TALK STORY

Male and Female Imponderables -- Love Rollercoaster

POSTED BY: WHIMSICALNBRAINPAN
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 19:58
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Sunday, November 19, 2006 8:27 PM

WHIMSICALNBRAINPAN


Old thread: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=25325

So we were talking marriage in the last thread and I have an imponderable that relates to that issue in a way. If it has been asked before please forgive. When you are in love do you think you'll know if they are "the one". I know that love takes work and is not at all like a fairy tale but when should any doubts be taken seriously?

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." http://whimsicalnbrainpan.blogspot.com/

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Sunday, November 19, 2006 8:35 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


That's a very good question, Whims! I think the problem is that everyone's different, so I can only answer it for me. When I should start taking my doubts seriously is when I feel sick. If the doubts are enough to make me so stressed that I'm manifesting it, I should pay attention to them. Whether I do or not... Well, I'm getting better with that. Invariably, though, even if I ignore it when I get to that point, it doesn't make a difference because the end is nigh. At least in my experience so far...


[]

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Sunday, November 19, 2006 8:51 PM

SHINYKITTEN


ummmmm..ok, i really have no answer to the ponderable..i just wanted to say hi to everyone....

Hi!


*********************






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Sunday, November 19, 2006 9:39 PM

ODDSBODSKINS


well, i'd be lying if i said i had much by way of comment to offer in the field of marriage or even just serious relationships, but i thought i'd pop in just to say whooja anyway

well, except insofar as deadly serious relationships, but that's a whole 'nother story, for another time and another topic

Ah! What is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

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Sunday, November 19, 2006 10:58 PM

MCQ


Forgive me for this and if I blunder any lines but I can't resist:

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam...within a dweam."

Seriously, I'm not going to give my thoughts on mawwiage - er, marriage - as I'm not really ready for that yet. I'd be looking more towards dating and getting to know someone first and I haven't had a lot of luck with that either. As Forrest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

EDIT: I forgot to add this - I'm wondering why this thread keeps hopping between General Discussion and Talk Story. I'd like to ask that we all decide where we'd like it kept and have it posted in one section continuously rather than hopping back and forth - gets kind of confusing to find the new threads. Thanks.


-----------------------------
The official Court Jester of the Mythical Land that is Iowa! Woohoo!!

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Monday, November 20, 2006 2:16 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


OK... ponder... ponder... ponder...

Nico - I think we did kind of cover this - but more recently so you might not have got up to it yet - but I think I said something along the lines that it matters to me that I make a commitment and include family and friends to not only witness that commitment but commit to supporting 'us' in it as well... I have taken that promise seriously for friends who's weddings I attended and they said they really appreciated that aspect of my friendship... I would be happy to take on my spouses name and the way I feel about it is that it marks the next stage of your life - when you are part of a new neuclear family rather than the one you grew up in... I think I have mentioned that my sister is in a de facto relationship but changed her name to her partner's so that her kids had a sense of 'family identity' ... something that I think gets a little overlooked these days...

Hmmmm... I really don't know about the other aspect Whimsy... although I met someone in my 20s who might have been 'the one' if I had continued on that course - I don't believe I have completely missed my chance of happiness with someone - there must be more than one person in this world of 6,558,135,408 people ( http://www.census.gov/ipc/www/popclockworld.html if you want to check it out - it changes every day...) I know that I have seriously dated men whom I knew in my heart weren't the one... and others whom I wasn't really convinced were and wasn't devastated when they really weren't...

Does that make sense to you?

Hmmmm - the other thing I forgot to ponder was 'breakfast food', sorry my gorgeous MsG I used to party all night in my 20s and one of my favourite things was souvlaki! Greek giro-styel grilled lamb with tomatoes and lettuce and a yoghurt/garlic sauce to die for and all wrapped in flat bread... oh dear... is it right to crave that now..? When I am about to go to bed...




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Monday, November 20, 2006 2:32 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


mornin Imponderables.

I think that you can definitely think that someone is "the one" and then have feelings that prove otherwise, and I like PR's description of it manifesting itself physically when there is a problem. I have though I was in love several times, was actually 'in love' with my wife (there were 2 others I was 'in love' with), but recently have admitted to myself and to her that that is no longer the case, as she did with me almost a year ago. I still love and care for her, just the 'in love' part is long gone. We want to get it back though, but that is going to take a lot of work and might alreayd be too late.

