Take Turns Writing: "Ebo and the Mountain" by Succatash

If Teela had had hands, she would have slapped her forehead, "Not the old memory loss thing again," she sighed, "Ok. You are Ebo. I am Teela. He's Tash, thats the Big Guy and thats the Hippie."

Ebo nodded as if paying attention, "Ok. Now go back to the part where you say who i am."

"You're Ebo."

"Who?"

"Ebo!"

"Thats what i want to know!"

"No no, your Ebo."

"Who's he?"

"Tash."

"And I'm Ebo."

"Yeah."

"Is that guy Ebo too?"

"No. You're Ebo, thats the Big Guy."

"Ebo the Big Guy?"

"No. Just Big Guy."

"So I'm Ebo, thats the Big Guy-bo, and thats Tash-bo?"

"Close enough."

"And who are you?"

"Teela B."

"And who am I?"

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Saturday, May 01, 2004 3:56 PM

"Okay, what happened to the plot?" Teela asked.

"I thought you had it." said Ebo.

"I thought you had it Ebo." said the Big Guy.

"Didn't you have it Tash?" asked the Hippie.

"I thought you had it." replied Tash.

"Wait, I found the script!" Teela shouted. "Okay, it says: They crouched uncomfortably on the mountain ledge and tried to come up with a plan. The Hippie and the Big Guy looked dazed and weary.

Ebo suddenly sat up and pointed at Teela and Tash in the jar and screamed. Then she smiled. Teela and Tash looked at each other and screamed in horror.

Okay, we're screaming in horror. Why?"

"Let's think..."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, May 01, 2004 4:54 PM

Suddenly the Super Jar bubbled furiously. The Teela and Tash heads temporarily merged into one asexual head. It spoke in a neutral voice:

"The mountain is of grave importance. Ebo's past and future are tied together."

Then a bright light flashed and Teela and Tash became their separate heads again. The Super Jar was silent.

"Woah, that's weird," said the Big Guy. The Hippie grunted.

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Saturday, May 01, 2004 7:05 PM

"Well dur, of course this Ebo persons past and future are tied together, its called the present," Ebo said.

The Big Guy sniffed, "So that asexual head thing's profacy was just reduntant and didn't tell us anything?"

"Yeah. What exactly is an asexual head anyway? Do head's have sex organs?" Ebo asked.

"Hey!" Tash said, "lets play doctor!"

Ebo took a step back, "Have fun with that. I'm going to go over here..."

"Ow!" a voice said.

The group jumped.

"What do you want?" the voice said grumpily.

"Um..who are you?" Teela asked.

"The mountain. Now what do you want?"

"Oh...well maybe you could help us."

"Thats what I'm here for."

"Ok well, the asexual head thing said that Ebo here-"

"Oh i get it! I'm Ebo!" ebo said.

"Yes, anyway, it said that her past and her future were tied together."

"Is that all? They come together in the present. Now go away."

"But isn't there anything else?"

"No. Where would you get that idea?"

"Well, the title. Ebo and the Mountain. We're kind of depending on you for some sort of plot."

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Sunday, May 02, 2004 4:22 PM

The mountain sighed, "fine. Your a robot. Are you happy now?"

"We knew that," Teela sighed, "Is there anything else?"

"She likes cheese."

Ebo sighed, "I do like cheese..."

"And there's something about a quest or something..."

"Does this quest involove cheese?" Ebo asked eagerly.

"No."

"What exactly is this quest?" Tash asked.

"To find out you must travel to the end of the earth to find the Teacher. The Teacher will tell you what her quest is."

"So I'm a girl then?" Ebo asked, "Wow, I'm learning so much about me!"

"How do we get to the end of the earth?" the Hippie grunted.

"There is a tram leaving in fifteen minutes."

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Sunday, May 02, 2004 4:56 PM

"I've always wanted to see the end of the earth. To see if T. S. Elloit was right." Teela said.

"What?" the rest chourused.

"Y'know, T. S. Elliot?"

She was greeted by No's...

"Okay, he said the world was going to end 'not with a bang but with a whimper'."

"Ooohhh..."

"Okay, off we go..."

And they headed off towards the tram...

