TALK STORY

LAWYERS...

POSTED BY: CITIZEN
UPDATED: Sunday, September 4, 2005 23:07
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 6469
PAGE 1 of 1

Friday, August 12, 2005 11:52 AM

CITIZEN


THIS IS THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY

A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within in a month, having smoked its entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were "lost in a series of small fires."
The Insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the lawyer had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The Lawyer sued...and WON [stay with this]...

In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal procedures, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss or the rare cigars lost in the fire.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Friday, August 12, 2005 11:55 AM

SIMONWHO


It's a great story but alas, it is not true:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/cigarson.asp

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Saturday, August 13, 2005 7:00 AM

BATMARLOWE


It's not?! Damn! Guess it will join the ranks of other urban myths.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:18 AM

PIETVA


This is a lie, and you are gullible or stupid, or both.

USE www.Google.com to check such drivel.

look it up:
www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/cigars.html

Piet

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:27 AM

HARDWARE


Well it is true in the sense that Brad Paisley sang a song about this on is "Mud on the Tires" CD.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:34 AM

ZOOT


Quote:

It's a great story but alas, it is not true:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/cigarson.asp



Ah! Snopes, the preserve of the sensible netizen!!

I love pointing out to fellow workmates that, for example, the story about women being attacked with ether disguised as perfume in parkinglots in JUST NOT TRUE!!

But then, I’m a lawyer, so that makes me a pedantic and contrary individual ….


***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 1:02 AM

CITIZEN


PietVA:
Thanks for your insulting reply, your an idiot well done.

It was copy and pasted from an E-mail I recieved, I didn't check whether it was true or not because it amused me, and whether or not it was true frankly didn't matter.
I thought it was something amusing, which is why I posted it.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 1:04 AM

DUCESTECUM


Quote:

Originally posted by PietVA:
This is a lie, and you are gullible or stupid, or both.

USE www.Google.com to check such drivel.

look it up:
www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/cigars.html

Piet



Talking to a Browncoat in this manner is totally uncalled for. He was simply trying to entertain others and was obviously being silly since the story has been around for awhile. I think this makes you a b1tch, or a b@stard, or both.


And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:04 AM

DUCESTECUM


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
PietVA:
Thanks for your insulting reply, your an idiot well done.

It was copy and pasted from an E-mail I recieved, I didn't check whether it was true or not because it amused me, and whether or not it was true frankly didn't matter.
I thought it was something amusing, which is why I posted it.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.



I want to apologize to other Browncoats for my behavior. The arrogance of Piet's reply to Citizen P'd me off big time and I confess, I lost it. I will make more of an effort to control myself in the future.

And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:13 AM

ZOOT


DucesTecum

Don't reckon you have anything to apologise for!!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:20 AM

CITIZEN


DITTO : to the not having to appologise...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:25 AM

SPINLAND


IMNSDHO, this tale (regardless of its actual truth) is far more plausible than some lawsuits I've heard reported on mainstream media. Double-checking a story like this would be like feeling the need to verify a report that a given clown was seen wearing a false, red nose.

The entirety of the litigious world is inherently silly beyond mortal scope.

----
I can see you.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:54 AM

SERENITYPUNK


Quote:

Originally posted by PietVA:
This is a lie, and you are gullible or stupid, or both.

USE www.Google.com to check such drivel.

look it up:
www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/cigars.html

Piet



How ruttin rude!

I read that as it was, a really funny story

behaviour like that is not becoming to a browncoat.

Sean..put them on............the list

=================================================
Carol
Pirate Steve defines the word cool.....
http://www.freewebs.com/serenityshindigs/index.htm - big damn shindigs

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:09 AM

CITIZEN


*Ammends list*

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:26 AM

DUCESTECUM


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
*Ammends list*

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.



list?

And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:31 AM

CITIZEN


Quote:

Originally posted by SerenityPunk:
Sean..put them on............the list



Tis the list of all darkness, the list of those that will be first against the wall when my Monkey Nija's take over the Earth...
Unless another list was meant?

