motto - come to LA and we'll treat you like a king !

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 7:04 PM

DREAMTROVE


Moral to this story: You can cheat on your wife, or teach her how to swing a golf club, but not both.

I'm afraid when you sell yourself to that extent, you've mortgaged yourself, and you have to expect a few bogeys.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 2:38 AM

RIVERLOVE


Quote:

Originally posted by rue:
I wish the jokes were better. And fwiw, I've noticed that jokes go around about pretty much everything. My favorite was a joke that surfaced after the Rodney King beating: the LAPD's new motto - come to LA and we'll treat you like a king !


Rue, sorry you didn't like my Tiger sponsor jokes. I tried to make them relevant and humorous, but apparently not so much. If only I had a staff of writers like Letterman & Leno, then maybe the product might have amused you to some degree. Oh well, I guess I won't think about changing careers any time soon.

That said, the Tiger Count is now up to 12. The last two being a couple more porn actresses. Some here have said they don't understand why this story matters. Heres why, in my opinion:
He is the highest paid athlete on Earth.
He is the most marketed celebrity on Earth.
His life a total lie.
His entire "married with children" act was just a fraud and a marketing ploy to make him seem like a clean-cut regular guy. Tens of millions of golf fans, and non-golf fans alike feel betrayed by the sham of it. Sponsors are starting to drop him, and no commercials with him are being aired. Rumors out there suggest this behavior has been Tiger's real life for a long time, with hundreds of trysts and liasions with prostitutes, porn stars, and waitresses. Yet he was the face and role model that Madison Avenue chose to sell cars, razors, insurance, sports drinks, golf equipment, watches, financial services, etc. etc. And none of this has anything to do with his marraige or his privacy. 90% of his wealth came from endorsements, not actual golf winnings. He's a public figure, and he has betrayed the public's trust. People who are smarter and FUNNIER than me are not going to relent on this story, ever. It will only grow and grow. No figure in memory has fallen so far so fast. People are talking about this, and they want to know how much deeper the scandal will go, and they want to know how he will attempt to return to any measure of his past glory.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 3:10 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Rue, sorry you didn't like my Tiger sponsor jokes. I tried to make them relevant and humorous, but apparently not so much. If only I had a staff of writers like Letterman & Leno, then maybe the product might have amused you to some degree. Oh well, I guess I won't think about changing careers any time soon.



Yeah, that's how those guys got famous. When they first started out, it was their staff of writers that got 'em noticed...


As for him being a role model... Only if you're stupid enough to put an athlete or celebrity on such a pedestal, and hold them up as your idols. If you do that, you get what you deserve. If Tiger Woods was a rapper, nobody would even give a shit who he's screwing. He'd just have more "cred" for banging porn stars.

Tiger's been seen as a role model and held up as the face of golf; you said so yourself. If that's the case, his "fall" is really the fall of the nation, proving that we've become so shallow that we'll buy anything as long as it complies with our preconceived notions. And we'll drop it the second it doesn't.

*I* didn't imbue Tiger with this overarching power as the greatest and highest-paid athlete; that was YOU. I see him not as an idol, not as a role model, but as a guy who hits a golf ball really well, which I consider to be a stupid pastime in the first place. But for some reason, YOU seem to think he really matters, and you hang on every word, waiting to see what's next. Bread and circuses and bright shiny objects...

Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 3:42 AM

RIVERLOVE


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:

As for him being a role model... Only if you're stupid enough to put an athlete or celebrity on such a pedestal, and hold them up as your idols. If you do that, you get what you deserve. If Tiger Woods was a rapper, nobody would even give a shit who he's screwing. He'd just have more "cred" for banging porn stars.

I guess you're just a superior human being who is above the commonality of most people. We mere mortals are often influenced by real role models and/or media-created ones. Congratulations on acheiving Metron status. Tiger was no rap star. I doubt you'd see them sponsoring some of the things Tiger was chosen to represent. It's two different worlds.