McQ - LOL @ mawwiage

magda - mornin babe. You made me hungry with your description. I can only hope that my cheese grits will sate the hunger you created by talking about one of my favorite dishes. :)

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 2:42 AM

JAMESTHEDARK


Boy, and I thought somebody was going to tear into me for the Marriage vent I threw. I guess nobody even noticed it.

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.

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Monday, November 20, 2006 2:57 AM

NICODEMUS


I have naught to say on this topic, although I may come up with an answer at some point.

I do have a question that I have yet to find an answer for in the archives, namely: why must females require two or more people to visit the restrooms at any one time? Is it fear of being jumped on the way there? Is it (and this is aimed more at the school kiddies) so that you can share a cigarette or have one person standing watch?


**************

(Thx to Desktop Hippie for the banner)
If you find yourself getting too worked up about stuff that isn't real (RP Threads etc), then go outside, breathe in some fresh air and try feeding the ducks. (Because ducks don't care about your politics, religion, skin colour, choice of music or even your haircut. They like everyone, provided you bring them food.)

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Monday, November 20, 2006 2:58 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


I noticed it James, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and my own wasn't even close to popular with this group.

I do like the idea of a Common Sense political party, but I don't see it happening, as the people and corporations who fund the politicians seem to be staunchly against it.

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 3:44 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all.
Busy short week ahead.

I would also like to add to McQ's request that the Imponderables stay in the General Discussion area. I don't mind that people keep starting new threads (whee!), but can we try to keep them in the General Discussion area, please?

Morning, Magda! I hope to catch up to you today!

RIMG, morning as well...I've had some help thinking about the Browncoat Brigade for D*C...thanks again, Magda!

Coffee. If I have time, I'll be back.

Good morning to those I missed and to those that will show up while I'm gone!

______________________________________

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Monday, November 20, 2006 3:57 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


mornin' Tristan.

I am glad you thought about the BC Brigade some, as I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make the medic backpack that I was thinking about making, to keep cold bverages in for the refreshment of the troops.

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 4:02 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Morning Tristan I was going to bed but now I just want to be 'caught up with'...

James... sorry Honey - just didn't think there was much to say... like RIMG said - eveyone is entitled to their opinion, mine is hardly the norm these days I think - but it is just me being true to myself... that's al I think we can ask of one another...

RIMG - thank you! - growing up in multicultural Melbourne we are spoilt for the variety and quality of our food choices and I wasn't sure everyone would have enjoyed the delights of Souvlaki in the US or UK... I used to love coming home via 'Stalegtites' from the night clubs... only problem is when you end up with a hangover and you have garlic breath! Mind you - I'm generally fairly lucky in the hangover department...

Wh else is where?




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Monday, November 20, 2006 4:10 AM

PENGUIN


Good morning dear one!






King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, November 20, 2006 4:16 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


magda - I used to work in a Greek diner and had one almost every day when getting off of work. Very tasty stuff, and sometime I want to actually make it myownself. I am with you on the rare hangovers *knocks wood* and garlic breath is very easily solved by biting down on a lemon or lime, the citric acid takes most of it away instantly.

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 4:18 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Good Morning Penguin!!

How are you enjoying your day off dear one?

I meant to add my vote to the 'please-keep-the-Imponderables-in-the-general-discussion-' ah... what was I saying...? I like that people have 'shaken things up a bit' lately - but my poor brain can't always take it, especially when I am on in the wee hourrs of the morning here... I think Talk Story and General Discussion tend to be pretty much a similar thing anyway - and I like being able to pop into the pub next door when I'm pondering...

Ah... now... oh - yeah - good night all! Magda x x x

And no worries with the 'planning-of-the-brigade-thing' qing ren!! I'll be over in about ... oh... 280 days to help some more!

EDIT: coz we posted at the same moment - thank you for the lemon/lime tip RIMG - my mother has an ample supply of both in her garden - though I always used to chew parsley... it really isn't my favourite flavour - I' dmuch rather eat a lemon or lime...






