ENGINEANGEL'S BLOG

EngineAngel

What Does It Mean????
Saturday, February 10, 2007

I had this really weird dream last week...I've been trying to analyze it but haven't had much luck. I can feel that whatever it means is really powerful though, so I wish I could find out what it means.

It starts with my mom and I driving in her car together (I don't know where, but I know we had a specific destination). There's no tension. Things are great...we're talking and joking around. Things are just...great, relaxed - I was actually thinking to myself during the dream how weird it was that they were like that, with my mom and me and everything...it was so unfamiliar for things to be like that. Anyways, so, my phone rings, but for some reason I don't want my mom to see that I have answered it. I try to hide it, but when the woman on the phone says her name and asks if my mother is there (which was very very weird, I was thinking at the time "why would she be calling my cell phone??") I say "um...mom?" and my mom sees that I'm talking on the cell phone. She says "Elizabeth, get off the phone!" (like I really wasn't supposed to be on it at the time) but when I say that it was for her, her attitude totally changes and she takes the call. So she says "uh huh" to the phone a few times and then hangs up. There's now more tension in the car and she tells me what happened. It turns out it was someone from her office telling her about another person she knew from work who got seriously injured - something to do with sharp blades and cuts all over his body - knives, or, for some reason, I'm thinking axes...weird.

So we change directions and destinations, and the car is pretty silent until we get to where we're going. When we get there, it looks like we're going to some sort of one floor hotel. There's a lot of tan around - tan walls, just lots of tan. So we enter and there's a desk (like a hotel check-in desk) to the far-back left of the room, some people standing around, and then a stairway leading only down into some sort of basement thing in the very far-back right corner. We head straight for the stairs, walking so fast that I'm not able to take in most of my surroundings. As we go down the stairs, I see that there's some kind of black fabric surrounding the spiraling stairway, drapes of a sort. We go down into the "basement area" and I see another large tan room, a few more people dressed in black mingling, a bunch of chairs in rows with an isle down the middle of them, and right smack dab in the front middle of the room...is a coffin - a chestnut wood coffin. All I can think to myself is "...he wasn't really dead...they said he was injured, cut, whatever, not dead!!!" I walk a little closer because my mom does as well, and as we move closer, i can see that on top of the coffin, in the middle, instead of being wood, there's a 3 foot piece of glass set in it so people can see this guy...I can't believe it, "maybe it isn't true?" i think. I walk a couple steps closer, and see a man in a black suit inside...not the man's face but his upper chest. i don't go ANY closer than that. I started to freak out, truth be told. Seriously, I'm really not good around dead things. i can feel that they're no longer living, and it creeps me out. Graveyards? Forget about it! Walking through them is usually mostly ok, although I do get a little freaked looking at the gravestones, but I cannot cannot cannot step on the grass there. I can't. It makes my skin crawl, and I feel disrespectful to the people. I just can't deal with it, and I CANNOT deal with open caskets. It's just too creepy for me.

So, I'm freaking a little and I tell my mom, "...i need to go, I can't see that. We need to go." Or something to that effect. She tells me to calm down and motions for me to go sit over in a chair away from the casket, that she'll just be a bit, that she needs to "pay her respects". So I go sit down, look down at my hands, and then back up at the coffin, then back down at my hands, and on and on, just getting more and more worked up. I'm having an anxiety attack, seriously. I know what they feel like and this was most definitely the beginnings of one, moving on to the middle of one if i didn't get my butt out of there. So I go up to my mom, hands wringing together and me panicking and looking around. I ask her "can we go??? I'm seriously not good here." She says no and for me to calm down, that she hasn't mingled or paid her respects yet, or something like that. I go back, sit down, and get even more worked up. It gets to the point where I ask again "I REALLY need to get out of here", and she says the same thing as before. I just can't take it so I run upstairs and calm down. It takes me a bit, but I'm able to calm down a lot, and eventually I go back downstairs to try to get my mom to go now. When I go down, I don't get as panicked as before but over the short time I'm down there, I do panic some. The room has filled up a little more since I'd last been there with more people in black, and I go to my mom and ask if we can go yet. It seems like I'm just getting annoying to her, and she says "No go back upstairs or be quiet down here" or something. I run back upstairs because I can't handle staying down there.

