Theatre of the Absurd at the booth by Fremdfirma

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Theatre of the Absurd at the booth

POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 11, 2008 14:46
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VIEWED: 1907
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:19 AM

Hoo boy, this is nuts.

Ok, so go I vote, and of course, as has been mentioned here a time or two, I'm ON the freakin ballot, for city council, despite the fact that I sure as bloody hell don't want the job, nor am I in any way qualified for it, technically.

I get down to that section somewhere in the middle of the usual pack of "let's spend more of your money to enrich my brothers contracting company" proposals since they're divided state and local, and sure enough, against all my wishes and protestations, there it is... FUCK.

And not even the decency to list me as Independant, nope, Anarchist, right on the ballot.. *groan*

Was kinda hopin a technicality or somesuch would get me outta this, but nnoooooo... argh.

So I look both ways to make sure no one's peeking... and vote against myself, small hope is better than none, right ?

Besides, Bugs Bunny is prolly more qualified than I am, meh.
(Like I'd vote FOR any of the current berks ? oh hell no.)

So I stick it in the old machine and head out the door, and then it gets surreal.

Now look, I been workin two jobs, nights, and tryin to pack shit up to move down the road a little ways, so obviously my attention has been a little less focused on this issue, right ?

And all imma thinkin about is gettin back here and goin to sleep.

And Lo and Behold, there at the required distance from the polling center, is a crowd of well wishers... with. freakin. anarchist. campaign. signs.

Momentary BSOD in the head there, just too damn early in the friggin morning to be wrappin my head around THAT concept, much less trying to make sense of it.

Apparently some of my "socrates club" kids from the high school decided to actually *campaign* in my behalf, complete with signs and buttons, and heaven knows what else...

You know, I shoulda known better than to have suggested Stainless Steel Rat for President as reading material after the idea to stick me on the council was bandied about and I had difficulty explaining how those things worked.

What's even worse is the quote they've been using for a campaign slogan.
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." - H. L. Mencken

Oh, yeah, THAT is gonna make a wave or two, given that's prettymuch what they want me to do to these berks, in a political sense.

I wasn't so surprised at the high schoolers, as much as downright shocked at the collection of local businessmen, a bunch of fairly conservative, straight laced folk, standing there ALSO holding little black flags.

This whole damn past month has been surreal, it's like I've walked into the Twilight Zone or something, bad enough to use a process wholeheartedly scorned by any Anarchist worth a damn to ELECT one to a public office, but to run a CAMPAIGN on it ?

And *grroooaaan*, worse, one that's almost a foregone conclusion at that cause tis podunk town is so small ?

I really don't want the hassle, ain't anywhere near qualified for the job, but if "they the people" want me to dump sand in the city councils gears THAT badly, well, imma do it - some of them have already decided to move out of town and good riddance, which leaves the remainder to find qualified folks for the job, and has left yours truly as the tiebreak vote on em too.

Fun fun fun, I could use a little sympathy here, cause I sure ain't gettin none from the townies - what kind of a maniac volunteers for public office, is all that's running through my mind right now.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:28 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Oh boo-fuckin-hoo

lol

Good luck Frem.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:43 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up

Only people who don't want to be elected should be elected. Good (or maybe bad) luck to ya.

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 6:25 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

What a cool thing to have happen.

Anyway --- the joke is about the presidential election but hey, it can go for you too - as winner, will you demand a recount ?

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 7:16 AM

WASHNWEAR

Congrats/condolences, Frem - but I hope you'll forgive me saying that I'm smellin' a whole lotta "whip me, beat me, make me right bad checks" coming off your protestations....the old repulsion-attraction of the 4-car pile-up. Were I in your shoes I'm pretty sure that's the way I'd feel. Oh Lord, please take this cup from me! But wait - lemme have one little sip...

I hope you get it - if only because I think your adventures on the city council will make for especially entertaining reading...for those NOT in your line of fire, anyway...

It was like that when we got here!

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 2:57 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
the old repulsion-attraction of the 4-car pile-up.

More like a Thirty Xanatos Pileup...
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThirtyXanatosPileup

Since this is a very local election in a podunk little town, I'll prolly know in about half an hour, or rather, confirm the inevitable, glarg.