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Monday, November 20, 2006 4:25 AM

TRISTAN


RIMG, as I find photos of what I am planning on building, I'll try to remember to start a thread. I still have a few orders to finish, and the holidays are approaching fast, so it may be around the 1st of the year...but if any of y'all think of things, let me know! I'm looking forward to this!

Magda, if you quit running, it'll be easier to catch you!

Morning, Penguin!
Love the tag, by the way. That whole series cracked me up.

______________________________________

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Monday, November 20, 2006 5:04 AM

MSG


Nico- we go in groups so we can talk about you !! Well not you specifically, but they guys we're with. Strategize if it's a bad date about how to get home quicker or how to drag it out if we're having fun...that sort of thing. Plus sometimes the other girl or girls have something you might need to borrow.

Whimsical- hmmm well I don't think it's a single moment (picture beam of light and sweeling chorus) where you think HE'S THE ONE! It's more a combination of moments and over time you go from the first giddy stages of love to a quiet,deeper connection not so based on your physical "first lust" moment...like when my husband used to get up and scrape my car windshield on frosty morning so I wouldn't have to. It's the little stuff that you start noticing where the other person shows their concern for your happiness and such:)

Ok now I can't remember who brought up the marriage thing, but...I must say this is the first time I have ever felt like the conservative staid one. Obviously I am married and I took my husbands name. In my opinion, the ownership tradition has long since passed from marriage and has just become a set of traditions in a committment to each other. I don't know any married woman who feels owned by her husband and I also don't know any woman who feels she lost her identity when she took her husband's name. I think your name is not your identity and all marriage is is a promise you do your best never to break. Having your father give you away ( which I did) is simply symbolic of you stepping from your family to making your own family with your husband. Just because a ceremony meant one thing 500 years ago doesn't make it mean the same thing now...heck even 100 years can change it. In 1867 the "iron clad oath" was created to force Southerners to demonstrate their loyalty to the United States. They were forced to sign it to keep owning land or to vote...today we call "iron clad oath" The pledge of alliegence and ever school kid recites it as a matter of course as something you say traditionally to show support for your country. The meaning of the oath is totally different...just like the marriage ceremony used to be about ownership and now it's just about committment ( that's just my opinion obviously) I'm going to be out for most of the day. My baby sis is in town for a few short days before returning to her exile in Kirksville,Missouri so I took the day off to spend it with her

BIG HUGS to all:)

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."- Albright



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Monday, November 20, 2006 6:53 AM

MSG


Bumpety

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."- Albright



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Monday, November 20, 2006 8:45 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Ha! Whimsicalbrainpan outponders ALL imponderers!

Don't mind me. I'm just giddy because I'm almost finished my Christmas shopping and it's still November. Go me! I'm the greatest!

*cough*

On the 'he's the one' ponder... I haven't reached that point yet, so I can't comment. I hope I get hit with it some day.

On marraige - I'm pretty easy about it. It depends very much on my husband-to-be (if I ever meet him!) and what makes us and both our families happy. I'm happy enough to keep my own name, but my name is boring as heck so I'd probably take his if it made me sound more interesting




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Monday, November 20, 2006 8:48 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Good Morning everyone.

Oohhh. Bumps already. Must be a quiet day.

ADD: Mornin' DTH. Don't like your last name eh?



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Monday, November 20, 2006 8:53 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


wow, the Imponderables certainly have been quiet today. Too many other interesting threads going on, or people just not at their usual place in front of their computers ??

*hugs* MSG, have fun with your sister.

A ponderable: What circumstances, if any, could lead to you taking the life of another human being ??

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 8:56 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Well, I've been working/Christmas shopping and I'm just about to go teach a class. So, um... bye!




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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:01 AM

TRISTAN


It has been rather quiet in here today. Huh!

Morning, MSG, DTH, NVG!

RIMG, to your question...at this moment in time, just about anything would be a good excuse.

Seriously, though...direct threat to life or liberty (mine or my family's). There are a few other circumstances, but nothing with that clarity comes to mind right now.

(RIMG, I've been looking at screencaps for the Independent's "uniform", and apparently, the best shots are in some of the deleted scenes, so I'll be checking those out when I get home tonight.)

______________________________________

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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:06 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
RIMG, to your question...at this moment in time, just about anything would be a good excuse.