Eventually I go back down a couple more times, each time asking my mom if we can go yet, because I'm freaking. Each time, the room has filled up with more people in black (and I recognize some of them, although I can't place them now) and each time, everyone in the room seems VERY calm and I am the only one freaking out. Each time my mom says no and then I run back upstairs to cool down. The third time (I think it was) that I run up the stairs, I scramble and trip, grabbing onto the black curtains for support. They disconnect a bit from the wall and I can see pieces of tan tape that were holding them up (a lot of black and tan in this dream). I think to myself "oh great, someone's going to notice. They did all this work putting them up and I ruined it." I'm also hoping not to get in trouble.

I stay up in the "lobby" area for a while, and then enough was enough. I NEED to go. I go downstairs, and find the chairs all filled and people standing up lining the walls as well. All are dressed in black, including my mom, and in the front-middle of the aisle is a man dressed in black who looks like he is going to begin leading a funeral service for the man in the casket. Quickly, I pull my mom aside and tell her "we need to go...NOW." It actually works!...except she begrudges me for it and drags her feet all the way upstairs. I pull her to the stairs, basically, then scramble up by myself, then wait in the "lobby" a minute or two for her and my brother who had just kind of shown up at the place to come up as well. We leave...but she had this attitude of "god, you're such a pain, Elizabeth. We weren't done there and you made such a big deal of things. We just HAD to leave. You could have stuck it out!" THAT kind of thing. You know.

Sigh, so we get into the car and drive...I don't know where to, but all I can focus on and all I don't want to focus on was the tension that had built....SUCH tension...

And so I wonder what it all means! I do! Because I have this huge huge feeling that the dead body MEANS something VERY important that I just can't grasp, that my mom and my relationship has a role to play in it, but is not the overall thing, and that, if I could figure this dream out, some important things would start to just maybe make sense to me...So any insights are welcome, really. I've tried to figure this dream out with people and with myself with no luck, so it'll be cool to see people's perspectives.

anything? *huggles huggles*
x Engie

COMMENTS

Sunday, February 11, 2007 8:56 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Whoa...that's some mighty interesting stuff you got there, EngineAngel:S

In any case, I can't really think of anything for the dream's meaning other than it's exploring the relationship between you and your mom. You mention basically right off the bat that the idea of you and your mom have an enjoyable time while riding in the car for a fair distance would be completely wacky, then go on to have your mom ignore your anxiety attacks and requests for departure. To me, that seems to speak on underlying tension between your mom and yourself about how the both of you conduct yourselfs and how those presumably independent methodologies of behaviour clash with one another.

I would want to call this a premonition of sorts in concerns to something big happening in the future where your mom reacts one way and you react in generally opposite manner, and there's clashing.

BEB

Sunday, February 11, 2007 7:35 AM

PHOENIXROSE


Cars are symbolic of control. If you are in a dream and not driving you do not feel in control of the situation, whatever the symbolic situation might be.
I don't remember what death symbolizes, though. I want to say change or renewal, but I could be totally off on that. I know that's what the death card means in the tarot. You responded to it the same way you might respond to an actual body, though, which is extremely unusual in my experience. I almost never respond the same in dreams as I would in real life; I think I respond to the symbols or something, I just have no idea.
It's too bad you didn't see who the dead man was. I've been told that every person in our dream is supposed to represent a part of our own selves, and a dead person would definitly be signifigant in terms of that.
That's the other thing to consider. If everyone in your dream represents a piece of you (as well as representing themselves) that's something to look at. What does your mom represent to you? What part of your own personality or psyche might relate to that? What does the interaction mean, looking at it that way?
Yeah, dreams are complicated. I've read many things about interpretation and talked to a lot of people about it and it's all very intuitive and strange. Best of luck with this, hon!

Sunday, February 11, 2007 2:28 AM

PROWL


I'd say, what does the color tan mean to YOU? It's clear the black is signifying the funeral. But the tan might have some personal meaning to you. For example, to me, it usually means something dated, from the 70's maybe. Something not contemporary. But it could mean something different to you.

Your relationship with your mother seems to be the focus. As I read your passage I could predict how it would end, with your mother giving in to you, but making you feel guilty even though you had a genuine concern to leave. Perhaps you felt this way when you were younger? Did your mother often brush you aside to do her own things and make you feel guilty for making simple demands of her? You speak of a tension, does that exist in your waking life, even if it's one-way?


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