Gonna be the height of hilarity tomorrow mornin, cause I got a secret weapon of epic proportions, we're talkin death star kind of sneak attack, baby.

-F

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 3:40 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Will you tell us about it when you unleash the death-star???

---------------------------------
VOTE FOF FREM!

ENOUGH OF THE SAME-OLD SAME-OLD!

YEEE HAAAAW!!!!

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 3:47 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

You go tear 'em a new one, Frem!

Mike

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:46 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Ha!

Go get em.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 6:42 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

SOOOOO, Frem?

Did you win? Or are you going to let us just sit here and twist?

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 6:49 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
SOOOOO, Frem?

Did you win? Or are you going to let us just sit here and twist?

Oh crap. They got him workin' already....

Chrisisall

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:04 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Gimme a sec, I wrote it all down in this PDA and imma figuring out how to port the file to notepad, I'm not QUITE a luddite, but still...

Pounding on it won't help tho, will it ?

-F

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:05 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Well, we all know how it went, right ?
Like I said, a foregone conclusion, it wasn't even CLOSE - even funnier is when the one vote for "Bugs Bunny" gets tallied and everyone stares at ME...

Anyhows...

So, I take a nap, wake up this mornin, and have me a nice hearty breakfast of sausage, eggs, and Obama Waffles (they ain't half bad for something intended as joke, surprisingly) with a mug of coffee to wash it down.

And then, reading this mornings local paper (owned, of course, by one of the remaining councilfolk) and about blew that coffee right out my nose laughing at this mornings editorial flaming me - good stuff, all of it, they made me sound like something out of a bad sci-fi novel, what with the "glaring eyes" and "feral smile" and my personal favorite "grasping claws, scrabbling for the reins of power".

Good stuff all around, with a healthy dose of fire and brimstone since not being Christian, I'm one of those "other people", meh heh heh.

So, I finish breakfast, make a call, and grab my jacket and totebag...

Collect my volunteers at the door, two of the high schoolers who have kindly donated their time to record audio and video of council meetings for the highschools public access channel, which has been suffering a dearth of content anyhow in recent months.

And away we go, into the lions den with a norelco in hand and wicked intentions.

First things first "I think we should go over the books".

They expected this, and of course, a nice..erm.. FRESH set of books sitting there on the end of the table, hell I bet the ink isn't even dry yet and someone worked through the night.

A masterpiece, I'm sure, just enough little minor things to be really really convincing and all four of em sittin there with false contrite facades over a foundation of smugness.

Oh how the mighty...

"Not those books, THESE books." - As I pull them from the totebag, y'all remember me saying that I knew where they kept em, right ?
And while they were all busy counting the votes last night...

If you listened really hard, you might just catch the quadruple thump of four bricks being shat, right about then.

And were it not for the kids behind me with the camera, they might be gettin some.... IDEAS, right about now, so I drop the other shoe, always kick em when they're down, rules of the game, yanno ?

"And you owe me a toner cartridge, by the way."

And so they wanna discuss it PRIVATELY now, ok, yeah, sure - I tell my little media crew to go outside for a bit and smoke em if they got em, and then discreetely engage the wireless mic - bunch of stinking amateurs.
(They also failed to note that at any time, I never used or encumbered my left hand, but they don't think like that anyways.)

And so, about twenty minutes later, the city is almost $40,000.00USD richer, and we didn't even need a millage to do it, how nice is that ?

That stupid sports car the police dept got stays though, we'd never get enough of the money back at this point to make it worth selling off, but any further purchases of that nature will require unanimous council approval, which puts a stop to that, handily, and their little petty cash slush fund party is over too, as they must now account in writing with recipt, any payout from it.

Didn't get to drug test the department, they traded that one for the credit cards, no more of the city council using untracked credit cards at 23% interest and letting the city eat the bite - that was walters doing anyway since he had a stake in the issuing bank.

From now on they either fill out and file a proper request for expenditure, or they pay on their own dime and then the council as a whole decides whether to reimburse or not.

Man I wanted to put them cops to the test though, since I *know* at least a couple would fail it, but I settled for putting the credit cards in the shredder.

They rather conveniently blamed the now long gone members for the idiocy of paying almost $100K for an F-150 plowtruck and a copy machine, since of course there's no paper trail, but we agreed that all further "large items" will be put up for competative bid.

