Jungle Cruise by JEWELSTAITEFAN

CINEMA

Jungle Cruise

POSTED BY: JEWELSTAITEFAN
UPDATED: Wednesday, August 18, 2021 20:33
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VIEWED: 1145
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Wednesday, August 18, 2021 8:33 PM

I had thought I wanted to see this. Emily Blunt was in it, and although I managed to miss Mary Poppins she did well with Edge of Tomorrow and Quiet Place.
I had seen some trailers which implied it was similar to Indiana Jones, or Hooten and The Lady, or Tomb Raider.

I felt Hooten and The Lady to be better than Tomb Raider, although I thoroughly enjoy watching Alicia Vikander onscreen as much as Ophelia Lovibond.

Now I am forced to assume this dreck is in cinema because some amusement park has created a ride called Jungle Cruise, and they needed something to push it.
If you are trying to conjure what sort of rubbish this is, conjure watching Indy Jones (or the other 2 quality works) directed in the campy vibe of 1960s Batman - the Adam West style.
Or maybe it is Mary Poppins as Indy Jones.

I was only able to subject myself to 30 minutes of this garbage. Full disclosure, I knew there was Free Guy just waiting in the next theater for me to come see it a second time. But I almost never walk out of a film showing.

If I were to reccommend this film to anybody, I would conjure a family who had taken their young tykes to an amusement park, and the night before they wanted to amp up the tiny munchkins, and if those munchkins were young enough, dumb enough, gullible enough to swallow this dreck, then it might do the trick.

I left 2 hours too early to see if there was a coda.

Hooten and Tomb Raider were vastly greater than this. But it is very possible that I missed the point of whatever it was.

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