Help with bullies by maugwai

TALK STORY

Help with bullies

POSTED BY: MAUGWAI
UPDATED: Friday, December 24, 2004 07:44
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VIEWED: 2014
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Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:18 AM

Okay, I'm writing a story in which a character goes kind of Carrie after a bully messes with her one too many times, but I don't want it to read too much like Carrie because I want the story to stand on its own. The problem is, I'm having difficulty giving my bully a final act to push my main character over the edge.

Anybody got any great stories of things they saw bullies do in school? I need a really sinister act and I'm plumb out of ideas. Any input would be welcome.

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:38 AM

CAITE

A bully once glued me to my seat in the 6th grade...you could use that.

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:39 AM

PHOEBE

Well it depends on your main character.. what type of thing would be worse for them. Public humiliation, degradation in private, destruction of property, academic failure, being framed for something... all things that bullies can do and I've seen them do, but all things that different people would view as worse.

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:48 AM

MAUGWAI

Quote:
Originally posted by Phoebe:
Well it depends on your main character.. what type of thing would be worse for them. Public humiliation, degradation in private, destruction of property, academic failure, being framed for something... all things that bullies can do and I've seen them do, but all things that different people would view as worse.

Well, she's already kind of angry. She's kind of a dork and the bully has already victimized her and her friends. In fact, the thing that made her the maddest so far was when the bully picked on her friend instead of her. Her parents suck, her dog died and she punched this bully in the face the day before, so the bully's out for revenge. The humiliation must take place at lunch in front of everybody, but no buckets of blood. I'm really trying to avoid the Carrie comparison, hence the need for creative ideas.

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 9:16 AM

HARDWARE

Quote:
Originally posted by maugwai:

Well, she's already kind of angry. She's kind of a dork and the bully has already victimized her and her friends. In fact, the thing that made her the maddest so far was when the bully picked on her friend instead of her. Her parents suck, her dog died and she punched this bully in the face the day before, so the bully's out for revenge. The humiliation must take place at lunch in front of everybody, but no buckets of blood. I'm really trying to avoid the Carrie comparison, hence the need for creative ideas.

How about the simple, classic tripping the hero while she is carrying a lunch tray and having your protagonist land face first on the lunch tray. Maybe something like spaghetti?

Most of the time when people flip their lid it isn't the actual event that causes the violence, the event is just the trigger that pushes someone under a lot of stress too far. The straw that breaks the camel's back so to speak.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 9:53 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up

Have it be a total accident where the bully innocently causes her to drop her tray, or spill food, or trip, or something. Make it obvious that he wasn't trying to do anything. Makes her explosion that much more of a shock to him, and the readers.

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Friday, December 24, 2004 6:37 AM

MAUGWAI

Thanks for the input guys. That's a couple ideas to run with. I know more people have experience than that, though. I mean, we post to a cancelled sci-fi show fansite, we have to have been beat up more than this.

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

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Friday, December 24, 2004 7:44 AM

SERGEANTX

Here's the bestestest bully story I ever saw.

Characters:

Paul: A shy nerdy kid. Not a wimp, but not coordinated and terrible at sports. Hated gym class where he was picked on mercilessly by the 'jocks'

Coach: The teacher for the high school gym class. Always managed to be looking the other way during gym class when the jocks were picking on Paul. Didn't much like the non-athletic types (Paul).

Tim: Loner, badass, street kid. Wasn't much into gym class either, but nobody messed with him.

So one day after some nasty street hockey action in which Paul was getting the short end of the stick (literally), we're all getting dressed in the locker room. Paul seems particularly upset after taking some pretty nasty abuse in the game.
The ring leader of the jocks is flipping Paul with a towel while the rest of the jocks egg him on. Coach is nearby in his office, 'unaware' of the teasing.

Finally, Paul has had enough just flips out and grabs the ring leader kid, overpowers him and start slamming his head into the locker over and over again, bloodying his nose. Of course Coach notices this and charges out his office...

But then, Tim jumps up and puts himself between Coach and the action.

Coach: "Get out of the way Tim."

Tim: (shouting)"No! You created this, I think we should let Paul finish it!"

Coach: (hesitating, nervous) "Now Tim, you don't want to do anything you'd regret here...."

Now by this point, Paul is done with the jock ringleader and like everyone else is watching the confrontation between Tim and Coach.

Tim just looks over at the jock kid picking himself up off the floor and laughs, sneers at Coach and leaves the room.

I believe some kind of fanfare played at this point. (or maybe that's just what I heard)

True Story. Coach didn't say much to Tim after that and the jocks steered clear of Paul.

SergeantX

"Dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it, cause dreamers always chase but never get it." Aesop Rock

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