That was about as far as we got, since one of em had a doctors appointment.

Wouldn't none of em but one shake hands with me after that, and he took his ring off before he did, so I told him to count his fingers before he left, why didn't he, make sure and all that...

They're pissed, seriously, REALLY pissed, now - I just got in their faces like no one in their life probably has, and they're just not good enough politicians to hide it, I wouldn't be surprised if they were already planning to knock me off somehow, and for a fact they're gonna be stirring up shit at the police dept, but dumb as they otherwise might be, the local PD isn't gonna make too many waves since they get to keep the sports car, and a POed council member has just too many ways to make them miserable, most of which I have NOT done cause I wanna see if they can clean up their act without needing to resort to such measures.

I stopped by the local papers office on the way back, after sending my teen paparrazi back to school (they're gettin class credits for this as "journalism") and gave them a few tips on how to vilify me even better, grinning all the while.

They're SO gonna try to kill me - but they're just so far out of their league, all they're gonna do is trip over each others stupid plans, and sure as day follows dawn, within a week, each one is going to try to privately sell the others out to me to get in my good graces.

Why on EARTH do people in their right mind volunteer for this sort of headache ?!

Anyone who WANTS to run for public office... shouldn't be allowed to.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:11 AM

BLUESUNCOMPANYMAN

In the days of our founders, there was a real truoble wrapped around getting anyone to serve in many offices. The orginal reason that US congressmen are compensated was because in the late 1700's, nobody wanted to serve since it took time away from businesses/farms. Nowadays, most people in congress are wealthy and drawn to the power gained by the positions. $$$ is kinda irrelivant.

I guess my point is this: The people who are best suited for offices are usually the ones who don't want the job. Those that seek the power are usually not good for the system.

Do not fear me. Our's is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:12 AM

CHRISISALL

You gotta write this all down for a memoir, sell it, then decide who plays you in the movie version- this is too good not to ultimately make a buck off of.

IMOisall

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:18 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Kevin Spacey (Verbal Kint aka Keyzer Soze) is about the only one who comes to mind as able to pull that off...

I just hope I don't end up like Bulworth.

And that'll be all for a bit, I gotta migraine and the pills for that gonna take me outta action till I gotta go lay out the rounds and set up keys for a security contract tonight.

-F

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:35 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Damn Frem,

I want to be like YOU when I grow up...

lol

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 8:31 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

In all seriousness tho..

Fuckin kneecap them.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 9:20 AM

KWICKO

Frem, you are my idol!

You give an old man hope that maybe, just maybe, we can still salvage this country - or at least, one little corner of it.

Mike

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 10:15 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up

Fremd is now The Man? What's this world coming to?

Congrats, man. Sounds like you'll have fun tossing the wooden shoes into the machinery. Got any links to that local paper? I'd like to get a chuckle from the vilification.

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 11:46 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

""glaring eyes" and "feral smile" and my personal favorite "grasping claws, scrabbling for the reins of power"" snort - my preciousssss ...

Give 'em hell Frem !

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 3:41 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Bah, too podunk a town for that, Geeze - they don't even know how to work a fax machine, and I thought *I* was a friggin luddite.

The high school paper's gonna be running their own editorial bit tomorrow - "Accountability is not a dirty word." - the draft looked pretty good, far as I could tell.

Surprised no one's tried bribery yet, guess they ain't quite THAT stupid.

-F

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 3:54 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:
"Not those books, THESE books." - As I pull them from the totebag, y'all remember me saying that I knew where they kept em, right ?
And while they were all busy counting the votes last night...

If you listened really hard, you might just catch the quadruple thump of four bricks being shat, right about then.

Wow. You're giving me ideas, man. I might run for office some day!

---------------------------------
Let's party like its 1929.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 5:46 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Come on Frem, youve gotta do better than that.

Lol

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 9:15 AM

ERIC

That's it, I'm now a registered Fremocrat.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 9:37 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Frem,

As a propoganda minister, I tend to take your tales with a grain of salt.

However, as Mulder would say, 'I want to believe".

So around these parts, you will need to deliver proof of said actions.

Scan the damn article. Black out your name and where its coming from, if you must.

But proof, Frem.