Quote:

Tiger's been seen as a role model and held up as the face of golf; you said so yourself. If that's the case, his "fall" is really the fall of the nation, proving that we've become so shallow that we'll buy anything as long as it complies with our preconceived notions. And we'll drop it the second it doesn't.
To deny the role model stature, or make that seem so unusual is a bit condescending and obtuse. And this has nothing to do with the nation per se, unless you analyze all the filthy and disgusting stuff that permeates our culture. Then yes, we're all guilty to some degree.

Quote:

*I* didn't imbue Tiger with this overarching power as the greatest and highest-paid athlete; that was YOU. I see him not as an idol, not as a role model, but as a guy who hits a golf ball really well, which I consider to be a stupid pastime in the first place. But for some reason, YOU seem to think he really matters, and you hang on every word, waiting to see what's next. Bread and circuses and bright shiny objects...

CNN covers it every day and night.
MSNBC's Olbermann is making a new career of it every night. (he's actually hysterically good at it).
Sports radio is all over it every day.
ESPN analyzes it daily.
All over the internet news and blogs.
Newspapers and magazines are following the story as it continues to develop. There are potential legal problems ahead for Tiger, both criminal and civil, which attracts the scrutiny of those that follow the legal system. And on and on. Bread & Circuses for sure, but why you try to demean me for posting about it is suspect. I think it's a sad story, but fascinating none-the-less. Perhaps you're just upset that it's upstaging Pres. Obama's coverage of his urgent initiatives. With Obama's numbers dropping to historic lows, I can understand why many would be upset about Tiger's coverage. I haven't heard Tiger blame George Bush for his troubles yet, so he always has that Obama tactic to fall back on.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 4:52 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...


Come on, this is like fundamental Greek Tragedy:

Definition: Tragedy depicts the downfall of a noble hero or heroine, usually through some combination of hubris, fate, and the will of the gods. The tragic hero's powerful wish to achieve some goal inevitably encounters limits, usually those of human frailty (flaws in reason, hubris, society), the gods (through oracles, prophets, fate), or nature. Aristotle says that the tragic hero should have a flaw and/or make some mistake (hamartia). The hero need not die at the end, but he / she must undergo a change in fortune. "

It's like live story telling - I want to see the whole arc.

Also, If you don't like or appreciate golf or understand the "crucible" of professional athletics, the mental rigors of competition, (the very thing that made him such a unique sports champion), then you are missing the "heroic" part of the tragedy. I can see how it would appear to be just another piece of silly gossip.

It also points out the thing so many of us here agree with: the lie of "celebrity."

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 5:17 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Perhaps you're just upset that it's upstaging Pres. Obama's coverage of his urgent initiatives. With Obama's numbers dropping to historic lows, I can understand why many would be upset about Tiger's coverage. I haven't heard Tiger blame George Bush for his troubles yet, so he always has that Obama tactic to fall back on.



Why would I be upset that this is taking attention away from Obama, if as you say, his poll numbers are so poor? Wouldn't I *want* attention directed elsewhere?

As to blaming Bush, I suppose Obama could always fall back on that tried-and-true Bush-era tactic of blaming Clinton. ;)

If I demean you for idolizing and emulating celebrities, it's only because by proclaiming that you do such things, you show your true shallowness, and that SHOULD be demeaned. You really can strive to be better.

But if you're right that this kind of scandal should be covered ad infinitum, and that it should have real consequences for the transgressor, and that it will have a real and negative impact on the nation, then you'll no doubt agree 100% that John Ensign and Mark Sanford MUST resign immediately, along with Tom Coburn. Right? I mean, these people are supposed to be upholding the law and showing us the way, leading us by example of what's right. Aren't they?

Or are Senators, Governors, and Representatives not role models? Do you find public service to be less noble than selling shaving cream?

Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 5:28 AM

RIVERLOVE


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:
If I demean you for idolizing and emulating celebrities, it's only because by proclaiming that you do such things, you show your true shallowness, and that SHOULD be demeaned. You really can strive to be better.

I have never said that I idolize him or emulate him, so that makes you just a lying asshole, or an outright idiot.

Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:
But if you're right that this kind of scandal should be covered ad infinitum, and that it should have real consequences for the transgressor, and that it will have a real and negative impact on the nation,

I have never said that this scandal will have a negative impact for the nation, so once again you're just a lying asshole, or an outright idiot.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 5:59 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!


The US today - willing to believe anything marketed to us so that we will buy more stuff. That includes Tiger Woods.

Awesome.

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 6:35 AM

JONGSSTRAW


Quote:

Originally posted by rue:

The US today - willing to believe anything marketed to us so that we will buy more stuff. That includes Tiger Woods.



Not all of us are influenced by advertising. I, for one, have NEVER bought a roll of Charmin. And I have yet to re-locate my business to Michigan despite Jeff Daniels' entertaining pitches.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 8:31 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Originally posted by Riverlove:
Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:
If I demean you for idolizing and emulating celebrities, it's only because by proclaiming that you do such things, you show your true shallowness, and that SHOULD be demeaned. You really can strive to be better.

I have never said that I idolize him or emulate him, so that makes you just a lying asshole, or an outright idiot.



So YOU never said it, huh? I note that you conveniently miss the word "IF" in my response to you, so that you can feel justified in your outrage. These are YOUR words, from earlier in this thread (emphasis added by me):

Quote:

His entire "married with children" act was just a fraud and a marketing ploy to make him seem like a clean-cut regular guy. Tens of millions of golf fans, and non-golf fans alike feel betrayed by the sham of it. Sponsors are starting to drop him, and no commercials with him are being aired. Rumors out there suggest this behavior has been Tiger's real life for a long time, with hundreds of trysts and liasions with prostitutes, porn stars, and waitresses. Yet he was the face and role model that Madison Avenue chose to sell cars, razors, insurance, sports drinks, golf equipment, watches, financial services, etc. etc. And none of this has anything to do with his marraige or his privacy. 90% of his wealth came from endorsements, not actual golf winnings. He's a public figure, and he has betrayed the public's trust.


So it was YOU who brought up the whole "role model" thing, not me. If you're not emulating him and idolizing him, then why do you call him a role model?

Quote:


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:
But if you're right that this kind of scandal should be covered ad infinitum, and that it should have real consequences for the transgressor, and that it will have a real and negative impact on the nation,

I have never said that this scandal will have a negative impact for the nation, so once again you're just a lying asshole, or an outright idiot.



Again, you missed the operative "IF" I said "IF YOU'RE RIGHT". You certainly IMPLIED that it will have a negative impact, when you blathered on about the "tens of millions of golf fans" for whom this is a total sham. Or did you mean "sham" in a GOOD way, in it's POSITIVE aspects? :)

And thanks for whipping out the "asshole" namecalling. Seems odd, coming from someone who gets SOOOOOO bent out of shape when she gets called a cunt. Double standard much?

Quote:

Posted by Kwicko:
Tiger's been seen as a role model and held up as the face of golf; you said so yourself. If that's the case, his "fall" is really the fall of the nation, proving that we've become so shallow that we'll buy anything as long as it complies with our preconceived notions. And we'll drop it the second it doesn't.

*I* didn't imbue Tiger with this overarching power as the greatest and highest-paid athlete; that was YOU. I see him not as an idol, not as a role model, but as a guy who hits a golf ball really well, which I consider to be a stupid pastime in the first place. But for some reason, YOU seem to think he really matters, and you hang on every word, waiting to see what's next. Bread and circuses and bright shiny objects...



Quote:

Posted by Riverlove:
I guess you're just a superior human being who is above the commonality of most people. We mere mortals are often influenced by real role models and/or media-created ones. Congratulations on acheiving Metron status.