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:32 AM

DUCESTECUM


Quote:

Originally posted by Zoot:
DucesTecum

Don't reckon you have anything to apologise for!!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.



You are very kind and I thank you.

And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling. Mal, Train Job

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:35 AM

DUCESTECUM


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
DITTO : to the not having to appologise...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.



Thank you kindly. See I have this problem, I will come to the aid of my friends as well as fellow Browncoats. That's just the way I am.
Don't mess with my family!

Besides, his/her comments were WAY OVER THE TOP! and he/she needed a smack. Couldn't help myself.

And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling. Mal, Train Job

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Monday, August 22, 2005 4:51 AM

CITIZEN


No problem, he was over the top.
Personally I think immature children shouldn't be given unsupervised access to the internet, but obviously PIETVA's parents disagree...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:08 AM

PIETVA


Let's see, calling a person who believes and spreads discriminatory falsehoods "gullible" is somehow "over the top"? So, what do you call a rapist? High-spirited? duh.

Well it is true in the sense that Brad Paisley sang a song about this on is "Mud on the Tires" CD. SO, THAT MAKES IT TRUE, AND Joseph GOEBBELS, Hitler's chief propagandist, RIGHT?

Thanks for your insulting reply, your |sic| an idiot well done.

It was copy and pasted from an E-mail I recieved |sic|, I didn't check whether it was true or not |my point exactly!| because it amused me, and whether or not it was true frankly didn't matter. |except to those it reviled with no cause. Let's hear it for unfounded, uninformed prejudice!|
I thought it was something amusing, which is why I posted it.

I find you an irresponsible "citizen", which is why I posted the truth.

Genius has its limits, stupidity knows no bounds...|your own confession!|

I think this makes you a b1tch, or a b@stard, or both. |and you profess thought, now?| Apology accepted.

ZOOT, CITIZEN

Don't reckon you have anything to apologise for!!! |Probably best you not ask these to do any important accounting work for you.|

SPINLAND

It's always wise to check slander, libel, and blasphemy before repeating the sin. Stay humble.


Carol is "ruttin rude"! Such a potty-mouth! Behaviour like that is not becoming a proper female.

Cit seems to have her Kermit-green knickers in a twist!

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:12 AM

CITIZEN


PietVA:
Please ask your parents to proof read your responces in future as it is obvious that you are far to immature to do it yourself.
Thank you.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:31 AM

CALLMEATH


Quote:

Originally posted by PietVA:
This is a lie, and you are gullible or stupid, or both.

USE www.Google.com to check such drivel.

look it up:
www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/cigars.html

Piet



Come on PietVA. This was incredibly rude. You could have let Citizen know it was untrue with a bit more tact. You openly insulted him/her, and he/she lashed back. What'd you expect?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:38 AM

PIETVA


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
PietVA:
Please ask your parents to proof read your responces|sic| in future as it is obvious that you are far to|sic| immature to do it yourself.
Thank you.


Perhaps you ought to follow your own advice. By the way, is that a log in your own eye?

http://dictionary.cambridge.org
responce was not found in the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary

Did you spell it correctly?

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=1237&dict=CALD

www.Dictionary.com
No entry found for responces.

Did you mean responses?

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:42 AM

PIETVA



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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:50 AM

CITIZEN


You are so far beyond being able to understand anything anyone here says that this is just converging on uselessness. The really sad part is that you really believe that you're winning. You are a shocking waste of natural resources - kindly re-integrate yourself into the food-chain...you mindless flatulent troll.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:51 AM

PIETVA


Some people need to see the truth in print, and even then, refuse to be properly humble and castigated.

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:52 AM

RELFEXIVE


Quote:

Originally posted by PietVA:
Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
PietVA:
Please ask your parents to proof read your responces|sic| in future as it is obvious that you are far to|sic| immature to do it yourself.
Thank you.


Perhaps you ought to follow your own advice. By the way, is that a log in your own eye?

http://dictionary.cambridge.org
responce was not found in the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary

Did you spell it correctly?

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=1237&dict=CALD

www.Dictionary.com
No entry found for responces.

Did you mean responses?