We need it.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 3:50 PM

FREMDFIRMA

And then have someone run a text match and next thing I know I got legal hassles from the jackbooted horde I'm so fond of kicking in the teeth ?

Wulf, I learned my lesson back in 96 when some dickhead pissed over a mere internet spat convinced AOL he was an attorney and trying to contact me as next of kin for a deceased family member, and they handed him my friggin address....

And he tried to burn my goddamn house down, DID set it on fire, and if one of the neighbors hadn't been quick in helping out with a garden hose, the damage might have been worse than it was.

The landlord was none too pleased and chose not to renew the lease, which caused me a lot of hassle too.

Not to mention being outright hunted by some of the companies affiliated with Landslide, Inc. after Marcus Lawson sent Tom Reedy down for 1400 years consecutive and it looked like everyone with their fingers in that pie was gonna burn the same way - hell, even Parry Aftab, one of the so called "good guys" tried to sell me out to the bastards.

Ergo, I am not exactly keen of the idea of laying my nuts on the table of the public internet when there's plenty of folks standing around with a hammer, yes ?

I don't see this fiasco lasting much longer anyway, the lady councilmember responsible for that double set of books resigned today, and none of the other three will even speak to me, much less show up and are probably exploring legal options to cause me no end of hassle, not to mention they're already screaming for a recall which isn't gonna happen - and I had to dump a nice potential contract today due to a borderline conflict of interest, which sorely pisses me off cause I coulda used the money, as this damn position is a mere token paid out at under 2K a year for the most part.

The absolute worst headache is if the remainder chose to resign en-masse, we're pretty fucked cause I got no idea how to run this place, not that I think it needs it, but if THAT happens imma be too damn busy to discuss it, since the last three folks they tried to put in charge ran for cover once they realized how dirty the mess is here.

Remember me sayin folk should be careful what they wished for ? well, they wanted these folk run outta town, and looks like they'll get it, but where the hell does that leave ME but holding the bag of a job I simply do not have the education and background to freakin DO even if I wanted to, which I don't.

So tomorrow imma have a little "chat" with the local business owners who got me into this mess, they damn well better have a plan B, cause in less than three days it's all gone to hell in a handbasket, which I TOLD them would happen, but no one never listens to me, of course - they expected the damn fools to just shut up, sit down and behave, after years of no accountability and sucking on the public tit, yeah right, like it was gonna happen that way.

The only bright spot is that we're not nearly as broke or in debt as originally assumed, and can maybe, just MAYBE squeak this one out without a tax millage, IF we can find an honest contractor capable of doing some roadwork within the budget we have for that, which isn't too damn likely cause anyone with that scale of operations isn't gonna be too interested in a puny little job like this when they can get the mad bucks from working for the state where they won't have to deal with someone hovering over them and preventing them from grafting themelves nice chunky bonuses.

Oh yes, and the fallout is startin to come clear to some of these folk down the kickback chain, and it's lookin pretty sure that I ain't exactly gonna be welcome around here once the largess that's been trickling down to some folk dries up, a bit of cause and effect they didn't put a mind to before they put pen to paper in the voting booth.

This is why I didn't want it, I thought it through beforehand and none of the options looked very nice, but be damned if I was gonna let that stop me from walkin it to them over some of the shit they've pulled while jacking my property taxes to cover it - or rather, her property taxes cause ya might ponder dealing with a marriage sans paper coming apart right in the middle of all this mess, over the fact that I cannot financially compete with the tax bite anymore and she wants a family I cannot provide.

If I ever doubted my choice to be an Anarchist, this wonderful little disaster would put paid to that, our entire political system is a fucking load of shit from top to bottom, as is just NOT fixable from within the system due to it's very nature - and my presence was the local equivalent of simply lobbing a grenade in the room and quietly shutting the door, it might have solved the problem temporarily, but it leaves one holy hell of a mess to clean up, and the very nature of the system is gonna require replacing these weenies with folk every bit as susceptible to corruption, who will no doubt in their own time fall to it.

So much easier to go along to get along, to play ball, to take your cut and look the other way, and I just can't do that, and now, imma pay the price our sociopathic society and political structure extracts for that lack of cooperation, simply cause I chose to take a moral stand - which while initially honored, is probably at the end of it gonna get me run out of town faster than the creeps they set me up against.