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, May 02, 2004 5:55 PM

"I've run out of pie related puns!" Ebo shouted suddenly as the tram started moving forward.

"ooookkaayyyyyy," Tash said, looking away.

The tram ride went quicky and soon they found themselves at the house of the teacher.

They wandered into a large house and found themselves sitting in small desks. A small man in glasses stepped forward and wrote his name on the chalk board, "Hello class, I'm Mr. Hepner."

"Mr. Hepner?"

"Yes. The teacher is out sick, I'm the substitute. Now then, the lesson plan says Math, Reading, and history."

"Um, Mr. Hepner," Teela said.

"Raise you hand before speaking!" Mr. Hepner barked.

"Uh, I don't have a..."

"Detention!" Mr. Hepner yelled, "You think you can get away with things just because I'm a sub? Well you can't!"

Teela and Tash slunk off to a small box and Mr. Hepner locked them in.

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Monday, May 03, 2004 1:15 PM

"Mr Hepner, sir! Is there a light?" Teela asked.

"I don't here you! LA LA LA!" Mr Hepner screamed.

"Oh, here's one." Tash pulled the cord. "Should the floor be retracting?"

"No, I don't believe so. Um, Ebo! Big Guy! We need a little help! The floor is, Whoo-Hoo!"

Outside...

"Did you hear that?"

"It was nothing."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, May 03, 2004 1:53 PM

"Are you sure Mr Hepner?" Ebo asked, "It sounded like someone said Whoo-hoo! I can't tell if it was a whoo-hoo of fear, exictement, or as in 'whoo-hoo! Get us out of here!' Or maybe it was in reference to falling?"

"It doesn't concern you. Now then. Open your math books to page 456. Who can demonstrate division of fractions for us? Anyone?"

Our fearless hero's ducked down, stuck there noses in books, anything to avoid getting called on.

"You," Mr Hepner pointed with a piece of chalk at the Hippi, "You in the tie die. Get up here, come on."

Menwhile, back in the detention box...

"Wow," Teela said, "I'm begening to think the floor maybe shouldn't be doing that."

Tash leaned over as far as he could to see down the ever-growing hole, "I think I see lava."

Moisture began to gather on the outside of the glass jar.

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004 12:29 PM

Outside the box...

"Now, divde these two fractions." Mr. Hepner said, giving a piece of chalk to the Hippie.

"Okay..." The Hippie looked at the board, like he was analyzing art. "Okay, so we move this one here, and this here..." and with each "here", the Hippie was getting worsening looks from Mr> Hepner, when the bell ringed. "Well, outta time! Guess we'll just get back to it after lunch!"

Mr. Hepner was disappointed. He left.

Ebo went to the box, and opened it. "Don't you love one way locks?" But when she looked inside, she saw nothing.

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004 1:22 PM

"Ahhh! Guys! Look! The box ate the jar-o-teela-and-tash!" Ebo screamed, "There's only one way to figure out what hepped to them. Big guy, lock me in the box."

"But-"

"Do it!" Ebo said, jumping into the box.

Sighing the Big Guy locked her in. Ebo sat for a while before she realized that the floor was slowly opeing. Glancing down she thought she saw lava but before she could do anything she fell into the hole. She fell for a long time before landing on a soft couch.

Slowly she sat up, "Am I dead?"

Tash shook his head, "No. This, as far as we can figure, is some sort of primitive tourcher chamber."

Teela nodded, "Uh-huh, apparently we fell into another dimemtion through that box."

"But the lava..." Ebo said in disbeleif.

"A trick of the light."

Ebo stood and looked around the room she saw a huge wide screen TV with surrond sound and a DVD player, a mini-bar, a large couch, and a full buffet table set out with an incredible array of cheeze, crackers, sliced fruit, and smoked salmon.

"Are you sure this is a toucher chamber?"

"Yep. We're in another dimention, remember? Apparently this is the worst living possible. Come relax, Helga will be back to give us an aromatherapy massage in about 10 minutes."

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004 4:10 PM

8 minutes later, Tash sighed heavily. Bubbles rose to the top of the super jar. "I'm bored," he said.

He turned eagerly towards Teela and asked, "Hey Teela, wanna go androngynous for a little while?"

