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BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR
And you’re back ladies and gentlemen, with the king of the dirt, the dancing bear of the flying circus… your back with Jazz and “All That”
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 643 RATING: 0 SERIES: FIREFLY
”All That Jazz” Broadcast
June 15, 2517
5:18 P.M A.S.T
-On the screen there is the image of an animated brown world spinning in circles very quickly. It stops and on its northern pole there is a signal broadcast tower. The image remains, but then several pictures pop up beside it, and words move around on the screen. The image of the speaker is not visible.-
"And you’re back ladies and gentlemen, with the king of the dirt, the dancing bear of the flying circus… your back with Jazz and “All That”. So when I left you to go pick up one of these delicious Tángjiāng Ginger Orbs, I don’t know where we got them, but we have them, and their just a delight, the “Great Alliance” was sending out a report on criminal activities on the Rim. Allow me to recite my favorite line."
“With these most recent crack downs, the planets of the Rim are looking more and more each day like civilized lands on which anyone should feel safe visiting.”
"…I’m sorry, I was under the impression that we were rather civilized people. I’ve been to parties on the Core and the Rim, and I’ll tell ya, a Boros Ball beats a Londinium Lounge Out any day. This is just another example of the powers that be telling ‘us’ how they’re our betters. You know what I got to say back to that?"
Oh, look at that ladies and gentlemen. It seems that we’ve reached the 5,000th on air swear of the week. But we’ll move to the prize phase momentarily. So the Alliance is doing what it does best, spitting on the conquered people just as sport. Well they may think that we’re a broken horse, but we’re the wild mustang spirit we always have been. We’re just taking a bit of a break, letting them have some time to breathe before we come back and rip them to bits… well some of us anyway. Others out here on the wrong side of the border it seems are still hard out trying to keep up the fights.
What with the attack on that ship… what was it… the Dominance or somethin’ like that… you know the one that was blown up over Londinium last April. Now we’ve already managed to dig up that a lot of the losses reported were FALSIFIED, but that doesn’t dismiss the fact that the “Bastards in Brown”, Black Sand, managed to get aboard sink the whole damn thing before anyone even knew she was there. Of course that comes after that little mess she caused on Ariel. But while no one knows who the mad men really are, their message is clear enough. The question is when the Alliance is going to get it.
Now with a ship sinking right in their home harbor, and known lies of extended patrols to the rim, could it be that the Alliance is all smoke and bloody mirrors? In spite of what my… detractors of the Central Planets say, I’m not inciting terrorist activities. I spent my time in the trenches, ladies and gentlemen, you all know this. The weeks spent taking fire from the “Purple Avalanche”, but would I do it again? I keep my rifle handy for the moment the call rings out again, and I’m sure many of you do too. They’re just trying to hold our heads down in a bucket of water, and telling us that we’re in an ocean, but we’re just waiting for that second to spit all we’ve got right back at em.
…. OH SHIT…
"Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen, it appears Jazzy’s done again. I’ve dropped my Ginger Orb on the ground… See, the Alliance is trying to make drop things and make a fool of myself…. Hahahahaha…. Alright, we got Valstone in studio 3 with “stupid stuff from around the verse”, I’ll be back in a bit… Take it away Valstone!"
< End Segment
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