And this folks, is WHY I am an Anarchist, and for the love o mercy I don't need the hassle of some quickwitted internet junkie causing me problems on top of it, were I damned fool enough to paint em a bullseye.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 4:04 PM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

Few people are bold enough to live by their ideals. Fewer people are fortunate enough to be able to change the world in any significant way. You may only have influence over a postage-stamp sized piece of the world, but you've licked it and put your thumb down on it. Now things take a life of their own as the proverbial package trucks off to points unknown. Crazy, stressful, wild times await.

Who knows... It may even kill you... But who among us, when death finally comes, wouldn't like to say we died with Honor?

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 4:25 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Shit Anthony, had I any real choice about the matter, I'd be ON the package truck, but my ethics just won't let me do it - I started writing out a resignation and just... couldn't... do it, and don't even really fully understand why.

I am, however, forcibly reminded of General Cobalt, from Sailor Nothing...

Goddamn, it's almost eerie, isn't it ?
http://www.pixelscapes.com/sailornothing/nothing5cobalt.html

And he's one of the BAD guys...

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 6:00 PM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Frem,

Fair enough.

Sorry I asked.

And,

Good Job.

Try to keep up the good fight.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 6:05 PM

FREMDFIRMA

I intend to, for as long I can grit my teeth and stand it - hopefully the business owners had some kind of backup plan for this eventuality, often as I pointed it out to them...

-F

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Thursday, November 6, 2008 6:22 PM

KWICKO

Frem: Sadly, it seems that you ARE the backup plan, and that's as far ahead as they thought.

Why is it that no government - at any level - ever seems to have a Department of "And Then What Happens?" ? It really would suit us well to ASK the goddam questions BEFORE we just jump into the fire, eh?

You're an honorable man, and I'm sure you'll acquit yourself honorably. Those that wanted the bring in the meanest S.O.B. in the county are probably NOT going to behave honorably, though. They wanted a right bastard to run the other bastards out of town, and never considered that at some point, a right bastard with a sense of honor will invariably turn against their dishonorable intentions.

Keep givin' 'em hell.

Mike

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Friday, November 7, 2008 4:14 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Ayep, indeed they DID have a plan B, and I rather highly suspect this was actually plan A all along and they ain't bein not quite honest about it...

So they go over it with me, they smile, I smile, we all know how it's gonna go...
(right, suuure buddy, whatever.)

So I get home, cut loose a shriek of frustrated rage and decide to work on packing my books, after of course bouncing them off the back wall to get it out of my system...

Chess piece, mere pawn, cats paw even! like hell, and I note for the record that cats, and their paws, are natural anarchists and have this way of doing their own thing irrespective of what anyone ELSE desires, Grrrr!

WHAM, Cook, you suck, I can write better, Fawkes WHACK, snorefest, Feist, SLAM, shoulda stopped at Silverthorn, Drake, BANG, whatever in hell possessed you to try and sequelize Cross The Stars?, Pendleton CRACK, shoulda stopped at twenty-five, Jordan BANG, YOU shoulda stopped at three, Martin, THWACK, where's my next book asshole?, Chrichton I do NOT throw, out of respect for the recently departed - mind, I've met Jordan and Martin, walked out on the former in the middle of his nasty little this is how you pronounce the names of MY characters and by the way I don't give a shit what you think speech he gave at a bookstore in Ohio... and cornered the latter at a convention (before he got stuck in the elevator) and asked him pointblank why he felt the need to explain everything repeatedly from multiple points of view, was he paid by the word or what ?
He took it well, and is far more reasonable and personable than Jordan...

Anyhow ire vented for the moment, I start laughing as I ponder just how MANY ways their little plan can go abysmally wrong dependant as it is on their total misunderstanding of the motivations and intentions of it's linchpin component.

Contrary to popular belief, Anarchists do not live only to sow chaos and destruction, nor are they hostile and malicious without particular reason to be so - the local businessfolk have gravely failed to comprehend this and it's going to boomerang on them quite soon in ways they're unlikely to expect.