"What? You mean turn into that creepy asexual head?" responded Teela. She seemed to think. "Okay, why not?" she answered.

They rubbed noses and the Super Jar bubbled and steamed. When the glass cleared, the asexual head was visible within the jar. It spoke to Ebo in a neutral voice: "Ebo, you must help the mountain people. They are your children and also your parents."

Then the bright light flashed and Teela and Tash became their separate heads again.

"Wow, that was fun!" cried Teela. Tash bubbled happily in agreement.

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004 4:29 PM

Ebo pondered then gave up and said, "I give up, what does that mean."

Tash shrugged, or whould have if...well..i mean...well, you know what i mean.

"Oh! I have a riddle for you! Brothers and sisters i have none, but this mans father, is my fathers son...you have to pretend I'm a guy though and-"

"I am helga!" a loud and (insert another adjactive meaning loud here) voice interjected, "Prepare for pain and utter suffering!"

She steped through the doorway and snapped a latex glove onto her head...a blue latex glove.

"Erm, hi," Ebo said, "Appaerntly your my children or something. Of perhaps I'm your children...or something...any idea where I'm going with this?"

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004 5:40 PM

Helga took a close look at Ebo. Instantly, she fell to her knees and began to worship Ebo.

"The Mightly Chosen One has returned!" Helga cried.

Suddenly, a hundred small gremlins poured into the room and began fondling and petting and stroking Ebo.

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Wednesday, May 05, 2004 3:59 PM

"Um...Ok, the petting and stroking is fine, lay off on the fondling, though. It's kinda creepy," Ebo said slowly.

The fondling, if anything, increased.

"So...little people things...what exactly does being the Mighty Chosen One imply?"

She got no answer.

"Hello? Ok, as the Mighty Choosen One I order you to tell me whats going on!"

She drummed her fingers on a gremlens head for a while then, relizing she wasn't going to get an answer she stommped over to the Jar o TnT. A wave of little gremlen things followed her.

"Get off!" she screamed and kicked one. It fell unconsious to the floor. Imedeiatly the others jumped on it, tearing it to peaces and eating its flesh.

Teela wrinkled her nose, "Now thats just unsettling."

"It is true!" a chorus of tiny voices said in perfect unison, "she IS the Mightly Choosen One! She has brought us food."

"You just ate one of your own! I will not be held responsible!"

"Oh," Helga said stepping forward, "But you have fulfilled the profacy!"

"What profacy?"

Helga jammed a disk into the DVD player, "This E! true hollywood story will tell all..." she said as the lights dimmed.

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Saturday, May 08, 2004 3:29 AM

And for a while nothing happened. "Wait, just a sec." Helga ran up the machine, and hit it. All was silent. "Okay, this happens. I gotta go get another DVD. I'll be back." Helga left.

"Okay, so do we wait?" The Big Guy asked.

"Sure!" Ebo said. She wanted to hear the profecy.

"Okay then." the Hippie said.

"Might as well make sure nothing happens." Tash told Teela.

"Okay, I got a new DVD. Lemme get it set up." She put the DVD in, and it started...

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, May 08, 2004 7:54 AM

The little people things sat down and began munching on popcorn.

Suddenly, the hippi and the Bug Guy appeared in the room.

"Hey! Down in front!" Ebo shouted.

Looking confused the Hippi and the Big Guy took a seat with the little people.

"Back before time began," the movie said, a cardboard model of what somebody thought the land before time began would look like, "There was nothing. And then, suddenly the Little People Things were formed from dirty socks from another dimention!"

The people things cheered.

"The were happy," the DVD continued, "But they were not happy. They were lacking a difinitve answer to the meaning of life. Then somebody found a tablet with writing on it. But the sock people were illeterate, and couldn't read it. But Ebo could. And she would come, and read it for them. The end."

Tash rolled his eyes, "That was the worst documentary I've ever seen. Ebo you gonna read this tablet already so we can leave?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Saturday, May 08, 2004 2:21 PM

"I can read an anciet tablet? Wow, I can't not hardly get English. Sweet." Ebo said.

"What the? Nevermind. So, um, Helga, you, uh, got the tablet for us?" Teela asked.

