BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

MAR

Enough
Monday, February 7, 2005

I'm sorry... such a brief line for such a brief discussion about who you trust, who you don't trust and what happens between.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2558    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Hi there! This is my first Firefly fanfic ever and the secnd I write in english since it is not my natural language. In fact, most of the english I know I've learnt it from mr. Whedon series and Pratchett's books, but I try to do my best so please, at least read the fic and tell me what do you think, ok? Even if it is to say that my mandarin is better than my english. ---------------------------------------- I'm editin the fic a little because "CastIronJack" made me notice a very big mistake in Simon characterization... ------------------------------------------------

Here it goes, it's a little vignette at the end of 'Bushwacked'. ------------------------

“I’m sorry” “Cào nî zûxian shí bâ dai!!!” Mal jumped from his chair, bolting around and aiming his gun at Simon who backed away, startled. “Damnit, boy!! Gorram went into you? I could’ve shoot you in the spot!!” “I’m sorry” The doctor said again, although Mal wasn’t sure if he was repeating his last statement or apologising for scare the hell out of him. Not that he cared. “What do you want?” he asked finnally, putting the weapon back to it’s place and sitting again. “I wanted to apologize...” the doctor advanced through the dinner room and stopped near him, next to te table. He looked tired, dark patches under his eyes. “You did, no need to mention this any further... just don’t startle me again if you want to keep your face with the regular five holes.” He heard the boy sighing, probably wandering if he was chûn or simply playing it. No need to ease his mind about that. “I meant that I’m sorry for doubting you before... when the Alliance were going to board us.” “You’re sorry you thought I was goin’ to betray you, or you’re sorry you thought it and you got all mad for no reason since I was plannin’ to keep you two safe?” The young doctor’s frown, that he had rarely seen at ease, deepened. He’d said it as a joke, but Simon was actually thinking about the question. “I’m sorry I doubted you with no reason... but I can’t help doubting you... at this very moment I can’t help doubting every single person I see or hear... and since I met Jayne, even smell.” Mal got a small smile in spite of himself, the doctor did spoke his mind. “So you don’t trust me?” “I’m in the ship.” “Yet you don’t trust me.” Simon nodded. “Sorry.” “Stop apologizing, doctor. But now tell me, am I supposed to trust you?” Now it was the doc moment to look surprised, he did so by rising lightly and eyebrow. Man, except for that gorram crazy girl he had for a sister this boy had the emotional face expression range of a rock. “I would never think of provide you with less than the best health care I could manage, captain...” he declared making Mal feel as if he was some kind of Alliance VIP. He hated that. “I didn’t said that you wouldn’t kid... I was talking about trust... how am I supposed to know that you won’t leave us the moment someone comes with a better offer for you and your sister... that you won’t turn us for the sake of it...?” the capitain was just trying to make a little fun, yet found himself curious about the answer when the doctor didn’t gave it to him right away but kept still, thinking. “I’m not going to find that place, nor that person...” the doctor finnally said. “What?” “I said, that I won’t find a place or a person that will make me feel safe. The government I worked for, the same that gave me the best education one could afford and a job that filled my life, tortured my sister, a helpless kid, and turned her into someone I find hard to recognise. She is shattered. They broke her into so many pieces I can’t find the corners to rebuild what she was...” “Carefully there doc, you’re startin’ to talk Riveresque...” “... and when I found that something was happening, when I got her cry for help, my family, the one I was rised to believe that would stick togheter no matter what, all but abandoned us,” there was a bitterness there that Mal hadn’t heard before in the doctor. “...choosed to stay in his merry world with his fancy dinners instead, and throwed us away...” “Meanin’?” “Meaning that I may not trust you a hundred per cent, but there’s no way I will ever trust someone else either...” “So you’re stayin’ with us ‘cause...?” Simon touched the metal wall and closed his eyes. “Because I must put my stakes somewhere...” “ ‘Cause you ain’t no other place to go, and ain’t gonna find it?” The doctor nodded, serious as dead. “That’s a hell of a reason to be somewhere...” “I have River, she’s my reason to be anywhere.” “A damn kê aí kunag nyu hai? That’s not much.” The doctor smiled, one of the few genuines smiles he’d seen him wearing. “It’s enough.”

----------- Translation of the chiness expressions (I took it from here):

cào nî zûxian shí bâ dai = fuck 18 generations of your ancestors chûn: Stupid kê aí kunag nyu hai : cute crazy girl (absolutly freely constructed, but I think I got it right.)

xiexie for reading this!!

COMMENTS

Monday, February 7, 2005 3:51 PM

KAYSKY


Not bad for a first fanfic. The interaction between the characters was well done. I'd love to read more. =o)

Monday, February 7, 2005 4:19 PM

RAT


Jen duh sh tyen tsai!!

Monday, February 7, 2005 4:55 PM

ARAGLAS


WOW! The face really does have five holes (It's a revelation for me my friend!)

Anywho, pretty shexney story you've got here... I like it a lot... keep up the good work!

Monday, February 7, 2005 9:22 PM

CASTIRONJACK


Other than a few misspellings its very sound, structurally. Reads really smooth(the former doesn't necessarily include this).

"Very best health care," indeed, very Simonish, smart and not so much at the same time.

Take a look at my Honest Run series, I always like input, and the series turns on Simon and Mal together...

A slight criticism would be that Simon is the last person on the ship to say ain't.

Keep flyin'

Tuesday, February 8, 2005 12:06 AM

AMDOBELL


A good first story and a scene I would have loved to have seen on the show. Well done, you managed to convey the awkwardness and hesitation of Simon with what must for him be a hard decision yet it clears the air between him and the Captain. Shiny, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Sunday, August 28, 2005 8:31 AM

BELLONA


zhe zhen shi ge kuai le de jingzhang...v. good


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I'm sorry... such a brief line for such a brief discussion about who you trust, who you don't trust and what happens between.