I won't give away any of the dastardly plot just yet (mainly cause I'm still working on it!) but as it comes to fruition I'll share, not much happening today other than uncooking the books with the help of a hotel accountant who owes me big for getting his stalker ex put in the funhouse where she belonged (even BEFORE he started dating her, you ask me), and doling out the dosh to the folks who work for the city proper.

This is either an Indy Ploy or Xanatos Speed Chess, but the chances of any pack of political amateurs from this podunk little burg at beating an Anarchist at thinking on the fly are pretty slim, especially when he ain't quuuuite figured it out hisself.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IndyPloy
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosSpeedChess

One thing of this is true, ain't not a one of em been honest with me cept my socrates club, but I rather did expect that, just not so very quickly.

I do this *right*, I can get the job done and walk away from it before the inevitable pileup, that security contract is still up for bid and if I can dump this conflict of interest hangin around my neck like a goddamn millstone, I can maybe still bag it up and won't that be a fine kettle of fish for dinner.

Speakin o which, you shoulda seen what these shitheels have been billing the city for lunch! - me, I had a Meijers brand microwave sausage & pancakes, not bad eatin for the 79 cents I paid for it, which I did NOT bill to the city, thankeeverramuch.

And so, time to dole out the dosh with miserly hand and appropriately sour face, so that no one on the rolls gets any ideas...

-Frem

PS - Kinda funny you should say that, since for most of my paperless marriage, in essence, my primary FUNCTION has indeed been.. "What if?".

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Friday, November 7, 2008 4:19 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Oh yes, gotta throw it in real quick before I skitter back out of here.

OH SO appropriate commentary to the moment...

John McClane: I know what I'm doing.
Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing!

-F

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Monday, November 10, 2008 2:39 AM

FREMDFIRMA

T minus 21 minutes, tick, tick, tick...
*plays mission impossible theme*

-F

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Monday, November 10, 2008 6:19 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

So, what happened?

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Monday, November 10, 2008 6:56 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

If you're gonna go and vanish, I hope you left instructions with someone...

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

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Monday, November 10, 2008 5:31 PM

FREMDFIRMA

To quote Mal,
"Yep, that went well..."

The rest of em did in fact resign this morning, which was helped along over the weekend by subtle encouragement to do so in exchange for not pressing criminal charges over those two sets of books, which damn well could have happened, but would neither have gotten the money back nor would have solved anything - just a waste of time and resources since if it was pushed, probation and a fine would be about as much as the local courts would do, and none of that fine would come back to our coffers anyway.

So, best to be rid of them quick and clean and get to the problem at hand.

Being the only remaining councilmember at that point, technically I *have* to appoint some folk temporarily to fill it out until the next time we vote on something, right ?

Only, the way they worded it was as a guideline, damn fools never gave it any legal teeth since they never expected that to happen, and were I inclined to do so, I coulda seriously misused that - a lotta folk would have, but one thing about Anarchists is that they have no interest in running folks lives for them, even if... no ESPECIALLY if, those folk are beggin em to do so.

Hell, if I wanted to be REAL mean, I coulda quit right then and really let them swing, cause if there's no one left to sign the paperwork this place would come to a crashing halt in a big damn hurry - and they likely would have run right to the bastards I just got rid of, wouldn't they ?

So, yeah, I gotta appoint some folk...

And as you can imagine, the local businessfolk who put me up to this in the first place had some ideas who they should be, right ?

Now, for a fact, like Geezer said, anyone who WANTS this job shouldn't have it, and I suspect this little charade was in truth an attempt to sidestep the elections process cause they would not have won, the locals do not trust them any more than the set of goons I just sent packin, right ?

Get me to clean house and then set THEM up so they can get their own graft and corruption going ?

And what, pray tell, do you think *I* thought of that idea - I am NOT stupid, folks, for all that I can play a good game of it at times to bait people.

They figured I'd have a little fun causing chaos and destruction, get bored and hand it over to them, a nasty little child done playing with the new toy.

They sorely misunderstood who and what they were dealing with.

And so, yes, I *DID* appoint some folk, and the only local business owner was the guy who owns the local bar, who is NOT part of their little clique and has a hard-on for the local PD over being shaken down and hassled all the time whenever they get bored.

Bastard cussed me out for near ten minutes on the phone too, took me half an hour to talk him into grudging acceptance, and the harder he wriggled on the hook, the more convinced I was that I picked the right guy.