Seriously, though...direct threat to life or liberty (mine or my family's). There are a few other circumstances, but nothing with that clarity comes to mind right now.

(RIMG, I've been looking at screencaps for the Independent's "uniform", and apparently, the best shots are in some of the deleted scenes, so I'll be checking those out when I get home tonight.)



You're having one of those types of days too? Meh.

I would like to think that I would only kill to save my family or myself (if someone tries to kill you, you kill em right back), but I also think there is something dark inside of me that would be ok with killing a "bad" person...

Let me know on the Independents' uniform. I gave away my series, so I can not reference it until I buy another, but I definitely want to put together a few costumes for the brigade (I am thinking that my medic backpack will have to use ice-packs, as most any liquid coolant will be too expensive/hard to come by, and anything that requires a power source may end up being too heavy).

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia


- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:10 AM

TRISTAN


RIMG, having one of those few weeks, it seems! But, things always become shiny again!

I agree with the killing of a "bad" person. I am of the theory that at our basest level, humans are capable of about anything. I am just hoping it never comes to that.

I will. Heck, I'll go ahead and start the thread now, so I can quit pestering the good ponderers. Keep an eye out for it...should be titled something like "Independent Brigade for D*C"...


______________________________________

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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:12 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Tristan! How do?

I'd like to ignore the question asked by RIMG. Not out of sheer rudeness, but out of choice.





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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:22 AM

TRISTAN


NVG, doing good, brudda! How about you?
Oh, quick question about the decoys you make...do you sell them out of State? I may be interested in one. (I have been having email issues and lost your email address yet again. )

______________________________________

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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:31 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Of course I sell outta state. But there may be no need to speak of such things as I know where you live.

nvghostrider@yahoo.com

There I am.



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Monday, November 20, 2006 9:39 AM

GED


Just wanted to say good afternoon to Tristan, MSG, PR, NVG DTH, Whims, Magdalena, CK, and everyone else I missed. I've been out of the world a spell, but I should be back now. Hope you all are well. I will post about my perspective on "the one" in a lil bit.

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Monday, November 20, 2006 10:06 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Glad to see ya back in Ged. Run across ya from time to time but not nearly enough.

On that note, I have to take lunch. Be back soon.



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Monday, November 20, 2006 10:08 AM

WHIMSICALNBRAINPAN


Hi GED, good to see you!

Two things I forgot to answer. 1. Pizza is the perfect breakfast food. 2. It depends on what the guy I'd be marrying name was as to whether I'd take it or not.

I would kill to protect myself or someone I love from harm, without hesitation. I must also admit that there is someone I would (at times) very much like to kill but the state of NC is going to do it for me, although the appeals process is taking forever.

McQ: LOL! I love that part of The Princess Bride.

MSG: He does absolutely sweet things for me like fixing my coffe for me in the morning just the way I like it. I know how much the little things mean and appreciate them. Still there have been doubts lately.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." http://whimsicalnbrainpan.blogspot.com/

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Monday, November 20, 2006 10:23 AM

CHRISMOORHEAD


RIMG - Anything the lead me to be absolutely convinced that letting the person live would result in them committing any number of acts such as, but not limited to, rape and murder.

The circumstances of the situation would matter as well. Depending on the intensity of the situation, the disposition of the alleged aggressor, and the constraints of time and space/area, I might kill a person simply for running in my direction.

Also, someone asking me to kill them out of mercy. I could easily be convinced if I thought the person was of sound mind and had good reason to require death.

But the main sentiment is that there is no catch-all way to deal with the issue. Each situation must be approached on a case by case basis. Sun Tzu would tell us to consider the Tao, the General, Heaven, Earth, and the laws before committing to violence.

[IMG]
Place my body on a ship and burn it on the sea,
Let my spirit rise, Valkyries carry me.
Take me to Valhalla where my brothers wait for me.
Fires burn into the sky, my spirit will never die.

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Monday, November 20, 2006 10:46 AM

ODDSBODSKINS


about the price of a round of drinks ^_~

Ah! What is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

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Monday, November 20, 2006 10:57 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


...and back to the pondering!