Gosh, you weren't being condescending and obtuse, were you? ;)

Quote:

To deny the role model stature, or make that seem so unusual is a bit condescending and obtuse. And this has nothing to do with the nation per se, unless you analyze all the filthy and disgusting stuff that permeates our culture. Then yes, we're all guilty to some degree.




Okay, you just got finished calling me an asshole for saying that you held Tiger up as a role model. And then you got snarky when I said that I *DON'T* hold him as a role model, and here you are, holding him up as a fucking ROLE MODEL. Again, are these or are these not YOUR words? And you say it has nothing to do with "the nation per se", just "tens of millions of golfers and millions of non-golfers." And Madison Avenue. Curious word choices you make....

Quote:


CNN covers it every day and night.
MSNBC's Olbermann is making a new career of it every night. (he's actually hysterically good at it).
Sports radio is all over it every day.
ESPN analyzes it daily.
All over the internet news and blogs.
Newspapers and magazines are following the story as it continues to develop. There are potential legal problems ahead for Tiger, both criminal and civil, which attracts the scrutiny of those that follow the legal system. And on and on.



Then that would make Balloon Boy a role model, would it not?


Quote:

Bread & Circuses for sure, but why you try to demean me for posting about it is suspect.


You call me a lying asshole, and *I'M* the demeaning one. Cute.


Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 12:07 PM

CITIZEN


Quote:

Originally posted by traveler:
Congressional hearings. Isn't that like asking the fox to keep watch over the hen house.


Or Fox to ensure journalistic integrity.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 1:55 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
Quote:

Originally posted by traveler:
Congressional hearings. Isn't that like asking the fox to keep watch over the hen house.


Or Fox to ensure journalistic integrity.








Good to see ya around, Cit - we've missed you. 'Rappy missed you most of all. ;)

Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 5:50 PM

DREAMTROVE


Alas, in spite of the wild lifestyle, Tiger is much too much of a square to capitalize on this situation.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking, single swedish model, with a mean golf swing.

Come on, seriously, grab a club and parry. ;)

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 6:07 PM

CHRISISALL


Quote:

Originally posted by Riverlove:
I guess you're just a superior human being who is above the commonality of most people. We mere mortals are often influenced by real role models and/or media-created ones.


Silly silly British man.


The laughing Chrisisall

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 7:02 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Originally posted by dreamtrove:
Alas, in spite of the wild lifestyle, Tiger is much too much of a square to capitalize on this situation.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking, single swedish model, with a mean golf swing.

Come on, seriously, grab a club and parry. ;)




Better yet, she's newly-single AND she's looking for REVENGE SEX! Go get 'er, Dream. She needs you. :)

And yes, Tiger really SHOULD roll with it, and embrace it. Show up at the next tournament with a dozen hot floozies in his entourage, and tell Phil Mickelson and John Daly, "That's how I roll, bitches!"

Instead, the dude does commercials for BUICK, of all things. Even my granddad knew Buicks were uncool.

Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 8:03 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:

And yes, Tiger really SHOULD roll with it, and embrace it. Show up at the next tournament with a dozen hot floozies in his entourage, and tell Phil Mickelson and John Daly, "That's how I roll, bitches!"



Trojan Man!

"When you bang 10 hos besides yo wife, you gotta get The THAIger TM. Keeps da bitches from goin ghetto and tee off on yo ass! I know, cause I'm a Playa (Buckwheat smile)."
-THAIger Woods, Trojan Man advert

Quote:

Tiger Woods' alleged mistress #1 -- Rachel Uchitel -- has flipped out after learning how many women now claim to have had unprotected sex with Tiger -- and she is telling friends she will get screened for sexually transmitted diseases, stat. In short, she's doing the right thing. Friends say Rachel is particularly upset that Tiger allegedly slept with two porn stars.

www.tmz.com/#ixzz0ZGJ26mLS




[insert clever photochop here]

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