Pulled in the local librarian too, she's got a background in economics with degrees and all, which is maybe a bit light for the job but she's quite smart, and as long as she is sittin on the council it's unlikely they're going to demolish her library to put a Krogers there - like I didn't know about that little plan given it was the "old gaurd" blocking it cause they didn't get a cut that set some of these business folk against em in the first place.

That was more of a beg-n-wheedle, cause she's kinda sweet on me and we both value that library and it's pathetic little selection of non-offensive, politically neutral books cause it's all we really got.

My neighbor was the easiest, his first words when he picked up the phone were "You son of a bitch, I KNEW this was coming!", but he also knows as well as I do that the alternatives suck as long as we're stuck between two fairly corrupt cliques, and lo and behold, the stoneheaded bastard has an MBA, which means he CAN do this job, hell of a lot better than me, and I guilt tripped the hell of him about it too.

The worst case was another local businessman, who runs the mini-mart at the south end of town, who has taken no end of shit for his ethnicity in this podunk damn near all-white burg where DWB is practially a stoning offense and has a strong hostility towards the clique that got me into this cause they've been trying to run him out of business since he took the mini-mart over a couple years ago - he's a fairly reasonable dude but his wife... isn't.

I actually had to go down there cause she pulled the phone cord out of the wall, and wow, now I feel sorry for him, DAMN she's a terror when she's mad.

Couldn't understand a word of it, but she was layin it down heavy enough, and loud enough (she's like a damn banshee, I swear!) to draw the local squaddie from across the street to sit in the parking lot and watch in case it got out of hand, and the presence of the local PD didn't help her mood one bit, nope.

Especially since they were laughing, the bastards - I guess it was funny, from a distance, me being all of five foot six and her little five foot nothing all up in my face howling like a teensy pissed off valkyrie, shit-fire folks, if we wanted to run the Taliban into the hills we shoulda sent HER, not the freakin army.. *twitch*.

We finally got her to chill out, she does speak english but I am just as happy not knowin what she was yowling at me - apparently she took me as wanting him on the council (a shit job that pays less than 2k a year for expenses only) INSTEAD of running his business, which is what set that little tirade off.

I was sorely, sorely tempted to appoint her instead, you know I was..

(Just imagine the next time someone suggested raising HER property taxes?!)

He's not real happy about being put in this position, but he is very protective of his business and strangely enough, our community in spite of the flak he's taken - he's a pretty scrupulous guy cause of his own beliefs (Pashtunwali) and thus finds the local corruption offensive - of course, he confided in me that he worries that HE will become corrupt by temptation, something no man is immune to.

I told him as long as he's actually worried about it, he's better off than those who didn't, and besides, his wife would kick his ass, something we both got much amusement out of.
(Did I mention she's freakin scary when she's mad ?)

So I get all the paperwork and whatnot covered, and then hand over my resignation and prepare to make tracks, only to have it stuffed in the shredder by the bar owner, who tells me in no uncertain terms that if they let ME quit, we'll all be tarred and feathered if not lynched, dammit.

So, for the time being we have a council, unhappy, not really willing, and barely in any kind of agreement on anything other than not wanting either of those cliques occupying this office - what the librarian calls the Sumo defense, just sit there and dare them to find a lever big enough to move you.

Reaction from the locals seems to be mostly laughing up their sleeves, folks figured they would get the business clique, and more corruption, just a bit less of it, and now it's come clear they'll be stuck with neither one - other than the folks down the line of graft largess, who are startin to get pissed, most of the locals are not at all that displeased with matters as they currently stand, although there's obviously concern about professional qualifications.

We're under budget now, actually running towards a slight surplus if we can just find a contractor to fix one mile of street while laying a new water main under it within our means - going to put that on my neighbor, an MBA's prolly gonna have a better approach than "Yo, hey, can we get a quote on a job from you guys ?" which is about what I would do, meh.

I figure it won't take too long before those local business folk who just watched their plan explode in their faces either try to round up enough support for a recall (unlikely, long as we don't screw up big) or to run for council themselves, which they're completely welcome to do if they can get enough folk to sign em on the ballot.

Sorry for takin so long to update, but I work nights too and was completely wiped out after that mess, and have to be back off to work in about 40 some odd minutes here.

