MANICGIRAFFE'S BLOG
MANICGIRAFFE

Thrust and Riposte

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:42 PM

Pardon the fencing terms (it should be noted that I know crap about swords, except which end to hold. But Wikipedia knows all kinds of neat words).

I'm trying to work out a lovely dialogue between a loopy, sarcastic Simon and cold, manipulative Mother. I've got the general idea, but it just doesn't have that verbal punch a fight between a brillaint doctor and his family should have.

Anyone wanna read what I've got and tell me how to make it not suck?

COMMENTS: 2

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Comments
Thursday, 19 October 2006 04:56
Well...I would offer to beta - would actually love to, really - but my performance rate in doing critique work has plummetted:(

Still...if you need a fresh viewpoint and are willing to be patient with a poor and burdened university student...you can drop it off at general_iblis@yahoo.ca
Thursday, 19 October 2006 11:46
I, on the other hand, am a fencer.

And - immodest cough - google a little something called 'Impasse' by AnJL. That has a sarcastic son and manipulative father having a non-bonding moment with weaponry...

I love your stuff to date - bung it my way and I'll have a gander at it.

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