Oh no, not the you-can't-spell-either-nyah-nyah-nyah gambit!!

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:55 AM

PIETVA


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
The really sad part is that you really believe that you're winning.



Winning? Do you think slander and libel are a game?

At least you're trainable - you've picked up one of my pointers already.

Genius has its limits, stupidity knows no bounds...

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:56 AM

RELFEXIVE


"Girls, girls - you're both pretty." - Nathan Fillion

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:57 AM

CALLMEATH


If I may bring us back to the subject, I have a funny legal story. And yes, it's true.

My boss's wife was the head of the Human Resources department at her company. One day, an employee went to the restroom and zipped himself up. And I mean, zipped HIMSELF up.

Obviously he had to go to the hospital, and couldn't work for a while. Well, he filed for workman's comp, which was promptly denied. They told him that there was no way for the company to prevent that sort of accident, which, I think, is quite true.

So, of course, the employee filed suit against the company and won.

What a legal system...

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:00 PM

RELFEXIVE


Lawyers 1, Common Sense 0. As usual.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:02 PM

PIETVA


Quote:

Originally posted by CallMeAth:
If I may bring us back to the subject, I have a funny legal story. And yes, it's true.

My boss's wife was the head of the Human Resources department at her company.



Is that why she WAS the head of HR? Perhaps the company could have helped him with that, or is that a different lawsuit?

I meant, was she to say,"Oh, wait, let me help you with that!" And just where would she have been standing? The "proactive prevention" seemed funny, too.

To be fair, I can imagine his defense - "I was forced to hurry back to work." It still sounds lame. Didn't he have health insurance anyway, and it was a question of which paid? Then, again, I have no sympathy for companies who stiff their staff on benefits, so to speak. I really didn't plan on saying that!

I won't spread this without some documentation, though. DUCES TECUM!

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Monday, August 22, 2005 12:18 PM

CALLMEATH


Quote:

Originally posted by PietVA:
Quote:

Originally posted by CallMeAth:
If I may bring us back to the subject, I have a funny legal story. And yes, it's true.

My boss's wife was the head of the Human Resources department at her company.



Is that why she WAS the head of HR? Perhaps the company could have helped him with that, or is that a different lawsuit?

I won't spread this without some documentation, though. DUCES TECUM!



On the contrary, I mistyped. She is still the head of that company's Human Resource Department.

As for the workman's comp issue, the purpose of workman's comp is not to provide for any and all injuries sustained on the job, but to provide for injuries sustained on the job that could have been prevented by the company, or are a direct result of the work.

There is NOTHING the company could have done to prevent the man from zipping himself up. What were they to do, go into the bathroom and put everything back in place for him? The company was not rude to the employee, nor did they deny short-term disability. They just refused to pay the bill for an injury that was purely the employee's fault.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Monday, August 22, 2005 11:59 PM

DUCESTECUM


PietVA
The apology was not directed at you, oh brainless twit, and I was right you are BOTH.

Why don't you find another board of insecure, ugly, geeky creatures like yourself and leave this one alone? I'm sure you would feel right at home and we won't miss you.

And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:00 AM

PIETVA


Quote:

Originally posted by DucesTecum:
PietVA
The apology was not directed at you, oh brainless twit, and I was right you are BOTH.



Then you are obviously misdirected, as were your parents on the way to the abortion, more's the pity.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:47 AM

CITIZEN


Hi Piet, how are you, good day at work/school?
How's things?

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:01 AM

PERFESSERGEE


Wow, folks! For having started off with a funny story (albeit an urban legend), this thread has gotten astonishingly trollish. Some folk really need to lighten up. See, there are these things called "storytelling" and "fiction", and most folk recognize them as distinct from telling lies, commiting libel, or slandering someone. Devotees of a rather distinctly fictional TV show might be expected to realize that.