This job... sucks, believe it.
There's also some stuff I ain't mentioning, mind - but it's very unlikely someone is gonna pull a fast one without me noticing at this point, k?

-Frem
PS - Did that too, Anthony, just in case.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008 3:38 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Ok, all jokes aside...(and I apologize for not following along from earlier), but how did you get into this situation in the first place? Also, any advice or sites for someone who wants to get into the City Council?

The folks around these parts have been messing up big and need a reminder too of who they answer to.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008 1:33 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Also, any advice or sites for someone who wants to get into the City Council?

Yeah.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

Get help, cause yer either a crook, a masochist, or insane.

In all seriousness though ?

What started this, would have be partly my nature - by now you've noticed when everyone else says "Someone should do something!"...

MY first thought is usually "Well, fuck, I'm somebody, right?".

Of course in my youth that 'something' was usually something along the lines of finding which ass was most at fault and jamming a boot up it - although often quite satisfying, it rarely solves the problem, alas.

I usually act by proxy these days, even locally, being passionately antisocial and having no great liking for humans and their stupid petty personal politics, cliques and other ridiculous dumbass shit I have no taste or patience for, right ?

But there's also the fact that I don't like being pushed, and will push back, hard, fast, and with substantial escalation to every blow, the Ender Wiggin strategy, put PAID to it, make SURE.

So when the idea was floated to give the council a blank check to build a new school not even in our district, with a corresponding exponential escalation of our property taxes, my first instinct was to go across the street and do some "wall to wall counselling", but that wouldn't have solved nothin.

So when I find out they're holding a meeting about it, I figure to crash it.
Only, they'd moved it, AND had chained the doors shut with security to keep the public OUT of this "public" meeting, right ?

Well, you know how it goes, you push me, I push right back - so I DID crash their meeting, and having investigated first, had a damned lot of dirt to spill, and spill it I did, only realising about halfway in that this is being carried on our local public access channel, hoo boy.

And matters kinda took a life of their own from there, since in the past couple years folks have realized that they CAN stand up to these bastards, but the problems come from not being able to replace them with anything better - if all you're gonna do is replace one crook for another, why bother, right ?

Also helps that in certain circles of the small engine community, my word alone is as solid as gold bullion, to the point of suppliers willing to ship the parts without askin for $$$ up front cause they *know* I'm good for it - and that word carries better than any written warranty on the work you could ask for.

So the locals see a guy with an iron solid rep handing the council their ass, and it occured to them that perhaps they had an option, while the local business owners pondered it with less noble intentions, but the same general theme, and the next thing I know, I got folk shoving me into a position I never wanted as a lever to oust a corrupt little cartel everyone wants gone...

And THEN, out went the leader, chairman, whatever the hell they call the head boss of the city council, and in spite of doin it by proxy no one around here believes I had nothing to do with it even if there isn't any proof of nothin.

Followed on by the snow shovel incident, and the obvious fact that the bastards had begun to actually fear me...

It wasn't my intention to play to the hero-myth cause I really hate the whole damned concept, but that is how it played out and lots of these folk did not really think it through...

No it's turned out on average OK so far, but the folks no longer getting a cut of graft are eventually gonna get pissed about it, the business owners and former council have been rather ominously silent, and it's a fair bet that main street ain't gonna get fixed any time soon, not on the budget we have for it - so eventually the locals are gonna figure out that their noble hero on a mighty steed is actually a grumpy old fart on a bowlegged donkey and prolly won't be too happy about it.

Trust me Wulf, you're better off not gettin all involved in a mess like this, BUT... if you wanna have an impact on local events, first contact your local chamber of commerce, find out the who's who of chains you'll have to yank to get anything done - cause I cannot see you getting involved in the "social scene" and asskissing your way up any more than I would have, just ain't in ya.

First, know the players - watch and learn, patiently wait for a good shot, and take it if you can, light a spark and then get enough visibility for name recognition, cause you'll need that to get on a ballot - start by bending folk who already have influence and local support, instead of from the bottom up, nail it from the top down...

Oh, and lay in a good supply of painkillers for the nonstop headache, grrrr

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008 2:46 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Man, you have my sympathy!

---------------------------------
Let's party like its 1929.

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