bio...again by vampchick88

VAMPCHICK88'S BLOG

vampchick88

bio...again
Friday, February 02, 2007

i'm supposed to be working on a review...and i'm...not. because i'm bored and i can't get my mind to work... i think it's because i'm about 38 minutes away from a 3 day weekend. no wait, it's definatly about that.

i'm supposed to go to this anime con thingy, and so this weekend i'm gonna have to do some research on what i want to be. i'm not going to go as some manga character, i'm going as...the greatest thing ever...HELLO KITTY! i know!!! amazing! i have no idea how i'm going to pull off being a white cat.

i'm going to go see EPIC MOVIE tonight with eliza and a couple friends, it should prove to be tres amusant.

great, even when i'm not in french class...i'm in french class.

so, mom is going to the doctor with eliza's mom on monday to figure out what is going on with her. i'm really worried, again. i really hope she's going to be okay. going through chemo again would be terrible. except that when she was sick i spent more time with her then ever because i stayed home atleast twice a week.

and when she was going through radiaion in the summer she wouldn't work a couple days a week, so we would go out to lunch and a movie or to the mall. it's shallow but mom and i bond of sales.

i really just want it to be 3:30 so i can go and hang out with people. i really do hate my bio teacher. i think he's a jerk. he knows about my mom and didn't even tell me that i should leave. and i really don't want to bring up in class how uncomfortable i am with it because i don't want all the other kids in class to know.

i suppose i could tell him after class, but i'm just worried that he's gonna treat me like i'm made out of glass. i've had enough of that for a life time.

i am so freaked out about the idea of my mom going through surgery, you have no idea. there is no way i would be able to go through the school day if i knew she was at the hospital... of course this does bring out the part of me that hates waiting rooms. i've dealt with enough of them whenever i go with mom to her doctors appointments. the couchs are too small to lay out on, the chairs are too hard, all the good magazines are alrealy stollen, and the TV is stuck on CNN.

most likely though i will end up in the waiting room with my laptop and buffy DVDs as i wait it out...that wouldn't be too bad, a little angel makes everything better in my opinion.

is it wierd that i love hospital cafeteria food? because i do, the food at the hospital my mom goes to for her doctors is great! i'm not kidding either! if i didn't have a huge fear of blood i would so work there!

this fear of blood isn't exactly going to help me with my dream of being a criminal profiler is it? i mean, you can't be afraid of blood if you spend your entire day, can you?

i don't know.

i also don't know if i'm going to be able to go away to college if my mom gets sick. how terrible would it be if i was half way across the country, and she got sick? i wouldn't be able to deal with it!

oh god...i'm going to end up pulling a total buffy. i'll drop out of college for a "little while" and just end up being a loser who has to work at double-meat palace... oh god...

this is not what i want to be thinking about!

of course it's hard to get away from my anxiety, when it turns out that i actually have an anxiety disorder. it's true, i was diagnosed with it a little while ago. so now i'm split worrying about how i may be crazy, kirran (more on that later because i am pissed!), my mom, and college!

oh! and, guess what!!!!???!? kirran was ARRESTED last friday!!!!! i know!!!!! they busted her completely drunk at a party!!! she has to go to court, rehab, and now she's grounded for 6 months. i can't believe she's that stupid. i'm going to kill her!

her parents should've put her on total lockdown! i would've if i was her mom and dad!

this is going to go on her record! people will look at this when she goes to get into college, or get a job, or even if she want's to adopt a kid when she's grown up. she's so stupid. god, i'm just really pissed about it.

not just about her, but the fact that no one had the stones to tell me. she was arrested on friday, and i only found out on SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!! why did no one tell me!??!?!?!? i spoke to 5 people who knew before i did, and none of them thought it was important to tell me.

this is just too much for me to take. i'm sick of acting like her mother.

not that i've been doing it too much lately, i've gotten better at supressing my urges at scoulding my friends for skipping classes.

i just really don't want to deal with it. i'm not speaking to her until i get over it, because i may actually kill her.

i just want to go home, watch criminal minds, and sleep!!1

is that too much to ask?

COMMENTS

Friday, February 02, 2007 7:10 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

It never gets any easier, does it? I can certainly sympathize with you, vampirechick88...the year after the initial diagnosis for my mom was anything but fun:(

And like the birthday girl (Mavoureen, in case you weren't in the know) said, be glad Kirran was stopped before something truly horrific and Faith-in-Season-3 happened:(

BEB

Friday, February 02, 2007 10:56 AM

MSG

That is not too much to ask. I say if you don't want to talk to him you silently seethe and plot his demise at the hands of a serial killer ( this allows greater freedom to invent horrific tortures) Think of it as your own little episode of Criminal Minds:) I often enjoy "designing" my own serial killer and determining his pathology, signature,etc. I find it soothing ( yes I know I'm a freak I've accepted this and moved on) The weekend will come Oh and you definitely have to take some pics of you as Hello Kitty and post them:) BIG HUGS Hon and I am so impressed with how together and mature you are at handling this ( I know it doesn't feel like it, but you really are) Love you sweety!

Friday, February 02, 2007 9:56 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Aside from everything else with your mom & school - be thankful Kirran was arrested. Be thankful she got arrested at a party and not after she plowed a car into a school bus.
An arrest and possible rehab could be the things she needs to get her life straightened out.

While your friends are whatever for not telling you...just be thankful that it happened. And go on from there.

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