"Nope. But I have a tablet that shows where THE Tablet is." Helga pulled out a a brand new looking tablet.

"That's ancient?" the Hippie asked.

"Yes. We just keep it in airtight containers, as have our ancestors." Helga replied.

The Big Guy took it. "Okay, Ebo, here you go."

"Um, okay." She began to read: "A one-ounce bird can't carry a one-pound coconut!"

Helga stopped the reading. "Sorry, that's the script that Monty Python stole from us. Try this one." Helga gave them another tablet.

"Okay Ebo, try again."

Ebo began to read. "And He shall- I'm not a guy!!!"

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, May 08, 2004 8:53 PM

Helga shrugged, "Typo, now keep reading."

Ebo sighed, "Ok. Lets see here...'Begning at the oasis, follow the river through the desert to the canyion of the cresent moon.'"

Tash knit his brows, "Now that sounds vaugly familiar..."

Ebo shrugged, "So go find me this tablet and I'll read it for you."

"No no, you don't understand," Helga said, shaking her head, "You have to find the tablet, then read it, then tell up what it said."

Ebo cringed, "does that involove walking?"

Helga nodded.

Ebo sighed, "What do i get out of it?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Saturday, May 08, 2004 9:05 PM

Hours later, Ebo woke happily, surrounded by dozens of naked midgets. She yawned and stretched, and said smugly, "Yup, that was worth it."

Ebo got dressed and went downstairs where everyone was waiting. "Okay, let's go find the tablet and read it for Helga," she said, and smiled.

Tash spoke impatiently, "How did the 7-hour long negotiations go? How much are they paying us?"

"We'll talk about that later," said Ebo.

The Hippie coughed politely and said, "My cousin is a midget." He glanced sheepishly at the Big Guy and cocked his shotgun.

The group began walking the dusty trail. They followed the river through the desert as instructed. Tash and Teela floated in the Super Jar above them.

Tash turned and smiled at Teela. "Wanna go jarsexual for a little while? Maybe the next prophecy will be more interesting."

"No, not right now," answered Teela. For some reason, she avoided his eyes.

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Sunday, May 09, 2004 6:02 AM

Ebo was in deep conversation with the Hippi and the Big Guy about god knows what. This left Tash and Teela to their conversation.

Or non-conversation as the case may be.

"So..." Tash said, "How did you sleep?" They had taken a nap while Ebo was negotiating.

Teela turned farther away, "Fine."

"Did you have any dremes?"

At this Teela whimpered and turned farther away.

"Are you ok?"

Teela shook her head, "No."

"Whats wrong?"

"You talk in your sleep."

Tash's eyes widened, "What did I say?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Sunday, May 09, 2004 10:59 AM

Teela blushed deeply. "Ladies do not discuss such matters."

"You're a head in a jar. Technically, we have no defining male/female characteristics. Like the people in The Curious Sofa, by Edward Gorey."

"You were having specific doings with someone, but I didn't catch the name. But you were having a running commentary through it., then pausing, then talking, so on and so fourth."

"Doings?"

"Y'know..." She looked down. "Things...Doings...Um..."

"Ooohhhh...Kissing, right?"

Teela blushed more. "From what I heard."

"I'll try not to talk anymore, okay?"

Teela had relief spread across her face. "Okay. I'll, uh, I don't know, what do I do that's annoying?"

Now it was Tash's turn..."You, well, uh..."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, May 09, 2004 12:44 PM

"You, um, well..." Tash stalled, trying to find the words, it was a delicate subject after all.

"Hey look!" Ebo shouted, interupting him, "The canyon of the cresent moon-pie!"

They were standing on the edge of a deep canyon that was shapped, obviously, like a cresent moon.

"Cool. How do we get down? Its really incedibly far down." the Big Guy asked.

"Jump!" Ebo shouted, jumping into the canyon.

"No wait!" The Big Guy shouted, lunging after her. He grabbed the belt loop on her jeans and was pulled down with her.

They landed in a heap at the bottom, three feet below the top.

The Hippie crouched down, "Wow. That is a long way down. Incredible that you mangaged to survive that."