But, since y'all have hijacked the initial humor of this thread, I'm gonna go ahead and re-hijack it, and point our that there is actually a serious corollary of this kind of "frivolous lawsuit" story. Big business and its politician handmaidens (who are legion and not restricted to any particular political party) have been using these stories for years to argue for tort reform. And they keep repeating the stories even after they've been proven to be fictional. Now this is what constitutes "lying". (The LA Times did a long story on this a couple of weeks ago, but you have to be a paid subscriber to access stories that old). And ya know what? It's worked. Several states have enacted stringent tort reform, and it's likely that the US Congress will do it during the current administration (which has argued strongly for it).

perfessergee

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:11 AM

CITIZEN


Hi Perfessergee.
Like I said, I didn't really expect people to see this as anything more than a humours story, real or not, not important, as I thought it was obvious that this was meant to be a joke like.
Troll invasions not withstanding.

To be honest though I think the US sue 'em culture could do with a bit of a revamp, no?

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:25 AM

PERFESSERGEE


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
Hi Perfessergee.
Like I said, I didn't really expect people to see this as anything more than a humours story, real or not, not important, as I thought it was obvious that this was meant to be a joke like.
Troll invasions not withstanding.

To be honest though I think the US sue 'em culture could do with a bit of a revamp, no?

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.



The famous litigiousness of the US could indeed do with a revamp, no question about it. Too many Americans seem to think that they should be compensated any time their expectations aren't realized. But, the kinds of reforms that are being promoted by the corporate world look more like they're trying to shield themselves from the consequences of their actions, regardless of who's at fault. Kind of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. And the continued use of urban legends to promote their agenda has to make one very suspicious........

perfessergee

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:36 AM

EMBERS


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
Hi Piet, how are you, good day at work/school?
How's things?


Citizen: I'm sorry that your funny lawyer story is almost certainly going to end up in Troll Country,
I don't really understand people like this,
Piet joins this board to what? Cause a stink about a joke?
Weird trollish behavior...where are the mods?

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Sunday, September 4, 2005 6:02 PM

WHITEFALL


And now, for some really horrible, offensive, lawyer jokes! (well, just one that i can think of)

........


What do you call a boat full of lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

.......



I apologize to those of you who actually ARE lawyers, this is a joke from the monkey island 4 'Whipp Thrawtle & Digg' folks.... I couldn't resist.

I survived a day in Whitefall and all I got was this lousy signature!

Terrifying Space Monkey of Destiny

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Sunday, September 4, 2005 7:01 PM

DIETCOKE


You are a troll and do not belong in this community.

NY/NJ Browncoats: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly_nyc

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Sunday, September 4, 2005 10:16 PM

CARBONEL


Quote:

Originally posted by perfessergee:
Big business and its politician handmaidens (who are legion and not restricted to any particular political party) have been using these stories for years to argue for tort reform. perfessergee



Hi perfessergee,

A very good point! I think that problem with these stories is that they encourage the belief that getting compensation is about getting something for nothing, not about companies taking responsibility for the damage that their actions sometimes cause.

The belief that we live in a 'compensation culture' can really discourage people from trying to get reasonable compensation. I had a friend who was badly injured at a gym (a bit of an exercise bike sliced through her knee, she came fairly close to losing her leg, and she's still got an enormous scar and significantly less mobility than she used to). But she absolutely refused to look into a possible compensation claim because she said 'I'm not one of those people'. All very noble, but if it were me I would have wanted a proper investigation into how it happened (faulty manufacture? improper maintenance?) And if it turned out to be something that either the bike manufacturer or the gym could have prevented then, yes, I think they should have contributed towards the various expenses her accident entailed.

Mind you - the original story is still funny story as long as we don't take the moral as being 'compensation=blagging'.

"The cat talks?"
"The cat never shuts up."

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Sunday, September 4, 2005 11:07 PM

CITIZEN


Thats just the point they're are many circumstances when you should claim compensation. However they're a lot that are absolute . We have no win no fee coming in over here and the examples on the adverts are shocking. People weren't given the right ladder, or it wasn't secured properly and they fell of and hurt themselves winning £X000's.
What, you have no responcibility for your own safety? Its someone elses fault your too stupid to secure a ladder or use the right one?

Add to that that somehow legitimate claims are thrown out, while these idiots are rewarded for their stupidity.

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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