What would lead me to take a life? Well, I tend to shun violence when I can, but if someone was in immediate danger I'd kill if I had to. I'm not saying I'd be happy with doing it or I'dbe proud of myself, but if it comes down to a choice between someone getting murdered or killing the potential murderer then I know which side I'm on.

Unless I was stuck in an immediate kill-or-be-killed situation, I don't think I'd kill if Ireland went to war with another country. I wouldn't refuse to join the army, because it's not acceptable to me for someone to have to take my place in that kind of a situation, but I would do my level best not to have to fire a weapon. Quite franky, I'd rather be on the front lines doing something that helped people, like search and rescue, than somewhere cushy and safe holding a weapon.

Anything else...? Hm... can't think of anything right now. Maybe if I was in a hostage situation, I'd try to kill the person who'd kidnapped me. My first choice would be trying to talk my way out of it, but if the person is violent or there are others involved then I'll do what it takes without hesitation. And here's hoping I never have to deal with any of those situations!

EDIT: Good point, CMH, forgot about mercy killing.

GED's back! Hey everybody! GED's back! *hugs GED*




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Monday, November 20, 2006 11:48 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Bumpy wumpy!




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Monday, November 20, 2006 11:55 AM

GED


So I've been pondering this idea of "the one" for a while now and have come to a few conclusions.

Personally, I'm not sure if there is only a single person out there for each of us. I mean, if there was only one person in this entire world that we were destined to be with, how could we find that single individual that we are "supposed" to be with in a world of 6.7 billion people? And what happens if you find "the one" and they pass away. Do you then find another "one?" But if the person you were with before was truly the one, then there can't be another. This is something that happens, but people end up remarrying and having happy lives with their new significant other. The idea of "the one" is quite a romantic idea, but I feel it's highly unlikely; especially so since we practice serial monogamy here in the West and not strict monogamy. Now, that doesn't mean that you can't *make* someone your "one." In fact, I think that's what we do. There are a lot of people in the world that I could get along with, have common interests, have chemistry with, and be in love with. There are a lot of good people in the world. The designation of a person as "the one" is just that - a designation. But it is a special designation as it signifies their meaning to you. It places them in a special position/role in your life and you place great value and importance on them. To me, "the one" isn't so much the single one all and be all person in the whole universe. It's more of the way I would treat my significant other... as if she were the only one in the universe for me.

Now I just gotta find her...

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Monday, November 20, 2006 11:56 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


*gasp* Ged! It's you! YOU'RE THE ONE!

*grabs Ged and refuses to let go*




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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:03 PM

TRISTAN


Um, DTH, did you and I share a moment a few posts back? And now you have found your "One"? Huh.


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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:05 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Yes, we *did* share a moment. But then you didn't call. So now my broken hearted self has to look elsewhere. Or buy some more batteries.




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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:10 PM

GED


lol, looks like I missed something, gotta go back and catch up!

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:12 PM

TRISTAN


But, I did! I was here, pining for you! And you run into the arms of another man! *sigh*
I will survive, though. He is a good man, and will treat you right. I hope the two of you enjoy each other's company, and I wish nothing but the best for both of you!

(see, this is what happens when the Imponderable thread gets too quiet! Mini-soap opera!)

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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:13 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Summary is thus: Tristan was feeling down. So I felt him up.

And I'm not saying anything or anything but it was over pretty quickly.

EDIT: Awwww, T! You still have feelings for me?

*dumps Ged and runs back to Tristan*




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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:16 PM

TRISTAN


Felt me up? More like rocked my world! And of course it was quick...it's been awhile and I was out of practice...

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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:19 PM

ODDSBODSKINS


*sends a minion for popcorn and settle's down with the patchwork quilt*

Ah! What is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:26 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Felt me up? More like rocked my world!



Oh yeah... I'm good!




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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:29 PM

TRISTAN


Better believe it! All I did was say that I missed a certain activity in my life, and "bang!"...and then she left me gasping for breath.

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Monday, November 20, 2006 12:48 PM

GED


Alright I'm out for the day folks, I might check in later tonight!

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Monday, November 20, 2006 1:01 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Mee too. See you tomorrow.




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Monday, November 20, 2006 1:13 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I return and everyone leaves. Is it a sign?

Here's a button for such an occasion:



Shared for the enjoyment of my fellow Browncoats.



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