The Big Guy stood up and dusted himself off, "I'm just incridible like that," he mumbled.

Teela looked around, "I don't see any tablet."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Sunday, May 09, 2004 1:12 PM

"Hey look, a scroll!" shouted Ebo. She picked it up and started to read. "Okay, blah, blah, stolen by Monty Python, blah, blah, we have more places to go. Let's get crackin'!"

"Where?" asked the Hippie.

"Um, I can't pronounce these places."

The Big Guy looked at it. "Okay, spell it out."

"C-t-h-u-l-h-u."

"Oh, hey a nice place to visit, if you take out the evil incarnations and such." Teela said.

"When you'd go there?" Tash asked, glad to be off the subject.

"When I had a body, when I was with the Master. Okay, that was random."

Ebo was still reading. "Wait, that's the senic route. Let's see, where to next..."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, May 10, 2004 2:42 PM

Ebo squinted at the map roughly engraved on the tablet. "The little line thing says to go either to this place, or this place," she looked closer at the second place, "That might actually be a dead bug. Lets go to the first place."

"Whats it called?"

"Palm Springs."

The Big Guy shuddered, "I was there once, they made me play," he swallowed, "golf."

"Is that the game where you hit the ball with a stick untill it goes into the hole?"

The Big Guy nodded gravly.

"So how do we get there?" Teela asked.

"Overpriced airlines."

"Ahhh."

Hours later thry found themselvs in the Palm Springs semi-international airport.

"Where do we start?" the Hippi asked.

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 12:18 PM

"As soon as possible, so we can get away from here." The Big Guy let out a small whimper.

"Semi-International? What's that mean?" Tash inquired.

"It means you can't get to France*." The Big Guy replied.

"Oh..." Tash said.

"Ebo, what do we do here?" Teela asked.

"Let me check that..." Ebo studied the scroll..."Um, still workin' on the details, it involves a lot..."

"Like...?" The Hippie asked.

"We must travel the land of ever-changing scereny, which I believe translates to the golf course..."

The Big Guy whimpered again.

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 12:27 PM

The Hippie grunted and cocked his shotgun. "How come we don't just grab Ebo's legs and fly? Why do we need an airport?"

Everyone stared at him.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 1:07 PM

"Ebo's legs don't serve in-flight meals," Teela said.

"Ick, You call that food?" the Big Guy said.

"Hey i still have some left!" ebo said eagerly, pulling a small package out and taking a large bite.

"Um, Ebo, thats the carboard packaging," Teela said slowly.

Ebo shrugged, "It tastes better then the stuff inside."

"So when do i get my big stick?" the Hippie said.

He got quizzical looks.

"If were going to play golf i need a big stick, right?"

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 1:51 PM

Everyone laughed uncomfortably and tried not to look at the Hippie's crotch.

"Oh yeah, THAT big stick. For golf." said Teela.

"What does connecting flight mean?" asked Tash. "I think we have to get on another plane."

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 3:30 PM

"Oh. So that was a connecting flight then. Where are we going now?" Ebo said as she sat down.

"Flying is really borring," she said, "Are we there yet?"

"no."

"Oh...Hey! Who wants to join the mile high club?"

The hippie looked up eagerly.

"Um...I mean, who, who is not the Hippie, wants to join the mile high club?"

"I will."

"Tash, honey, i hate to break it to you, but your lacking in the nessisary parts."

"I din't say that."

Ebo looked at the big guy who shrugged, "I'm gay."

"So who said it?"

"Me," a guy in the next seat said.

"Who are you?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 3:35 PM

"I am Wintrobe Walkingtone Witherspoon the Third. I gratuated from Harvard."

"Your point is?" Ebo asked.

"Um, I don't know."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 3:42 PM

"Oh wow. We're landing already."

"That was the fastest flight ever."

"I don't think we ever took off..."

"I think we did. Look, less golf courses."

"Hey, who wants to see my big stick?" The hippi brought the conversation to a standstill, "For golf, i mean."

"So where are we?" sombody said as they wandered to the bagage pick-up place-y thing.

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"When did this become not funny?"

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 4:54 PM

"You're in the Baggage Claim Area!" a powerful voice spoke.

Ebo and the group stared in shock at the strangers who suddenly blocked their path.

Two Hippie females stood in their way and behind them was a Bigger Guy and a Super Big Jar full of 3 heads. The three heads spoke in unison:

"YOU ARE NOT AS COOL AS US!"

The Hippie cocked his shotgun and said, "That's where you're wrong, Sisters. You don't have a shotgun like me. Now, get out of our way, or I'll blow a hole in your rainbow."

In the blink of an eye, both Hippie girls suddenly produced shotguns from their skirts and pointed them at the Hippie.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 5:19 PM

"Ha!" ebo said, "We win! You don't have a double of me."

"I think thats to their advantage," the Big Giy said quietly.

-----------------------------------

We do the hard thespian, so you don't have to.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 5:21 PM

"Wow! We got out of cycle of anti-climatic scenes!" Teela was excited.

"You do realize that two guns are pointing at us?" Tash asked.

"Of course! It's just amazing."

"Oh. Okay."

Meanwhile...

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004 5:22 PM

On impulse, Teela began rubbing noses with Tash inside their Super Jar. When the steam and bubbles cleared, the Asexual Prophet gazed angrily at the female Hippies.

"SO! You dare challenge me!" cried the asexual head in a neutral voice.

The Hippie Girls watched the transformation with interest, but then they smiled and laughed at the Asexual Prophet.

"We have 3 heads in our jar, wait and see!" cried the Hippie Girls.

Everyone stared in horror as the 3 heads began rubbing noses and the Super Big Jar began bubbling and boiling and hissing. After several minutes, the steam cleared and everyone gasped at the horror they witnessed.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2004 3:08 PM

"Oh my god its grotesqe! And heres a thing in a-Well, actually, the thing in the jar is the most grotesqe thing I see," Ebo trailed off.

The jar thing and the asexual head faced off.

"Jar Thing!" The asexual head challeneged, "What are you're powers?"

"I am a profet!"

"I, as well, am a profet!"

"Obviously not a very good one, or else you would know that I too, am a profet!"

"I callange you to a profesise off!"

"I knew you were going to say that!"

"Your hippie will never be a good golf player!"

"Your hippie's are pegnent!"

"Only the one! Ebo is the past, present, and future of the mountain people!"

"Duh! Bread will distroy your Bigger Guy!"

"You will do it right before you're shotgun!"

"Strong Enough for a Man, Made for a Jar!"

"A Different Kind Of Company. A Different Kind Of Compression-Coil!"

"Schhh... You Know Strawberries!"

"Run For The Not A Grandfather!"

"A Day Without The Mighty-Ebonezer is Like a Day Without Sunshine!"

"Four out of Five Dentists Recommend Jeremy!"

"Do you know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?!"

"Of course! What is the square root of 2,566,485?!"

"1602.025! Have you seen the Heart of Gold!"

"Of course! I desighened the Improbablity drive!"

"Can you bake a pie?!"

"No!"

"Nither can I!"

----------------------------------- We do the hard thespian, so you don't have to.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2004 6:24 PM

While the Prophesy Battle continued between the Jar Heads, the Hippie found himself in a fierce battle of his own.

"Don't let it hit the ground, or everyone dies!" cried the evil Hippie girls. They threw a glowing hacky sack at the Hippie and he kicked it out of instinct. The Hippie Girls laughed evilly as the Hippie sweated and concentrated, and kept kicking the hacky sack high into the air.

Meanwhile, the Big Guy was in a fierce battle with the Bigger Guy. It was a terrible fight to watch.

But through it all, Ebo felt sad. She didn't have anyone to battle.

"That's where your wrong, Ebo." said a sad, calm voice. A dark hooded robed figure emerged from the shadows. "I am Obie, Ebo. Obie 2, to be exact, the forgotten younger brother of a more famously numbered Obie."

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Friday, May 14, 2004 12:27 PM

"And you left me behind." continued Obie 2's sad, calm voice.

"Wait. I hardly know you, where you came from, and you're saying I left you behind. I mean, logically this makes no sense and you shouldn't exist!" Ebo had her first intelligent thought, and it was a crowning glory. Well, not really. There was no crown or anything, just an achievement.

"Why, you're right!" And Obie started disappearing, while the battle raged (well, not really) on.

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 12:35 PM

Ebo sat down on a suitcase sighing, "Um, Hippie?"

"I'm busy!" he said, concentraiting hard to keep the hacky sack up.

"It's important."

"later ok?"

"But it would be much more helpful now."

"This better be good."

"Why don't you just catch the hakey sack? It wouldn't touch the ground then."

The hippie looked up in shock, wht hadn't he thought of that? His concentraion was broken and the hakey sack hit the ground.

----------------------------------- We do the hard thespian, so you don't have to.

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 1:36 PM

"HA!" said both the Hippie girls, but their concentration was also lost, and their hacky sack hit the ground.

Silence ensued.

Meanwhile...

The Jars were still in their battle.

"I prophecise you will loose!" screamed the three-asexual head.

"HA! We ALREADY prophecised that!" scream Tas-ela.

"Wait, doesn't that mean you loose?"

"We prophecised it first!"

"Wait. So who wins?"

"You you don't know?"

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 3:11 PM

Ebo looked at the hakey sacks laying on the ground, "Thats it? I was expecting some sort of explosion..."

Suddenly the ground began shaking and bits of plaster bagan falling from the cealing.

"Oh, there we go," Ebo said, ducking behind a baggage carosel.

Peaking over the top she saw the Big Guy and the Bigger Guy in the throws of battle, the jar of Teela and Tash (now sepearated and not asexual) jetted over to Ebo, followed by the other jar, with three heads in it.

"Who won?" Ebo asked, not pulling her eyes away from the battle of the Big Guys.

"We gave up and went for coffee. Then we came back. So the whole outcome of the feud really rests on this."

"Oh thats nice. Wheres the Hippie?"

"With the girl hippies."

"Doing what?"

Tash gave her a look.

"Oh that."

----------------------------------- We do the hard thespian, so you don't have to.

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 3:46 PM

The group waited for the Big Guy and the Bigger Guy to stop fighting. Teela and Tash avoided each other's eyes.

In the background, everyone could hear the screams and groans coming from the Hippie Tent, which the Hippies had quickly made out of branches and grass.

Tash suddenly turned and smiled at Teela inside their jar. He began to speak but Teela cut him off.

"Don't even think it, Tash," she said quietly.

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 3:48 PM

"Wow. The Hippies got a tent. Thats interesting."

One of the three heads-in-a-jar said, "Thank god. We're sooo tired of watching those two go at it on the floor."

----------------------------------- We do the hard thespian, so you don't have to.

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 3:56 PM

The Big Men still fought, but finally everyone else went to sleep. Even the Hippies. The silence was deafening.

But in the morning, everyone woke to a big surprise. The Big Men still fought quietly, choking each other's throats. Ebo gasped in surprise and Teela screamed.

Inside the Super Jar, along with Teela and Tash heads was a little baby head.

"How did that happen?" asked Teela.

Tash stared in shock. "Did we do that?"

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Monday, May 17, 2004 2:40 AM

The baby head spoke up, in a highly educated English voice. "Why yes. I was willed into existence. Teela, by her competetive existence wanted a fair fight; and Tash, well, let's say Tash was having less-than-clean thoughts."

"Can you become older?" Teela asked, though releif was across her face.

"Of course." The head grew so it was old enough to match the voice.

Tash was just listening. "We can will things into existence?"

"Rarely, but it happens."

_____________ "Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984 Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing. "No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, May 17, 2004 2:35 PM

"How smart is this head thing?" Ebo asked, "Can it profisize too?"

"Profi-what?" The head asked.

"Profisize. Dur."

"Do you have a name?," Teela asked, "Not enough things have names around here."

"Yeah, we need more names," Ebo said, then as an afterthought added, "Preferably a short, easy to spell name, with not to many z's or q's."

-----------------------------------

Four out of five denstists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Monday, May 17, 2004 4:12 PM

Tash spoke up. "How about 'Head Boy' or 'Tash Jr.' perhaps?

"Could you name him after me?" asked Ebo.

"Uh, Ebo's a girl's name, duh." replied Tash.

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Monday, May 17, 2004 4:30 PM